Great things you never would have done if you hadn't split up with your ex...

[Divorcedand2teenDDs]

Another thread has inspired me to start this one. It's often hard to see the silver lining when a relationship is ending, but it also opens new doors you otherwise never would have noticed. Capture yours here to encourage and inspire others.
I'll start by saying if my exH hadn't left I'd never have:

1. Realised how fantastic my women friends are
2. Had some great guilt-free sex
3. Taken my DDs to NYC
4. Started wild swimming
5. Got into size 10 jeans again

Wear clothes for their comfort and warmth factor without being moaned at and called frumpy.

Buy myself flowers when I want to
Watch crap telly with my girls
Discuss current affairs with an open mind and no ranting
Hang a curtain rail
Holiday with friends

Simply to be happy and free to be myself again.

Gone to uni
Gone to a feminist conference, and a march
Discovered I actually like sex
Ran the local sling meet
Let DS self wean from bf
Met DP (obv!)
Had the opportunity to live abroad

Be able to start Being involved in acting without feeling guilty about it
Not feeling guilty every time I went out
Getting back in touch with friends
Met my DH

Now being able to wear skirts and dresses and have my hair long without being accused of going to sleep with someone else
Not having to stay in the same house as my ex and her previous partner!!!!

Gained new qualifications and furthered my career
Become so close to my female friends
Been able to develop good friendships with men
Had such a brilliant social life
Learned to feel confident and to love myself again

Gone on a life coaching weekend in Cumbria knowing very little about it and on a 1:1 basis

Taken my DC on an adventure holiday some way from home

great things I would do if I were divorced

Actually go the country of one of my origins instead of dh's country all the time.
Not go to dh's country to stay with mil for every f'cking 'holiday
Take my ds to a country he's never been to (like I was from birth)
Spend proper time with my ds instead of just cooking/cleaning after my 'd'h.
Relax with ds
Give proper attention to ds in terms of homework given 'd'h has absolved himself of any responsiblility on the grounds he's a 'foreigner' HA HA (as is one of my parents and pretty much all the parents at ds's school and it doesn't stop them being interested in their child's education or development).
Not have to hide my own opinions/upbrining/experiences/thoughts
Come back from working knowing our ds was not just playing on a video game
Get to they gym properly
Eat food I want to and that suits me.
Live!!!!!

Lovely thread - food for thought. Really is.

What else have you all done?

Only been divorced several months so hoping to add alot more to my list as time goes on, but so far:

Dye my hair and grow it longer
Go to bed when I want
Cook meals that I like
Watch what I like on tv
Listen to my music
Be in charge of my own finances without someone else bleeding the bank account dry
Visit family in London and see a show
Eat in a Mexican restaurant
Buy an iPhone
Chill out with dc and watch a film without being given jobs to do because someone resents me sitting down.
Spend my days off how I want instead of havin to explain myself to anyone else.

Get more piercings!
Learnt to do some diy
Decorate the house how I want
Have lazy days with dd when I want
Take dd for random daytrips and have loads of adventures!
Being in charge of my own finances
Have amazing sex with some amazing men!
Listen to my music
Read what I want without snide remarks
Eat in bed
Have long bubble baths
Finally improved my self esteem

if i ever separate i would

be able to eat what i want when i want without him hovering over me
not cry every day
have the energy to go out and meet people
go to church again
have people round to the house
not feel guilty about not visiting the inlaws every week
be able to make future plans without being afraid of arguments getting in the way
be able to get a job without being afraid of upsets getting in the way
go on holiday just with dd and be able to relax and not have to constantly walk on eggshells

yeh it gets u thinking. i feel guilty even writing this

Great thread!
For me getting in touch with all my old friends that I shut myself away from because of him - they have all been beyond fantastic and have welcomed me back so warmly.
Eat what and when I like.
Watch what I like.
Have people over to my new house anytime I like.
Staying out all day with dcs at friends houses and not having to worry about being back to do dinner and iron shirts for his night shifts.
Move to an area that I want to live in and not one that I hate but is more convenient for his work.
Fill my new house with all the things I love and colour schemes that are not just blue or white.
Never having to watch another episode of Top Gear, American Chopper, Deadliest Catch, Scrapheap Challenge and all the other shit that was constantly on the tv.
Not having to keep the kids quiet all day while he was asleep and worrying how he would react if they did wake him.
My stomach no longer going into knots when I hear him stirring upstairs, worried about what mood he was going to be in.

Wow, didn't realise there were so many and probably many more. So so pleased I got out, I hope this thread encourages anybody who is feeling as miserable as I was to make that brave step. It's incredibly hard to do but it is so worth it. Life is too short to be miserable

@IAmBooyhoo about your cat... that made me quite sad

I have painted a wall at the top of stairs, and a mirror frame in the bathroom, bright red from left-over paint. Free deco!

Decorated house how I wanted, especially my lounge curtains.
Got my belly button pierced.
Discovered I actually do have a life outside my family.
Enjoy weekends without the kids.
Have fantastic sex with a new man.
Have a relationship with new man on my terms.
Lost 20 pounds.
Have control of the remote.
and the biggy: now able to move back to USA, which I hope to do by end of year.

I was just thinking about starting a thread like this!!!

My marriage wasn't anywhere as bad as some of these sound, but I am still really loving it just being me and the dcs. My list would be:

Being able to take my time putting the dcs to bed, ds always opens up to me more at bedtimes but dh would always nagging me to come downstairs asap.

Not having to explain to dcs why daddy wasn't coming to the park etc again coz he was 'resting' or in the pub.

Having more guilt free time without dcs, not as much as dh gets but still.

Being able to sleep with whoever I want, whenever I want (within reason!) And the excitement of sleeping with someone new/different.

Not getting bitter and resentful about dh doing fuck all around the house/with the kids because it's only my responsibility now.

And most of all not having to stress all the time about where he is/who he's with - now I know he's with her and I couldn't give half a shit

Live where I like
Throw rubbish away instead of collecting it
Wear (not very) low cut tops
Know my car won't get sold when I'm not looking
Drive where and when I want to
Chat for hours on phone
Talk to/smile at male human beings without being accused of cheating
Sleep peacefully.

Been happy...

*Met and married my DH
*Had a baby with my DH
*Moved away and become an Outdoor Activity Instructor (done before marriage and baby)

This is a great thread. My address is not credit black-listed any more since x left. I have driven the longest distance I have ever driven and than put up a tent with my children and camped with them for the first time. I taught my son to ride a bike.
I now have the number of dogs I want. I spend as much time in my garden as I want, and as much money as I want on plants. I am responsible for everything, earning and running the house, I always was, but now I don't get let down constantly by expecting x to do his share.

Dyed my hair
Got a tattoo
Got my nose pierced
Had a one-night stand
Kissed a woman
Went back to university
Started enjoying exercise
Got small furry pets ("eurgh, what d'you want them for?")
Moved far, far away
Went on holiday with friends

Oh, I had an article published in a national paper
Got a promotion
And
Joined mumsnet!

Know my kids are not being scarred and ruined for life by witnessing extreme alcohol abuse.
Bought and kept a car.
Kept my sanity.
Shagged some lovely men.
Had peace of mind re finances.
Visit my family and take my kids whenever I want to.
Watch tv or a movie of MY choice without his rules of what he will and will not watch dictating my viewing habits.
Cancel sky sports!
Feel attractive again as I don't have to live with the knowledge that he chooses other women over me constantly because he believes me to be old and unattractive.

So so many more.

Reduced my alcohol intake by about 100 units a week;
Reconciled with family/friends who didn't like XH;
Eaten lots of FISH that he hated;
Listened to my 'shit' music;
Watched my 'shit' television;
Become a better mother;
Come in late without fear of his anger;
Lost weight;
Spent more quality time with my children;
Lived in a house with white walls;
Understood what a healthy and respectful relationship feels like;
Not been scared of going to restaurants in case he treats the staff like crap;
Been able to step back, take stock, and make the rest of my life BETTER.