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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do i tell or should i tell dh that his valentines gift is too expensive and he should take it back....

41 replies

mum2sam · 13/02/2006 22:17

Dh gave me my valentines gift early today as he was too excited to wait until 2moro. He had had chosen it himself a little necklace with a cross with diamonds.I had a sneaky look at the receipt and saw he had paid £106 for it. Its a lovely necklace but very delicate not ideal with ds and plus id never guess it was that much and to eb honest I wouuld be happy with a £20 necklace sholud I say something or leave it be. I hate wasting money on something when I could be just as happy as something less. All ive got dh is love vouchers, a pampering set and me all to himself for the night

OP posts:
starlover · 13/02/2006 22:18

imagine you don;'t know the price..

do you love it?

if so keep it

Frizbetheexpansionset · 13/02/2006 22:19

No, don't tell him that he'll be mortally offended, it takes most blokes long enough to think of what to get as it is!
Accept it for the lovely gift it is, and who knows maybe you'll get to wear it out to a nice posh place for dinner as well

MarsOnLife · 13/02/2006 22:19

ditto starlover... or you could email me and I'll tell him where to send it? lol

biglips · 13/02/2006 22:20

agreed with fribe

biglips · 13/02/2006 22:20

eek!!! sorry i agreed with Frizbe

paolosgirl · 13/02/2006 22:22

If it was me (and I do tend to go where angels fear to tread ), I'd say that I sneaked a look at the receipt, and whilst you absolutely love it, you'd be too worried to wear it round ds in case it breaks, and could he maybe get the money back for the 2 of you to go out for a lovely meal at some point? Something like that...others will probably say "no don't tell him!", but I'm afraid I couldn't justify over £100 for a necklace and would have to say something.

soapbox · 13/02/2006 22:24

Poor men, they can't win can they!

No don't say a word he will be crushed. Be happy and enjoy wearing it on special occasions in the knowledge that your DH chose it for you as a token of his love and appreciation for you!

I think if we reduce present giving and taking to just a financial transaction, then frankly what is the point?

mumatuks · 13/02/2006 22:27

Hi M2Sam, I just asked my DH and he said he would've brought it knowing how much he was spending and he'd be pretty upset if I turned it away! He also added it doesn't matter what you've got him, its the thought that counts!

I agree with DH on this, and what everyone else says too! Oh before I hit the button to post this, he must've really put some thought into it as he was so excited as to give you it today, so I'd hug him and thank him... give him a nice back rub with the pampering set!

starlover · 13/02/2006 22:28

if i spent a lot on something lovely and thoughtful for dp and he said he didn't want it i'd be gutted

i think your dp will too. enjoy your necklace and don't say anyhting

biglips · 13/02/2006 22:28

my dp bought me an very expensive jewellery last year and i nearly fell off my chair when i found out the cost of it

i grew to love it as loads of people compliment it all the time... at first i was scared to wear it but now i wear it when im out with my dp or special occasions so im glad that ive kept it as its gorgeous!

IvortheEngine · 13/02/2006 22:31

I say to keep it and enjoy it!

WigWamBam · 13/02/2006 22:32

How would you feel if you had put a lot of time and thought into a wonderful present for him, and he gave it back and told you that it was a waste of money and could you buy him something cheaper instead? I would be gutted - and I dare say that's how he would feel if you told him the same, even if you dressed it up so that it sounded nicer.

What a shame to reject something caring and romantic.

paolosgirl · 13/02/2006 22:33

Just me then. Told you I go where the angels don't - although I guess it's different if you love the item he bought you.

mum2sam · 13/02/2006 23:14

I know i dont want to hurt his feelings as he seemed proud to have chosen something himself. The thing is although its a lovely necklace theres no way I would of thought it would of cost that much to look at it.I really dont mean to sound ungrateful as I love my dh to bits and really appreciate the fact that he took the effort to chose something nice and very expensive.

OP posts:
mum2sam · 13/02/2006 23:24

9ct White Gold Diamond Cross
4234936

This contemporary style 9ct white gold diamond cross pendant hangs on a 9ct white gold chain. It features a central claw set diamond; the body of the cross is split and each end is also accented with a diamond.

Material:9ct White Gold Stone type:Diamond Birthstone:April Stone shape:Round Diamond carat:.08 carat Length:46cm

OP posts:
SorenLorensen · 13/02/2006 23:29

You're moaning that your dh has bought you a lovely and expensive necklace for Valentine's ?

Spare a thought for those of us who are going to get nada, zilch, nothing...

Enjoy it! Your ds is not going to be at the grabbing stuff stage for ever - just be pleased that your dh is so thoughtful.

Sallystrawberry · 13/02/2006 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mum2sam · 13/02/2006 23:35

Its from hsamuel I have no idea how to do a link. I know I sound ungratful but have you never had a present where you thought it was really nice but you wouldnt have paid that much for it.Its obviously cus of the diamond why its so expensive. I will enjoy my day with dh 2moro and maybe after make up an excuse to exchange it for something a little less expensive I could say im allergic to white gold perhaps

OP posts:
SorenLorensen · 13/02/2006 23:38

Is this it, mum2sam?

Sallystrawberry · 13/02/2006 23:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mymama · 13/02/2006 23:42

In two minds about this. I would have loved for my dh to get me something like this. On the other hand, my dh gave me silky/lacy number that looks extremely uncomfortable and not something I would wear. Also made of sily stuff that makes you itch . He is taking it back today to exchange for something else. I feel bad but he bought me something similar a while ago and I explained why I don't like wearing that sort of material. Try not to think of the cost/practicality of it just enjoy it - you only live once. You could wear it and nothin else when he has you all to himself tonight

Carmenere · 13/02/2006 23:43

You know £106 isn't that much to spend on a piece of jewelery that you will keep and wear forever. really would you be that impressed if he spent £20 on a piece of costume jewelery, that you would break or lose in a year or two. It's a lovely gift and I think the telling part of your original post is that he was excited to give it to you. Accept it with the spirit it was given in, it was given as a token of love, accept it with love, and enjoy wearing it

mymama · 13/02/2006 23:45

To add - I didn't buy dh anything. I did give him something that he only gets a few times a year though .

mum2sam · 14/02/2006 07:55

Yeah thats it Sorenloren im guessing he took out insurance by the price phew.... He did say that he had planned to get me something else but the shop was closed so this was plan B as he was thinking of getting it for my birthday. So I will see what the original present was going to be as it may be just as nice but maybe a little less.I dont want to have got into a panick because he didnt know what to buy me and for hi to spend more then he had originally planned. We are saving to buy a house this year...

OP posts:
BudaBabe · 14/02/2006 08:12

FWIW your DH knew what he was spending. He obv didn't want to get you a cheaper necklace. He wanted you to have something you will have for ever.

I would accept it graciously (liked MyMama's suggestion about wearing it and nothing else later - he'll def feel it was worth it!!!).

But just gently tell him that you love it, didn't expect him to spend so much and to promise not to spend that much on your birthday present. Then he can get you Plan A for your birthday and everyone is happy.

Feeling jealous as I'll get sod all!!!