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Original poster

How do i tell or should i tell dh that his valentines gift is too expensive and he should take it back....

41 replies

mum2sam · 13/02/2006 22:17

Dh gave me my valentines gift early today as he was too excited to wait until 2moro. He had had chosen it himself a little necklace with a cross with diamonds.I had a sneaky look at the receipt and saw he had paid £106 for it. Its a lovely necklace but very delicate not ideal with ds and plus id never guess it was that much and to eb honest I wouuld be happy with a £20 necklace sholud I say something or leave it be. I hate wasting money on something when I could be just as happy as something less. All ive got dh is love vouchers, a pampering set and me all to himself for the night

OP posts:

Enid · 14/02/2006 08:15

accept it graciously!

poor bloke. Whatever you do don't even hint that you don't want it, for whatever reason.

Wear it proudly - that is good manners.

SleepySuzy · 14/02/2006 08:24

Oh my goodness!!! Unless you are really, really poor, accept it with thanks!

My dh is very ill with cancer, we hardly have any money as I only work 19 hrs, and if he did this for me, I would be so pleased. No, we cannot afford it, but as long as the bills are paid, we are fed - what's the problem?

tigermoth · 14/02/2006 08:26

I like budababe's idea. Depending on your finances (you say you are saving for a house deposit) you could suggest the necklace is a joint valentines and birthday present.

My dh has done this sort of thing in the past - in my case it was a Victorian dressing table that he presented me with. Not exactly my taste but I knew how hurt he'd be if I said so.

I hope I have now trained him up to know what I don't want. I have actually taken him to a costume jewellery stall at our local craft market (selling lots of £20.00 necklaces by coincidence!) and told him that whenever he feels the urge to get me a present, this is where he should go!

Piffle · 14/02/2006 08:27

My DP would be crushed if I did that.
Save it for special, look at it when you're feeling a bit low if nothing else, its not just about the wearing of it

ggglimpopo · 14/02/2006 08:30

Message withdrawn

ssd · 14/02/2006 08:45

this makes me feel better, I ripped into dh for spending £10 on a bunch of lillies( which is mad I know).........................he can't win!

KBear · 14/02/2006 08:49

Think of it as his way of telling you how much he loves you and appreciates what you do for him and the family. He will be hurt if you take it back. Wear it and enjoy it definitely.

satine · 14/02/2006 08:56

If you tell him that you don't want it, even for the really sensible and practical reasons you've explained here, you run the risk of a) hurting his feelings and b) making him think "That's the last time I try to buy something nice for her". I'd enjoy wearing it when ds can't pull it off your neck!

blueteddy · 14/02/2006 09:03

Message withdrawn

crunchie · 14/02/2006 09:18

A diamond necklace is not cubic zircona, it is going to be £100 + I doubt you would get any cheaper. It look really pretty.

My dh would be mortified if I tried to exchange a present like that, unless I hated it of course. Please, think of your dh and smile and gush about how lovely it is.

bosscat · 14/02/2006 09:22

I would say keep it and enjoy it. I did however do the exact opposite of this when dh bought me a diamond necklace when ds1 was born. He bought me a platinum one which was lovely and I'm sure everyone will say "lucky girl" but I don't wear platinum at all because it just doesn't suit my skin tone. I wear gold and everything I have is gold. Because I knew it was an expensive gift I asked him if he minded if I exchanged it for a cheaper gold one so I could wear it everyday. I knew it was a bit ungrateful but it really would have just sat in a jewellery box whereas I now wear this.

sorry long post. message is sometimes it isn't rude just sensible.

anniemac · 14/02/2006 10:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

wannaBe1974 · 14/02/2006 12:17

TBH I think that if you tell him that you don't want it and that he should buy you something cheaper then you come across as ungrateful. Your DH has gone out and chosen a piece of jewellery on his own, something that he thought you would like, and he knew how much it cost, and if he thought that you couldn't afford it then he wouldn't have bought it but he obviously thinks that you are worth it. I have lots of jewellery that my DH has bought me, a diamond ear rings and necklace just to name some that he bought me on anniversaries, of his own accord, and no of course I can't wear them every day, but I love having nice jewellery to wear out and I love them, and would never ever dream of turning a present down.

If you tell him that you don't want this necklace, then tbh I don't think you can ever complain if he never buys you a present ever again.

shimmy21 · 14/02/2006 12:23

Pleeeeease keep it Mum2sam. We all want you to! Everyone feels so sorry for the thought of your poor dh being gutted at the rejection of his prized prezzy. Don't reject it, pleeeeese.

But men do just get it so wrong sometimes, don't they

MarsOnLife · 14/02/2006 21:17

So... what did you do in the end?

eidsvold · 15/02/2006 06:27

agree with starlover - if you did not know the price - would you love it/do you love it - keep it and say thank you graciuosly. He has chosen something beautiful for you - enjoy.

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