I hope a man's perspective on this might be appreciated?
"I have suggested that if he is in the mood to suggest something earlier in the evening but he says he doesn't because he doesn't want to be rejected and so it goes on and on and on and on..."
I can't help but feel that's a big part of the problem right there. Of course you feel that it's his problem, not yours, but if it's something you want to solve then you both have to work at it. Do you ever initiate sex, or is it just that sometimes his advances do lead there? If he feels like he gets rejected, then no wonder he doesn't want to do it - how about you suggest something earlier in the evening when you're in the mood (from the sounds of things that's more likely to be the critical factor than him being in the mood - chances are he'll be in the mood almost all the time if you approach it right)? Are you worried that if you do that he'll expect even more sex? In which case you need to calmly point out to him that's not the case, but you thought he might appreciate you making the first move - I don't think I'm at all atypical in that I'd really appreciate it working like that, as it would take the pressure off. I don't know if those women who have lower sex drives than their partners (as appears to be the norm, especially those with children) appreciate that it's not all that nice to feel that the only way to ever get sex is to keep making advances, but get rejected most of the time. One of the ironies of society that men are expected to make the first move, but at least IME men are far less likely to reject women if they make the first move.
For those who might have read my other posts on here I should point out this is all theoretical at the moment, but my situation has led to a lot of soul searching about how these things work. I do also actually really like just having a cuddle, even if more often than not I'd like it to move on to other things - in my current situation it's something I've learned to appreciate. Maybe you just need to readjust your DP's expectations on this - at least make him aware that he'll get just as much sex if he does stop groping you (otherwise there's always likely to be the feeling that if he does do that you'll have less - and whatever you do, if he does start just cuddling you, don't start having less sex as a result!)
"Maybe suggest they wank more or something?"
Just lovely, SardineQueen. Think of some of the phrases which might really put you off a bloke, and that's right up there. In any case, if he has a higher sex drive, chances are he already is.