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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

fxxxxxg aaaaaarrrrrrgggggggggggg!!!!!!

33 replies

prettyfly1 · 13/02/2006 15:45

i am so fecking sick of being treated like a fecking doormat. Since xmas 6 different people have made arrangements to meet or come round and just not bothered showing up, calling or even apologising when i see them in the bloody street a couple of days later. Now, in the last two days both my sister, and now my mum, who listened to me rant about my sister last night have done the same thing. fine if i am not worth even a bloody call to these people and they have little respect or care for me and my time why cant they just not agree or suggest a meet. why be so fucking rude - do people have any idea of how hurtful it is and how stupid i have started to feel that i even bother to invite people round any more.

sorry for rant. just not pleased.

OP posts:
Original poster
prettyfly1 · 13/02/2006 15:47

ps sorry for dreadful language

OP posts:
mumatuks · 13/02/2006 15:50

unfortunately not everyone has your courtesy.. Did your mum and sister have a genuine reason?

However, carry on as you are and treat people as you'd want to be treat!

Original poster
prettyfly1 · 13/02/2006 15:55

i jsut wont embarass myself by asking people anymore. i feel like a bit of a prat for ever bothering now. i always treat people with respect. as far as i am concerned manners cost nothing. no they just forgot apparently. well forgetting has cost me a fortune in wasted food and time. sorry again. just so damned hurt and embarrassed.

OP posts:
mumfor1standfinaltime · 13/02/2006 15:55

Know how you feel, this happened to me just the other day. My SIL was supposed to pop round to collect something, and she didnt show up. She does this all the time, so should have seen it coming - once she said, oh Ill be round at half 7, she turns up at twenty to 9!
It really bugs me that they dont call or text.

Original poster
prettyfly1 · 13/02/2006 15:57

no sodding respect. now multiply that by everyone you know. i am just so fecking lonely. i love my son but i go to work at a job i hate all day,come home and since i had my son, noone bothers anymore. nad the worst of it is there is noone around to help out for me to go meet people. how pathetic am i.

OP posts:
mumfor1standfinaltime · 13/02/2006 15:57

Know what you mean about costing money too. I spent lots of money and time doing a spread for boxing day a few years ago, and people turned up late, some eating McDonalds, and they left me with loads of food I couldnt eat.

mumatuks · 13/02/2006 15:58

you're not pathetic.. thats anger and resentment talking. I was just admiring you for working and being a mum! they're both full time jobs, and ones unpaid!

Original poster
prettyfly1 · 13/02/2006 15:58

why do people do that. its just so rude.

OP posts:
mumatuks · 13/02/2006 16:00

It is rude, you're right. Just be proud that you're not like that, and you'r kids will grow up polite too.

mumfor1standfinaltime · 13/02/2006 16:00

prettyfly, You sound just like me! I feel that since I've had ds that days can be lonely. I try to organise things with people and they cant always be bothered or cancel, dont show up. Often feel that I do all the organising.

mumatuks · 13/02/2006 16:01

where are you prettyfly? (roughly if you don't want to give away too much)

Original poster
prettyfly1 · 13/02/2006 16:01

it wouldnt be that hard if there was jstu someone to talk to. i go home alone every night and there is jsut noone. i see my baby for roughly five hours during the week when i bath him and put him to bed and then its just me. i just remember my family and friends going on and on about how much support i would have and how i neednt worry about losing my whole life when my son was born and it was all lies. every damned word of it was crap.

OP posts:
mumatuks · 13/02/2006 16:02

and you MF1FT..

Original poster
prettyfly1 · 13/02/2006 16:02

mumfor1st, that is exactly what its like. i am in herts.

OP posts:
mumatuks · 13/02/2006 16:04

Well ,depending where you are in Herts, I'm not too far away in Essex and I would meet up with you! I know about all that stuff you hear about "Family Support" I haven't had any from the inlaws, and my family are miles away.

Original poster
prettyfly1 · 13/02/2006 16:05

i am in hatfield. families are crap. officialy

OP posts:
mumatuks · 13/02/2006 16:06

agreed!

mumfor1standfinaltime · 13/02/2006 16:10

I am in Norfolk. I have friends, but none with babies. I work part-time, very early starts - 6am.
These are the only hours I can work, as I dont earn enough to pay for a sitter.
I spend my time on internet ,selling on ebay, Mn, and v isiting the library.
Did go to a local mum and tot group but cant go anymore as Ds is 13m and they have to stop when they are 12m. Cant face finding another one!
Didnt like the one I was going to much anyway!
Hopefully with the Summer approaching I will feel like doing more.

Original poster
prettyfly1 · 13/02/2006 16:15

ah mum for 1st. i feel the same way a lot of the time. i haev to say tho, i forced myself out to do stuff this weekend and we had a really good time. just a shame its always me and me alone. oh well my son loves me.

OP posts:
mumatuks · 13/02/2006 16:18

Shame you're in Norfolk (far away thing) I found when I took DS1 to a mum and baby group that it was really cliquey (sp?) and they didn't talk to you. That was fun! I mean whats the point if they're not going to let you in to their little group? I thought it was all about making friends!

Summer will make everything easier, the days can be long!

BTW how do you start work at 6?!

mumfor1standfinaltime · 13/02/2006 16:19

I think all Mums have days where they dont want to do anything. Some days I think 'No, I am going to go out today, and do something different and a break from the old routine'
I take it you are a single Mum? I have a dh, but he works full time and he goes out with mates and football practise etc in the week, so I also get lonely in the evenings when he is out. I try to get my friends to pop over to keep me company, but they dont always want to 'sit in'.
I also try to organise regular 'girly' nights out.

Mascaraohara · 13/02/2006 16:22

Hi PrettyFly I sometimes feel like you! It's a PITA isn't it, I always make sure I'm on time for everything and so people just don't... well... care.

Are you a lone parent? or do you have a dp that's just not really that bothered? sorry if I've missed that bit.

mumatuks · 13/02/2006 16:22

I didn't want to go out today, so we did painting! I forgot how much fun it was! (and the mess!)

mumfor1standfinaltime · 13/02/2006 16:22

Mumatuks - I get up at 5am, then walk 2 miles to work! I do enjoy my job. My dh looks after ds, I leave off at 9am. Dh waits outside in the car for me, then we 'swap seats' and I drive home!

Mascaraohara · 13/02/2006 16:22

'some' people just don't... (sorry)