Revenge

[Annielove]

Need some quick words of wisdom. Feeling pure rage towards the women who slept with my husband after pretending to be my friend. He has left so has suffered by losing his children's respect and has very little contact with them. He says he is no longer seeing her but i really want to hurt her in someway..i know my anger should be directed at him but what do i do about these feelings of wanting to smash her smug face in have revenge???

Never, ever do anything motivated by spite or revenge..that's it, the end. That said..sorry to hear about your low life bastard of a husband and 'friend'. Big hugs and big respect to you.

think again, love

I am sorry for your trouble, but this is not a good idea

entertain thoughts of revenge by all means, but don't act on any of it

aniie karma always repays back...dont ever try and attempt it yourself..she will get her comeuppence one day

hugs sweetheart x

I am in a similar situation, and frequently catch myself plotting wishing for revenge. But at the end of the day, I try to remember that a) he's more of a knob than she is for breaking vows. b) she has made her bed, and if she's lying in it with a cheating, child abandoning dickhead, then she's welcome to him. c) revenge only means I'll feel guilty and ashamed whereas right now I occupy the moral high ground and can sleep at night.

As hard as it is to do (and believe me, I know it is) try not to sit on negative obsessive thoughts any longer than necessary. When they pop into your head, acknowledge them, as in yep, I feel totally furious and shit right now then let them go and focus on something better. Like, thank god I'm rid of the sack of shit bloke she has to shag now. I am so glad I'm not the one being lied to/taken advantage of/insert your own thing to be grateful for here

It takes practice. But the smug feeling satisfaction that comes from knowing you are a better person than both of them does eventually become worth it.

Oh, and get lots of wine and a sympathetic friend you can bawl/rant/punch a pillow with. Or stick pins in a photo of his head.

I know your right, i am a very peace loving person and i don't condone any sort of violence but why are some people just fuckin horrible ????? Are they really that nasty that they don't care about their actions, do they have no feelings??? She works in the local Supermarket, so i don't go in there anymore because i'm worried i might chuck something at her . I'm trying to stay calm and rise above it all .

Well she has hardly scored herself a catch has she and if it is over she has lost you as a friend

Aim for pity and relief that this pair of lowlifes are out of your life.

Write a big long, sweary letter telling her exactly what you think of her & detailing all the horrible curses you can think of. Spend time over it getting the wording right... especially the swear-words. Then rip it to shreds and put it on the fire. Highly cathartic...

Some people are indeed shits who have no care for others.

Better to have toxic waste like that out of your life.

Well, just remember that many acts of active revenge constitute harrassment under the law, and if you carried through YOU would be the one on the wrong side of it, not her.

Unfair, but true.

Thank you ladies i feel calmer already. xx I already have a picture of my husband with an arrow drawn through his head. It does help every time i look at it :)

Yup..some people do seem to be really horrible. I am sure they will be plagued with painful piles, persistent yeast infections , foul wind and mouthwateringly bad breath in years to come..that's only fair . You, however, are lovely and lots of nice things will happen to you eventually to make up for this so you'll one day look back and think 'thank goodness Mr Cabbage bum and Miss flappy labia are out of my life, else I would never have........(fill in the dots with your own dream )

glad your feeling a little bit better

just know that one day they'll get whats coming to them. dont take the low road. looking back on it all you'll feel so much better about yourself knowing that you didnt stoop to their level.

that being said theres no harm in a bit of fantasy revenge

Mrsmuppet i think Mr cabbage bum was a bit too nice ha ha. He has got a hairy back and really white skin and she has a really dodgy haircut so i'm sure i will be able to come up with something. Deep breaths feel much calmer now, sometimes it just creeps up on you and you don't know what to do with these emotions :(

What Chocoraisin said.

Occupy the moral high ground at all times. Dont lower yourself to her level.

What goes around comes around, she will get her just deserts in the end.

I am waiting with glee to see what happens to the OW in my divorce but she has him to herself now and thats punishment enough, once the thrill of the capture wears off.

or even desserts!

come onto MN and have a rant when the feeling obvertakes you again

Agree 400% with chocoraisin!!

Also what he is doesn't bear repeating lest it strip the bark from the trees but what kind of insecure, pathetic, bitch of a woman is she? Now he who shall be struck by ball cramp has proven himself to be worth being rid of however what is wrong with her that she can't find anyone other than a married man. She is so fundamentally wrong she had to have what you had because she is incapable of getting that legitimately herself?

If he was mine he'd pay in every complicated, expensive way my lawyer could find. But her - quite frankly I think she's cursed enough to be nothing but pitied - and really just imagine that smug little smirk just melting off her face when he a) realises he's made a huuuuge mistake and pines after you b) fucks off and leaves her for another woman - won't be so fucking pleased with herself then will she?!

Do excuse me....I'm not at all projecting. Really, I got to see that look and by gum I'll tell you it was worth every quelled blood lust to watch her face try to crawl inside her head....and then? No shoulder to cry on because her 'friends' all left with her self respect and they carted off their menfolk safe into the sunset. It's a miserable life being a terrible person - shame eh?!

I like your style, Nic

Thank you all, i'm off for a big bubbly bath now and am going to try and focus on he future not the past which too be honest i can do nothing about !!! I might jump up and down on a cushion first though

One thought murder a day keeps you healthy.

Living well is the best revenge

Personally I'd rise above it (easier said than done I know) go about your normal business, go to the supermarket smile at her she'll feel a complete twat

Also karma will get revenge for you don't stoop to the level of your cheating ex husband and so called friend

Nic you are spot on about her, she had actually tried it on with a couple of other men in relationships before ensnaring my weak husband with pictures of her 'bits' sorry yukky but true!! I did happen to mention this to a few people ha ha so i think her self respect may be a little dented but i don't think she had any to begin with !!!

Oh I understand, I really do. Hate the bitch all you like. But do not give her any power over you
Do not contact her, do not show her how much she hurt you. It will feed her ego. Treat her as the insignificant little twat that she is. Pity her for being such a dickhead. Play out scenarios in your head in which you accost her and tell her everything you want to, humiliate her in front of her friends, but do not actually do it...
I wrote a letter to her and posted it on here. Mners are fab. It was extremely cathartic, and helped me let go of a lot of my anger, without lowering myself in her eyes.

Imagine how unsettled she would be if you were civil.............

Living well and being happy is the best revenge.