Think i have been dumped, what is the best way to deal with this.

[springblumen]

Been seeing someone for about 6 months. Quite serious, not seeing anyone else, either of us apparently.

This past week, he has stopped ringing and texting, only send a text occasionally, he works away so this is our main form of communication. He is not answering his phone.

I get the distinct impression I am being phased out! So would you make him tell you and "have the awkward conversation" or just fade away and let him take his cowardly way out?

I am inclined to make him tell me. I think after 6 months I should get an explanation, by friend says keep my dignity. But im not sure what is dignified about being dropped without any kind of explanation. Any opinions please.

Keep calm, he might just be busy. See how next week goes, then make a decision.

I'd get in touch, say something like 'Haven't heard from you much. Starting to think you're avoiding me. Is there a problem?' You'll either get a yes, no or some big blathering excuse for an answer. Take it from there but if he is trying to dump you, don't ask for explanations... they're never truthful

Ahhhh... the joys of mobile phone technology. A coward's dream! Personally I would not make any further contact and see what happens. Dont buy into the 'busy' excuse reason either. It takes less than a minute to fire off a text. Keep your dignity and sit tight.

I would have to confront him too, ask him straight. I would expect to be treated with respect, nothing less!

Ok, well I sent a message saying "you don't seem to be replying to my texts, is all ok?" Sent it about 10 minutes ago, so we shall see, I imagine he is sweating at the other end trying to decide how to tell me. Oh and I know he is alive and well because he has updated the arena of hell that is FB!

As for being busy, at his very busiest he has always managed to call or text previously. Somethings up thats for sure.

Best to arrange to meet him and have a chat then. Phone isn't the best place for an independent discussion, unless you feel the same.

In depth not independent...

if you are fretting, probably your instincts telling you something - long gaps in communication not a good sign IME. its the first time though? so lets see, as you say.

Can't arrange to meet him if he won't answer my texts or calls. God I don't know why I bothered. I was happy on my own with my dc without a bloke around. As soon as you let someone in it all goes wrong imvho!

Yes something definitely feels wrong. The messages I had last week were short as well, not at all chatty like they had been.

Pity about FB. Would have been far more exciting if he was in a coma or staggering about with amnesia somewhere. :) Oh well. Plenty more fish in the sea?

wouldn't it just Cogito well thanks for putting a smile on my face anyway.

You know what though, I don't think I am going to bother with any more fish. I was on my own for two years after I split with ex H and couldn't have been happier. No stress, contentment in small things. I would be all excited all day because I had 3 x episodes of Mad Men saved up on Sky plus! Now its all stress and waiting for the next text message blah, blah, blah.

Yep just been dumped, by text. He put Please Don't Hate Me at the end of it.

At least he replied quickly once asked directly.

Oh God this feels HORRIBLE id forgotten.

oh no :(

did he say why?

what a coward.

That is so pathetically unoriginal apart from anything else. Tempting to reply... 'I would hate you but I can't be bothered'...... but far better to leave him twisting slowly in the wind, farting ever so slightly.

Oh grrr. Stupid cowardly man! This isn't school any more, FFS - if you're breaking up with someone then you tell them, don't make them chase you to find it out. You haven't lost dignity, he has!

and light-hearted DVDs and lots of being nice to yourself. I hope it stops feeling shit as quickly as these things can.

Sorry.... it is horrible, you're right. Got any handy?

He didn't want to carry on with it, he enjoyed spending time with me but didn't think it was fair on ME to carry on with it any longer, ending with the Please don't hate me and a little x Oh and he apologised for doing it by text. I felt like texting "so why did you then?" but I won't.

This feels bloody awful.

I won't reply.

@springblumen - nothing to add really but total sympathy as am in same situation myself - though at least mine had the balls to come round (on Friday) and tell me it was over to my face. It is horrible and like you, I'd forgotten how horrible). Lots of (()) and sympathy from a fellow dumpee ....

I know its crap for you Mzdemeanour but I find having someone in almost exactly the same boat very comforting. Thanks for telling me.

That sounds very much like the 'you deserve better' speech when they've already planned to move on. Very cowardly behaviour and I'm so, so sorry. I've been there once in that I was phased out with little explanation and later on I realised he wasn't worth it.

Spend some time looking after you - wine, paint your nails, hair done, pampering, comfort food whatever. He just wasnt worth it, and I'm sorry you found out the hard way