Need Sage Advice (and probably a slap)

[WarriorQueen]

Hello ladies

Not been on here for a while but was hoping someone could give me some perspective.

2 years ago exH went away for a lads holiday and came back having an affair (he met someone out there), we broke up. I was with him since I was sixteen (14 years)

I have a lovely DP now ... but he is going away this weekend on a stag night ... I am freaking out. I am scared and its bringing back horrid memories. I can feel myself moving away from him in anticipation of what happened with exH happening all over again. I am having horrible fantasies in the day of him getting up to all sorts and making plans about leaving him if he does get up to anything.

I am driving myself mad with it. DP is not the sort that goes out lots (hardly ever in fact) and this is the first time that he has been away without me in 12 months.

So I guess I just need a bit of advice.

he has not stopped texting me and he also called on saturday so he has stuck to his word.

i will try not to interrogate ask too many questions. (might have to sellotape my mouth shut!!!)

OP, try not to get too worked up re the strip club thing. It they did go to that sort of venue I imagine there might have been a few in a group who might have had a lap dance but not all guys do. Knowing how you felt, if he did go into one of these places he probably stayed at the bar with other guys who were equally uninterested.

I know how you feel because I have been in a similar situation myself. Lack of trust can be so destructive. Keep communicating with him and I'm sure you'll work through it together.

he knows that clubs like that are actually a deal breaker for me so I am hoping that if that came up be would have made his excuses and left. He promised that he would not step foot in one.

One thing for sure is that I know that I have to get this sorted out ,its shit for me.. so it must be crappy for him too.