My youngest (5) does a lot of this sort of behaviour (and the 2nd one too, in a different way). I think it's "attention seeking", and to be honest, the solution is to give attention before it gets to this stage. So, maybe your coming home from work routine needs to include a 5 minute cuddle and discuss the day before you get on with doing the dinner? Or read a story? Or whatever works for you. Might help you relax too?
Another thought that springs to mind. If you don't start relaxing until you've showered, would it help to bring that forward in your schedule? Shower before dinner? dd too if you like?
Routine, routine, routine, really helps with my littlest, and visual timetable is great for that, as someone else suggested. You could do this for evening time too? We use this to deal with dh being away with work too, crossing off calendar days. I wonder if your dh is on shifts, would this help too?
Still, it goes wrong sometimes, and again I've realised that giving her a wee bit of attention will usually do more good than shouting, and saves time, and I feel better too. For example, dd is not good at falling asleep, never has been, but she has really come on and I think we've done well with her compared to the night at 2.5yrs when we put her back to bed 31 times by 9pm - she stays in bed but takes about 30mins to actually drop off - and now, she occasionally comes downstairs when she's meant to be falling asleep... I used to get annoyed, frustrated and shouty, but now I calmly tell her she should be asleep, give her a cuddle and smile and send her back up, and she goes, no bother, doesn't come down again. Same result as if I shouted, but her last memories of me that night are pleasant.
About charts... don't forget that you won't need it forever. After a couple of weeks at most, the behaviour has usually improved, and you naturally forget to use it and move on, it's not for life. Keep it simple and specific for best results. If you're not keen on charts would marbles/stones in a jar work for you? Transfer from one to other for good behaviours/difficult behaviours?