Stitch,
Re your comments:-
i have no intention of leaving him, because
he is the father of my kids
(okay but what are you teaching them about relationships if you continue to live with his controlling behaviours).
I love him (oh stitch that old chestnut!. But does he love you?. He wants to keep you in a gilded cage of his own making).
he is a good provider/payer of bills
(I would argue the "good provider" bit. Sorry but he makes you send clothes back that does not meet with his approval and withholds funds).
he loves the kids
(I do not doubt that for an instant but your children perhaps sense that you are unhappy. Controlling men are angry and take out their rage on their partners).
even if i did leave him, id never be rid of him.
(you would not know until you tried but would certainly not up sticks and go without a detailed plan to leave in place first. You need emotional support. From what you write here he does sound very controlling of you).
he'd still be able to hurt me so might as well let him pay the bills meanwhile.
(this is all terribly sad in my view, you could potentially spend the rest of your life like this and after all you're a long time dead!). I don't know how old you are but you could be spending the next 40/50 odd years like this. How does that sound?.
There is always a way out. Women have managed to leave controlling relationships before now.