Please can someone hold my hand?

[totallymessedupp]

I posted before re:my dp and his behaviour (sorry I can't do links).
I need to leave him. Its over. I can't take it anymore. Please help me to be strong. I am sat here in tears, I have to admit we are over. I have failed to be good enough.
Thanks

I'll hold your hand.

I don't know the backstory but I doubt it's anything to do with you not being 'good enough'.

Thanks. I am preparing myself to tell him. I just keep looking at my babies and feeling awful.

As I very much doubt that you've 'failed to be good enough', I suspect that this is a case of him failing you because he's an inadequate twat.

What will it take for you to end this relationship? Do you have dc, is your name on the mortgage/tenancy of your home, and do you have friends and/or family members living nearby?

We have 2 dc, 2 yrs and 14wks. I have friends and family nearby. Flat is rented in his name but I have somewhere to go. I am just trying to be strong and go through with it. I need to because I can't just keep on with this anymore. I just feel awful for splitting my famliy up, which makes me stay that bit longer. Need to be strong and say no more.

I am also sure you have "failed" in any way.
Well done for posting. Recognising that you need to leave is a huge step forward.
You are strong and you can do this.
Keep posting,there is a better future out there for you.

I am crying but I realise it is not for him. It is the sadness of not succeeding in my relationship. Sadness for my dc. And shame that it has come to this and what I have become.

It takes two to hold a family together. If you are miserable and he is contributing to that,causing by by his behaviour,or failing to engage in working to make it better,then you are taking steps towards a healthier future for your family.

I know I should be strong and I am not entirely to blame. But looking at my sleeping baby is ripping my heart apart. Life is so unfair.

I need to get a grip and stop crying. i don't want him to think I am weak.

Thankyou Leverette.

Oh totally, I remember that feeling of failure only too well

But you haven't failed - you have done your best to keep your family together and make the marriage work. You can walk away with your head held high - knowing you tried everything (and you tried much harder than he did).

You will be fine. Your children will be fine. You're in a stronger position than most in that you have friends and family and somewhere to go. You and your babies have a happy life to look forward to. You know this is best for you and them x

(((((((((HUG)))))))))
nothing else to add really, but be strong and you will survive xxxx

Its so hard though. I don't want to be stuck in this life forever but the actual act of leaving is so hard. Its what I need to do but the actual doing it is making me wobble. I have to do this, I know my dc will be fine and in fact probably happier but the guilt is overwhelming.

Leverette, after my previous post I spoke to him again. he declared he was doing nothing wrong. I have just discovered evidence of his online affair and details of them attempting to meet up. I can't be a doormat to him anymore. I kept looking at the unanimous "Leave him" and started to think maybe I wasn't the one totally in the wrong etc. So now I must be strong and confront him. Can't stop crying though, which is making feel weak and pathetic.

Sorry, my posts are a bit jumbled up as my thoughts are going round my head and I just keep spilling them out on here.

Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with some men?

You have done nothing wrong and do not deserve this shit. Your children will thank you for it.

I wish you all the luck in the world. x

Stay strong babe..... You are not weak and pathetic.... You sounds like you've been pretty darn amazing to put up with this man... Be strong for you and be strong for your babies. Huge hug....xxxx You can do it!!! xxxx
Do you want the best for your babies? Be strong for them. xxxx

Thanks everyone. I'm gonna go feed my little one and dry my tears. Then I'm going to tell him.

You go girl! xx

Deep breaths. If you feel tears coming, distract yourself by pushing your fingernails into your hand (old mn advice). If you do cry, it doesn't matter in the great scheme of things.

Take your time. Stay as calm and detached as possible. Don't get led into arguments or explanations. Your mind is made up.

It will be better out the other side...we'll hold your hand.

Like Leverette I also don't think you have to confront him if you are feeling like this. Take some time if you need it. Even write it down.

I read your thread and you do deserve better and he does not deserve you. You have not failed...if only one of you is rowing the boat will only go in circles, he wasn't up to the challenge of loving you back. Maybe one day he might realise. You have 2 beautiful children, you are doing what is right for them too.

wishing you much strength
xxfool

You're never going to succeed in a relationship with a man like him - and nor will any other woman.

Dry your tears and start packing, honey, - you're on your way to a much happier life for you and your dc.