Please can someone hold my hand?

[totallymessedupp]

I posted before re:my dp and his behaviour (sorry I can't do links).
I need to leave him. Its over. I can't take it anymore. Please help me to be strong. I am sat here in tears, I have to admit we are over. I have failed to be good enough.
Thanks

A failure? Quite the opposite my dear, I take my hat off to you for having the courage and REAL foresight to truly put your babies first and bring this to an end. Well done.

Would you expect a shopkeeper who had been burgled to sob and say 'it's my fault - I failed at not getting burgled'?

No of course not. You know that deep down - you know that all the selfish, destructive, unpleasant acts this man has undertaken come from him and him alone. I bet you can't even imagine being such a horrible person as to steal savings from your partner and baby.

When things can technically limp along, it's hard to say enough is enough and stand firm. So many people stay trapped. But you know what kind of a father he will make. You know he will continue to be unfaithful as well as untrustworthy and thieving and that there will be no chance of a happy childhood for your babies where you are. You know he will ruin your family and drag you all down with him.

Well done, you are brave.

Good for you! If you are going to confront him are you sure you are safe. I know you don't mention violence, just got me worried.

I've nothing to add - except you are strong and courageous. I'm there with you x

Some excellent advice here, totally. I have been umming and arring for some weeks - maybe years - and last night it all stopped. Bang. Decision made. Yes, we have some challenging times ahead but my mind is now free of the constant worry about his lying. He's not mine anymore, so i can allow myself not to care, iyswim. He can be someone else's nightmare and I genuinely feel sorry for them.

Onwards, upwards. Looking forward to the future.

Xx

Another hand here. Hope you're okay xxx

Hi, thanks for the hand holding. Thought I would update you all.
I have told him I don't want him anymore - he has tried the denial route and then when presented with evidence tried the "I won't do it again, I'm sorry blah, blah, blah", whilst trying to lie further (I did not show all my evidence at once so caught him out). That just confirmed to me that he intended to carry on as before and fob me off with lies etc.
At the moment he is still asking forgiveness etc but I am standing strong and saying enough is enough. I have told him to transfer the flat into my name (I pay the rent anyway and he can't afford it) and find somewhere else to live. I think he is really in a panic, I will not give in this time.
Thanks again xx

Good for you. Stay strong and focus on your babies. They will respect your actions when they are old enough to understand.

From what you've said, I think you'll be miles happier and calmer without him in your life which as to be a good thing - for you and your DCs.

Keep us updated :) x

What's all this talk of failure?

Ending a relationship when one partner is so deeply inadequate is not a failure: it is an achievement to be proud of.

He's given you no choice really. Either stay and be shat on or leave. He's never going to change.

Good for you for making the decision.