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Relationships

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Original poster

Not serious red flags, but signs a partner was not the one for you.

50 replies

OhBuggerandArse · 16/04/2012 22:35

Was going to put this in the 'red flags' thread, but that is serious, and probably important.

This isn't really - but it was a sign I should have taken notice of earlier.

Obsessive collection of a) Star Wars figures, and b) vests: he turned out to be a) an eternal kid, and b) gay. Lovely guy though, and we split very amicably.

Anyone else had similar moments of blindness in past relationships?

OP posts:
JoyceDivision · 16/04/2012 22:40

I was young and naive. He told me he lost his virginity to a prostitute, apid for by blokes he worked with as his 'manning up'. He wanted his stag do whenever he got married to be 'the full works, strippers, the lot" and when he got married he would be at the football on a weeknd while the wife looed after the kids on got sunday lunch on.

Luckily, it was very short lived. I think he was trying toshow off and shock me, and I think I wa strying to show off and not bat an eyelid at his oh so shocking revelations.

He was, and I suspect still is, a total knobber Grin

realhousewifeofdevoncounty · 16/04/2012 22:44

I had an exp who was continually sending texts intended for his mum, to me! Hope it wasn't the other way round! For example, I once received "thanks mum for picking up that bottle of champagne for real, she loved it!" Was all too weird and happened frequently. Hence he is an ex!

trikken · 16/04/2012 22:45

His motto was 'mates before dates', and it always was, looking back.

MooncupGoddess · 16/04/2012 22:48

Slightly over-obsessed with his chums from public school (which he'd left 12 years earlier!).

Liked to pull my hair during sex Hmm

squeakytoy · 16/04/2012 22:50

Someone who sucked their thumb.... (aged 23) and picked their nose while doing so....... it was grim.

bibbitybobbitybunny · 16/04/2012 22:51

I was with a boyfriend for more than a year who had cut off all ties with all his family by the age of 24. He had been homeless and had lived on friends floors.

He was solvent, successful and good fun to be around by the time I was with him but I just knew there would be issues around his family to unravel later.

Original poster
OhBuggerandArse · 16/04/2012 23:14

oh, I like the freudian-slippage, real. Definite future weird-potential there. I wonder what any of them would have thought if they'd known these were the reasons why we got rid?

OP posts:
jifnotcif · 16/04/2012 23:18

Wow I'm feeling positively grateful after these - but I did actually go out with someone who has since had full monty sex change. I was 13 - we wore the same jeans (Lois) to our dinner date - perhaps that was a gender issue warning sign?

shoegal34 · 17/04/2012 12:24

My ex used to jump off me immediately after he'd 'finished' and practically run to the bathroom then spend aaages in there doing god knows what. He had to go :-|

shoegal34 · 17/04/2012 12:26

Another ex used to apply a thick covering of moisturiser all over his face before bed (like a face mask). He had to go too. Haha!

janelikesjam · 17/04/2012 13:35

Just not staying "in touch" between dates. A bad sign, though not necessarily a massive red flag. Made me feel very unwanted, but I thought it was me. When I "called" him on it, well he didn't want a "relationship". Gut instincts are importan, but sometimes its hard to fully read what the message is.

TeeBee · 17/04/2012 13:52

Had a filthy, filthy sink.
Kept his bedroom in a state of utter chaos and mess.
Had very stained towels - never worked out why.

None of this I could live with.

DawnOfTheDee · 17/04/2012 13:54

Not a flag as such but I always went by the saying "Love is like a fart...if you have to force it it's probably shit". Grin

horsetowater · 21/04/2012 23:48

Grin @ Dawn!

BertieBotts · 21/04/2012 23:57

The guy who used to text me saying "I'm with my girlfriend now, but she's boring me, I might split up with her soon. So, when are you free?"

Unsurprisingly, insisted that we never had a "relationship" but an "open relationship" (I was fine with this at the time as I was young and quite liked getting off with random people Blush) - but then refused to take heed of any of my requests, such as "I don't mind you sleeping with other people when I'm not around, but I DO mind you sleeping with your ex."

Another one - my first ever boyfriend, got together while drunk Blush on our first ever (sober) date, we were waiting for my mum to pick us up and I was kissing him and thinking "This is weird. I can just feel his tongue going around and around and it's like we're both making movements but it's not doing anything." I would open my eyes and he would be there kissing away with this really concentrated expression.

I don't think either of us really knew what we were doing at all TBH...

BertieBotts · 21/04/2012 23:59

Oh and Grin the first time we did oral sex, he said to me "I don't mind if you don't want to, I did it with my ex and I don't like it that much."

Finished and he looked like he'd been hit with a stun-gun and announced "Actually I think I like that very much."

Grin Grin

Gay40 · 22/04/2012 00:27

Mummy issues. Not attractive. Goodbye.

madasa · 22/04/2012 15:14

Had a tissue box cover and called his pants 'undies' Confused

herbaceous · 22/04/2012 15:20

Said he really looked forward to the new financial year, as it meant he could sort out his ISA and other finances.

Always walked two paces behind me.

Asked me where oats came from.

Would drink two pints of water at once, then complain about being bloated. Didn't realise the recommendation was for two pints of water over the whole day.

When I started doubling up on Zantac before seeing him, such was my irritation at his every move, he had to go.

Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 22/04/2012 15:56

Another one with mummy issues. His mother was abusive. :(

He dumped me though. I was madly, madly in love with him. In hindsight it was probably a lucky escape.

HazleNutt · 22/04/2012 16:34

he wanted to spend all holidays camping. Like with a tent, in the middle of nowhere, peeing behind a bush, eating canned food and powdered soups.

Kernowgal · 22/04/2012 17:43

He insisted on listening to Magic FM while we were doing the do (which, incidentally, was not far from being humped by a hippo), then would turn on American Superbike or Dog the Bounty Hunter afterwards. He had sleep apnoea and I never got any kip because I kept thinking he'd died. He would always ask before kissing me, something along the lines of 'shall we have a little kiss?" and it made my flesh creep and totally turned me off.

He was actually a really nice bloke but simply NFM.

BertieBotts · 22/04/2012 17:59

"Shall we have a little kiss" Grin BOAK!

Oh, I'm sorry, it's so mean, but that is hilarious and creepy at the same time!

FreudianSlipper · 22/04/2012 18:04

at 29 he still lived at home with his mum and had never moved out

why why why did i carry on seeing him

Springforward · 22/04/2012 18:27

He felt sorry for himself, all the time, and nothing was ever his fault, ever. He had to go.