Not serious red flags, but signs a partner was not the one for you.

[OhBuggerandArse]

Was going to put this in the 'red flags' thread, but that is serious, and probably important.

This isn't really - but it was a sign I should have taken notice of earlier.

Obsessive collection of a) Star Wars figures, and b) vests: he turned out to be a) an eternal kid, and b) gay. Lovely guy though, and we split very amicably.

Anyone else had similar moments of blindness in past relationships?

these have made me :o

i got chatting to a guy from a dating site and he'd text everyday asking if i was ok and as long as i was ok, he was ok - we had never met! also found out he lived with his mom and dad because "it's cheap, lol" - he was 32 ffs! tried to cease communication after that, took a few days to shake him off!

my twat radar is highly tuned after meeting several guys like the ones you have all posted about!

Obsessions
family issues
general selfishness or thoughtlessness
any poor opinions about other people which were more of a habit
general unresolved issues
a history of infidelity
too keen too soon

I'm still with mine hopefully not much longer.He used to drink alot,have some girl keep phoning him when i was pregnant,had an Emma in his phone book apparently it was his neice Emily who never gets called Emma plus they are different names.God i hate him.Oh and his kisses felt like i was kissing a slobbering dog.

Lucky for me he doesn't kiss me hasnt done for years for that i'm truelly thankful.Sex was crap used to last a few minutes and he had erection problems aswell.I just laugh about it now

Mine are -

1. He went out all the time. Lived life at a much faster pace than I like to. Away 3 weekends out of 5, back early hours of Monday, straight to work - not a second to myself. Lovely man but didn't match moi.

2. He and his family all come from a fairly shitty part of London and all live within a mile or two of each other and probably always will. The family attitude was 'Stay with us, stay close, let's all meet, don't go anywhere!!!' He flew to Oz to meet me and his father said 'Are you looking after my boy????' in this negative, stay at home, don't have any adventures!! sort of way. At first I loved the closeness of the family but then I realised that I would be discouraged from doing anything with my life. Just stay there in grotty London, being the background to their family foreground. No thanks!

Used to say 'oops' in a creepy 'how did that happen?' way once he came

Had the nickname 'The Grinch' at work .. and he was proud of it!!!

My ex husband also collected ANYTHING to do with Star Wars, house was full of the stuff. Wouldn't get a job, prefered to sit on his computer all day. Had Dad issues and made me feel guilty about anything I did wrong.

Really nice bloke though, we are still friends!

One poor sod thought he was a fantastic shag, went on about it all the time, but was crap.

Another emigrated. That was a bad sign.

I was about 15 and seeing this very cool guy - He was in a band, he was 21, he smoked and he was just very very cool

I went round to his one morning, he had been very specific about timings - I was to be there at 9:40 and no earlier - So I get there and he explained his Mum was leaving at 9:30 and he didnt want her to know which made em giggle but nothing more. So we had a great morning - He seemed really sweet, I was swooning at the thought of being a rock bands lead singers girlfriend!

Then it got to 11:30 and he practically picked up my coat to shove me out the door - So I took the hint and off I went, around the corner to catch a bus home - Got to the bus stop and reaslied I'd left my purse - went back and he was welcoming some other young thing into his house - Checked my watch and it was exactly 11:40! I couldn't believe it!!! He was a scoundrel, I got my purse after watching him squirm for a bit, it was very fun!

He tried to tell me it was his sister - Funnily enough he had already told me he was an only child!

I saw him a few years later and we laughed about it - Then he tried to get me into his bed again! He's a massive failure - His band all split and went off to uni and he was left with no job, no qualifications and no girlfriend!

My three exes were all a bit weird. The first was born with a major heart issue that was resolved but meant he always felt a weakling and was madly possessive, over sensitive and pretty sure he came out as gay after we split.

Second was a south African that wanted to be in the marines and liked to throw his weight about. Completely tied to mummy's apron strings and was basically a whole load of bravado and protein shakes.

Third I married for eight years. Heavy stoner, nightly drinker, inability to accept responsibility for anything and another mummy's boy. Hippy like with a love for meditation and some loopy ideas on life in general.

I sure know how to pick them!

I didn't have the courage to post but you've all made me feel a lot better that I'm not the only one...

No qualifications or job prospects, living with Mummy and Daddy at 28, major issues with women (he used to tell me I would be doing the washing up and then go off and play his guitar, criticised any female who dared to have a career etc).

Generally mimicked all opinions of his loser father and desperately protested when I talked about uni. Oh, and he loved Star Wars. In retrospect that should have been my first and last warning.

I think Star Wars is beginning to emerge as a potential common factor. That and the mummy issues.

Can we all tell our daughters and single friends? Star Wars? Uh oh....

After I broke up with one long-term boyfirend, I realised I should have run for the hills years earlier when he talked me out of buying a pair of silver shoes that I really wanted .

He also adored his truly, truly hideous Hyacinth Bucket of a mother, who used to bang on constantly about how superior her family was even though they were painfully naff. Some of her most memorable gems were stories about:

How she'd one day seen her husband hoovering the floor during a period when he was unemployed, and it was so sad that it made her burst into tears.

How she overheard someone saying that they were glad to be back at work after maternity leave and she thought that was 'appalling'.

How society should stop this 'dreadful' business of telling women they could have careers like firefighters or armed forces personnel as they'd 'just never be as good at it as men'.

She sent her 3 sons to Winchester and Marlborough and her daughter to the local school.

She also used to get hysterical about her husbands parents spending any money at all, as 'That's our inheritance! We need it!'

God, thinking back she was one of the most awful people I've ever met. What the hell was I doing? Lucky escape there!

I'm getting scared now!.....been with DP for just under a year and he loves star wars...and star trek!

I'm sure he's a keeper though.....

My XDP, kept going to the pharmacy when we first started seeing each other, and I mean every day. He would come back with teeny tiny pupils and would just shrug and smile sweetly when I mentioned it. Turned out he was a recovering heroin addict going for his script and 10 years later is psychotic through crack use.

It took me 7 years but my god did I run fast when reality hit!

We actually completed a star trek jigsaw together....then framed it and hung it in the office!

brightyoungthing don't even get me started on the Star trek think! How many times did I have to watch ALL of those shows and the ships all over the house. He is now in some sort of fan club/socal meet up group, they have ranks and everything! It made him very happy though and I totally trusted him but I couldn't spend forever with someone who could bearly live on this planet.

Good luck to you though

He would say: 'Fancy a bit of naughtiness?'

I though that meant eating half a packet of chocolate biscuits. He meant sex.

Apart from that he was fine but gradually became bossier and more controlling. I realised I'd had enough when I had written an article for a magazine and for various reasons it didn't get through. I rang him up and asked him to resend it from my computer. Just send it. Not to DO anything to it. Send it. Couldn't have been clearer.

I discovered that he had opened the document and written in bold letters at the bottom: COPYWRITE FRIZZ

a) I'd sold first edition copyright to the magazine.
b) He SPELLED copyright wrongly.

The.End.

I met Dr Red Flag (yep, a Doctor) and decided to run away to Thailand with him for a holiday. Embarrassingly, this is recent.

As soon as we arrived it became very clear, very quickly, that despite being a lot of fun and unbelievably good in bed, he was not as clean living as he'd made out...he wanted to smoke (normal fags and weed) the whole time, never having done so at all in the 3 months of dating prior to that. And never having mentioned it.

I don't smoke. Never have. Fine with it as long as it isn't all the time...

After he'd smoked he just wanted to lie on the beach, comatose, for hours. In Thailand!

Boring. He had to go. Unfortunately the sex kept me hooked for a little bit...oops.

One had a real OCD issue about leaving water splashes in the bath and was 'scared' of cheese and dairy products?!

ExH told me he was too busy at work to pick me up after I had an op for cervical cancer. His advice? Get a taxi. Needless to say we weren't married for long after!

One had his kitchen covered in posters from bike magazines with naked woman draped over the bikes - some were wearing leather jackets to be fair.

One insisted that he shower immediately after sex as it was dirty.

One kept bragging about his previous sex life with his 'gorgeous' ex girlfriends.

One had very long ear hair - yuck.

First night with someone and in the morning he kept squeezing farts out and said it was he did every morning and when I was in his bathroom the bath was covered in pubes.

Another guy I'd been seeing secretly, as we were both part of a big group of friends. Out for the night with everyone and gobsmacked to see him snogging someone else. He forgot I was there!

One ex refused to go down on me, never gave me an orgasm in the 6 months we were together. Recently he came out as gay.

I went out with a bloke who told me he liked writing poetry then showed me these dreadful 'sexy' poems and limericks he'd written about me before we had even gone beyond a bit of a fumble. Needless to say after that I was put off going any further...

1. (Was very young, teens). I asked him not to compete in the same class as me at a competition. He did anyway (and won, and was proud).

1. Was obsessed with the idea that I was going to cheat on him -> reason for his possessive behaviour. Guess which one of us turned out to be the cheat?

Doing a comedy knock on my door whenever he visited...rat-tat-a-tat-tat-TAT-TAT! I know it's ridiculous but it used to make my teeth itch and didn't start the visit off on a good footing!

Would get a coughing fit immediately after he came and wouldn't cover his mouth so I'd get sprayed with phlegm. Blee.

An ex required nipple-twiddling in order to get any sexual satisfaction.
He was known as "Radio Kevin"