Swinging!

[Blondeinlondon]

Swinging - this topic came up recently in conversation with some friends, one of whom participates in this
Now pre-marriage and child I thought it was perfectly okay etc but now I think I disapprove!

What does the mumsnet jury think?

Is swinging socially acceptable? For everyone? For the childless? What if you are married and your kids find out about it?

It was. And omg that Comic Strip thing was dreadful. We watched all the way to the end, I think we were paralysed by the horror.

But the pampas grass myth predates the Comic Strip thing.

I'm glad you thought it was bad too, achingly so, so that I couldn't actually reach for the remote

I wonder where it did come from?

kleggie.

A friend of ours is into this and he goes to naked nightclubs. Can't think of anything worse . Can you imagine all that flesh and other bits jumping about when the men are dancing (usually badly!).

The vast majority of us aren't particularly attractive naked, lets be honest.

lmao kleggie

And at that sb!!

Oh dear, sb, naked nightclub does sound grim. At least the lights would be fairly dim? Still, gah.

[shudder]

For me, swapping just shows lack of , love, loyalty and respect from a partner. I wouldn't like to see somebody I love make love to somebody else. It would hurt too much. In addition, I COULDN'T DO IT JUST FOR THE SAKE OF HAVING SEX!! I wouldn't have done it if I was single but now in a marriage, if husband proposed, I might end up divorcing him!!

The pampas grass myth has got to be an attack on respectable suburban values in the 70s, no? All those neat little gardens and frilly nets. Imagine the householders' revulsion to hear that they have an advert for free love on their front lawn. A cruel prank I think. But an inspired one...
John Updike manages to convey the wretchedness of open relationships very convincingly in Couples. And as for that horrendous scene in The Ice Storm

there is a couple in my village who have regular swingers parties, they have children at the primary school, i cant look them in the eye when i see them

Kleggie does it really??

We've got pampas grass in our garden that was there before we moved in

am psml laughing now because the family who lived here before me were evangelists. The bloke was actually the local evangelist preacher he he

Ok so eveyone is entitled to thier opinion and that doesn bother me in the slightest.

I am speaking as a woman of experiance....Me and dp, not totally swingers, as swingers are couples who sleep with other couples in most peoples eyes.
However I am bisexual and dp is (very) straight we as a cpl are more into 3sums and i have also slept with another woman alone.

Before you all think its disgracful/disgusting and think that mine and dps relationship cant be very loving, let me just say that we have been together 10 years, yes we are not married but we do have a son and another on the way. Ds does not know and it has never affected him in any way.

Dp and i love each other so much that we trust each other and can be completley open with each other sexually which is why it works for us.
i find that i never get jelous and niether does he infact it have made us closer as a cpl and our sex life is amazing alone aswell as with an extra pair of hands

oh also we didn't start this til after we had ds.

PMSL!! I have a friend whose parents house is called Pampas Cottage!! OMG

Haha on the subject though.. don't mind people experimenting, wouldn't hold it against anyone (so to speak..) but swinging isn't really my scene.. couldnt watch someone i love being with someone else like that.. nor could i do it... just seems wrong 2 me.

We've got pampas grass in our front garden..! What must the neighbours think? (other than the thoughts they have about us already??!)

dottydot-they are thinking, there live the swingers!!

right - am worried now - my parents live in brighton (see Spidermama post) AND I distinctly remember them having a pampas grass in the front garden when I was a child - do you think they were up to something I didn't know about . Will have to ask them !!

we had pampas in our garden when we moved in, and the first thing I made dh do was get out there with a pickaxe and get the bloody thing out. It was back-breaking work, took him hours then he had to lug 4 paving slabs onto the spot where it hadbeen, just in case any roots were left...

better not tell him it was a myth

Finding time to have fruities with DH is bad enough. I would rather buy a gismo at least you know where is has been

Message withdrawn

Yuk! gross! vomit!

no, no, no!

sleazy - anyone see Louis Theroux with the swingers in the US - gross + plus the wife of the main couple looked most uncomfortable although she professed not to be - she was more like the waitress making sure everyone had food and drink - she didn't seem to get into the sex side - desperate situation I'd say.

Message deleted

If both parties are 100% into it and they both agree that it is just a sex thing and each partner knows about their partner's extra-curriculars then I don't see a prob with it. The problems come when one partner is more into it than the other and the one who isn't keen gets swept into it out of fear of losing their partner to an affair. It isn't for me, or DH, but I think it can work in certain relationships.

Jools - I saw that Louis Theroux and agree that the wife just played hostess and looked deeply uncomfortable with her (revolting) husband shagging everything in sight