Hi, I've posted here once before about DP but will give a quick overview. We've been together for 2.5 years, he seperated from his wife a few months before we met as she left him for another man and took their two children (aged 1 and 2 at the time) with her. I was seperated from my daughters father, who was 2 at the time. Even though his wife had multiple affairs and left him, she made his life very difficult after seperation - racking up debts and expecting him to pay, stopping him seeing the kids, causing problems in our relationship etc. We stuck together and after just over a year together my daughter and I moved 30 miles to be closer to him (though we didn't move in together.) She continued to make life as difficult as possible for him and he continued to do whatever she told him (i.e. not knowing until the morning he was due to collect kids whether he'd see them or not, her giving him one days notice that she had moved out of their house and hadn't paid the mortgage so he'd have to, she had a baby and gave her his surname and told everyone she was his and so on) and he said that he was waiting until they'd been seperated for 2 years and then he was going to divorce her.
We discussed trying for a baby of our own as, aside from her interference, our relationship is absolutely fantastic. My daughter adores him and his children, when we get to see them, fit in well and get on well with my daughter. We started trying in July last year and I fell pregnant in October. He was over the moon, as was my daughter and I was really excited about the future. However, his wife continued to cause problems for him regarding debts and stopping him seeing his kids yet he continued to do nothing about making formal arrangements for contact with the kids or getting divorced. It got to the end of Feb and finally I could keep quiet no longer and told him that it was ridiculous that I was so far pregnant and that he hadn't made any attempt at starting to get divorced, and that while he is still so embroiled with his wife we can't even move in together. He apologised and said he would get it sorted immediately.
He saw a solicitor the following week. His solicitor wrote a draft letter she proposed to send to the wife, which admittedly was quite harsh - i.e. if you do not consent to divorce we will have no option but to file for unreasonable behaviour on grounds of your affairs, if you do not make contact arrangements with our client we will seek a contact order etc. He called his solicitor and had it changed to pretty much kissing his wifes backside to get her to consent to the divorce and had his solicitor agree to the contact arrangements his wife wants him to have, which he actually can't fulfill. It was only after the letter was sent that he told me what it contained, whereby I advised him that he is silly to make contact agreements he cannot keep as she will then say he is letting the kids down - and she'd be right. He called her to tell her he couldn't actually do what he'd promised and low and behold, she stopped him seeing the kids again! She had a solicitors appointment the following day and told him not to contact her again. That was a month ago. His solicitor has chased hers up but they have heard nothing, and he has done as he was told and not contacted his wife. I'm now 32 weeks pregnant with no prospect of anything being sorted. His shifts mean that as we aren't living together and can't until his issues are resolved, he'll see our baby a couple of times per week at most so I'll pretty much be a single mum. I love him very much, but I just want to have a normal family life. Is that too much to ask? For 2.5 years now my daughter and I have fitted in around his work and his wifes whims about whether he can see the kids or not and I don't want this baby to have to do the same. Though he promised, yet again, a month ago to get it sorted it's been several weeks and he hasn't done anything. How long would you wait?