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Original poster

Sorry, I really need to rant and rave to myself.

29 replies

Flossam · 05/02/2006 21:06

Dp. Him again! All has been calm for a while but its the whole issue arising with his friends again. I posted about the whole stag weekend thing the other day, well that seems to have been accepted.

However, this weekend he arrived home friday evening. I had to work last night, so had a lay in yesterday morning, then DP had to go and get a new tyre, then I had to go to work. Got home this morning and crashed out. Told DP to get me up at a time that he thought was reasonable. I went to bed at 10 and he woke me at 2.45. I'd normally get up before than that.

Anyway, DS woke up from his nap about the same time, and I got myself some breakfast (cornflakes) and before I was halfway through he was trying to say goodbye to go and drive back to Bristol.

ranted and raved for ages about filling in 8 medical health questions for our bloody mortgage, which he was supposed to fill in before, and me reminding him 'delayed him'. And I mean, you would never believe anyone could cause such a fuss about filling in a form.

He finally left at 3.20. I hadn't even had the chance to have a shower before he left. he refused to give me 5 minutes to do so. I told him I knew he was planning on going out this evening. Cue lots of denials.

One phone call an hour and a half later to tell me that he'd only just got on the motorway so he was right to leave when he did. He'd call me when he got there. No other phone call. So about half an hour ago I tried to call him. No answer.

He did call back, claiming to be in his parents garden when I asked him. I told him he was lying, he denied, denied, untill I got the usual, 'So what if I am out?' Erm, well out of the 10 or so waking hours you got to spend with me you couldn't wait to get away to your friends, that is what the problem is. I now won't see him untill Fri/Sat.

I won't be able to live with this desperation to be wherever his friends are if he carries on when we move. This is the 4th time this week he has been out with them.

Rant over.

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 05/02/2006 21:08

Oh, Flossam

VeniVidiVickiQV · 05/02/2006 21:11

Oh Floss

VeniVidiVickiQV · 05/02/2006 21:12

I have a few choice names to call him but decided not to post them.

Original poster
Flossam · 05/02/2006 21:13

He is being a prick, isn't he? thought I'd feel better for moaning, but I just feel worse.

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 05/02/2006 21:13

He's running away from his responsibilities yet again isn't he Floss? Sorry, but he should have left a lot later imo, it's not that far!

hunkermunker · 05/02/2006 21:13

You're moving nearer his friends? Are they your friends too?

WideWebWitch · 05/02/2006 21:14

You need to have this out with him, it's not fair on you.

WideWebWitch · 05/02/2006 21:14

Moving will make matters worse won't it?

Original poster
Flossam · 05/02/2006 21:16

Not particularly. He made out he didn't want to drive in the dark. Ironic thing about it though is that he's been driving to meet his friends in the dark! He just keeps going on about how hard it is for him being away and being stuck in a room with nothing to do (he's on site for 2 weeks in portishead). Nothing about that being home alone with Ds might be tough for me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Flossam · 05/02/2006 21:17

WWW, yes probably. Only the facts that he'll be back on shifts, and I'll be on shifts so opportunity will be less, also he'll be having a limiting allowance a month.

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 05/02/2006 21:17

As far as i know, the traffic wasnt that terrible today on route to Bristol.

LadySherlockofLGJ · 05/02/2006 21:19

Floss..................

Original poster
Flossam · 05/02/2006 21:21

Hi lgj

OP posts:
LadySherlockofLGJ · 05/02/2006 21:22

I have tried, since the meetup, to have no opinion re this man,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,but he is an immature arse...........

Tell him you have withdrawn your notice, and you are staying where you are, and see what sort of reaction you get.

WideWebWitch · 05/02/2006 21:23

I know the M4 was ok today as my exhusband left London at 2.40pm and was here by 5pm. And that was from NW London so a pita round the N Circ to get to the M4 (although I think you're further South aren't you?)

Original poster
Flossam · 05/02/2006 21:26

Still haven't given notice! Things are taking ages with the move, probs with the survey. Have said to him on Thurs, that me and DS will just stay here. Isn't distance supposed to make things better? Everything is just so stressful atm.

OP posts:
mummytosteven · 05/02/2006 21:26

He's being a t$sser. Do you think he might just be being a t$sser as he sees this time before you are all back together when you sort out the new place as a bit of a last chance at freedom (hopeful emoticon)

Original poster
Flossam · 05/02/2006 21:27

He got the north circular too. Thats what he thought took him an hour and a half WWW. We get on a few junctions before the m11.

OP posts:
Original poster
Flossam · 05/02/2006 21:29

I'll just have to hope M2s, I think really won't I? ATM I think I'll just avoid his calls for a day or two. I haven't got anything nice to say to him. He knows I'd call if there was a problem with DS. He's spent lots of time with him while he was here. Just seems to be me he's not interested in spending time with.

OP posts:
LadySherlockofLGJ · 05/02/2006 21:29

MTS

He was born a tosser and will die a tosser, but with Floss by his side, the interim will to all intents and purposes be OK, but Lord God does she need to stamp on him and PDQ.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 05/02/2006 21:39

Agree LGJ.

Floss, my SIL left us at 5 today (we are 25 minutes closer to Bristol than you). It took her 3 hours in total to get back home - 45 mins of that was stuck on the M32 just outside of Bristol.

He needs a short sharp shock. You are such a lovely lady and he needs to remember that. Can i suggest that next weekend when he arrives you promptly hand over DS, gather your bag etc and go out?

Not suggesting that you dont have lots of people you can go out with but im free at weekends

Original poster
Flossam · 05/02/2006 21:45

thanks for saying such nice things. I need to work next weekend too really VVV. He's earning £300 p/m less now, and I can only do one shift a week rather than the two I usually aim for. So we are doubley skint. All not helping, really. On the positive side, he only drank soft drinks last week and claims to only have spent £15 last week.

he reckons he got back to bristol at about 7 - but he comes off before the M32. Said that next week he wouldn't need to leave so early. But that wipes out the driving in the dark argument, as if he's prepared to leave later, he'd be driving in the dark and why did he need to rush back today in the light? Except I know why.

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 05/02/2006 21:52

At some point, you need to tell him that he's got to;

a) find himself a pair of balls and start being honest with you
b) stop insulting your intelligence by telling you such ridiculous lies/excuses.
c) remind him that you are in fact a saint for putting up with all his crap/lies/money issues/etc and he needs to think a bit more about why you are sticking around and what he does to deserve it.

LadySherlockofLGJ · 05/02/2006 21:56

Oh and whilst you are at it..................

Give him a totally separate account, with the bare minimum in it, spending money, and petrol money.

Original poster
Flossam · 05/02/2006 22:00

He's going to have one LGJ. He has a budget of £100 per month (I think) to spend as he sees fit, food for work, night out, meal for us, sandwiches out etc etc, anything. Then I'll give him money for petrol as needed. He'll have access to my c/a but not to use without discussion first apart from emergencies. And if it wasn't a 'real' emergency, he'll have same amount of money docked from next months allowance. How much like a mother do I sound?

OP posts: