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Relationships

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Original poster

Would you date someone who is unemployed?

45 replies

toptramp · 29/03/2012 21:41

There is a nice looking guy on a website. He's unemployed. I know that we live in tough economic times and many of us are in the same boat; he could be looking and/or between jobs. He has a degree etc. WWYD?

OP posts:

FirstLastEverything · 29/03/2012 21:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mumsyblouse · 29/03/2012 21:45

I think it's a strange thing to put on a dating website. If I was temporarily unemployed, I would just put down the last job I did and make it clear I was between jobs. He can't think it's a selling point, surely (although as you say, it's perfectly normal to be unemployed/made redundant in the current economic climate).

blackcoffee · 29/03/2012 21:54

yup why not? Unless I was looking for a wallet
Unemployed blokes are are human as the rest, and he gets a plus for being honest

Original poster

toptramp · 29/03/2012 22:06

Yes; who knows what his story is?

OP posts:

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 29/03/2012 22:13

no, because he wouldn't be able to take me out to the places i would like to go to.

Mumsyblouse · 29/03/2012 22:14

I wasn't think about him being a wallet (I earn my own money, the OP might well do too), more that I'd tend to go for someone with a very interesting job as I am career oriented myself and find other career oriented people easier to relate to (in terms of being driven, identity etc). Of course, he might be unemployed between really interesting jobs, or taking a break to reassess his life, if he's sitting on his arse happily unemployed with no real plans to get a job, it's a bit different.

mrsfollowill · 29/03/2012 22:16

I did - 18 years ago, he found a job a year later and has stuck at it ever since. Has done well for himself too and progressed up 'the career ladder' very nicely.
I've stuck with him all these years because he is a great person and didn't work at the time through no fault of his own. If I'd discounted him because he didn't have a job... I would be missing out. If you like what you have seen so far of this guy then give him a chance.

TooEasilyTempted · 29/03/2012 22:17

I wouldn't go on a date until I knew why they are unemployed (sacked, made redundant, never had a job since finishing their degree?), and how long they'd been unemployed for.

If they'd been sacked from their last job 2 years ago and hadn't found any work since then, I'd assume they were a waster so no date.

If they'd been made redundant 2 months ago and had a bunch of applications and interviews lined up then I'd give them a chance.

DinahMoHum · 29/03/2012 22:21

yeah i mainly care about what sort of person they are

blackcoffee · 29/03/2012 22:33

yy the wallet comment was more for the 'take me to the places i like to go' kinda girl

HotBurrito1 · 29/03/2012 22:34

I would. Like Dinah said it's about the fella himself, non?

WineGoggles · 29/03/2012 22:44

It wouldn?t bother me unless he was happy being unemployed. Money and careers don?t particularly interest me though, especially when you consider what a PITA it is to be with a workaholic. Plus I'm not at all materialistic and don't need a man with money to be very happy with him.

LaurieFairyCake · 29/03/2012 22:52

I did because I was young and DH was fresh out of uni.

I wouldn't now but only because I'm old - unless he was early retired

juneybean · 29/03/2012 23:06

I always said I wouldn't but I did.

TheSecondComing · 29/03/2012 23:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

purpleroses · 29/03/2012 23:15

No. 15 years ago I didn't care at all, so got together with my (now) ex - who was a perpetual drifter, rarely employed and rarely contented. When I started looking again for someone new after we split up it was top of my list. I need a partner who I can respect and who is doing something with his life.

Seasidegirly · 29/03/2012 23:19

I did. It didnt matter he was unemployed as long as he didnt start asking me too pay for everything which he never did.

DitaVonCheese · 29/03/2012 23:28

Reader, I married him :)

Starwisher · 30/03/2012 00:05

He could always be doing a "test" by seeing which women are still interested inspite of him being skint.

Trust me, I heard a stranger tests than this from the online dating world!

If it is genuine it would entirely depend why and what he was doing about it.

WorryDoll · 30/03/2012 00:18

At least he's being up front about it I suppose. I'm an unemployed single parent, I'm doing my very best to find a job, such is life with the job market as it is at the moment. Believe me I hate not being in employment.

I'd certainly chat online if there's other things about him that you really like. Though I can kind of understand just not wanting to get involved with someone that's unemployed too.

I'm glad I'm not looking myself at the moment. It's tough.

izzyizin · 30/03/2012 04:52

This could be my dear brother. 3 marriages and shedloads of alimony later, he'll still be a sucker for yet another stacked babe with the heart of a calculator no.4.

He's under orders from my folks to make like he's a hobo before revealing the true extent of his not inconsiderable means and we've already drafted the pre-nup and booked a venue thousands of miles away from California for the inevitable nuptials

badgeroncaffeine · 30/03/2012 05:38

The reason to work is for money. I'm not after a partner's money, so yes I would, obviously.

badgeroncaffeine · 30/03/2012 05:41

Good point Starwisher. I have it on good authority that exactly the same description with "unemployed" changed to (a moderately well paid job) attracts countless gold-diggers. No-one wants to think that their partner just wants their money/status, but sadly many do.

HairyGrotter · 30/03/2012 07:01

I would have to find out why they are unemployed. I'm a mature student, so am 'unemployed' as such, but I like a man who has direction. I wouldn't automatically discount someone for their employment status, but I'd make sure they had some drive

McPhee · 30/03/2012 07:01

My partner is unemployed because of an operation he had on his spine last year. I knew he wasn't working when we met, but it made no difference to me. I love him for who he is, not what I can get out of him. He's now actively looking for work, and although he keeps getting knocked back he's a very determined man. We're expecting our first baby in July, so this is a major motivation for him.

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