Very sad about a friendship going sour and its all MY FAULT

[veryworried29]

Namechanging long-termer here. I post under this name when its something sensitive or embarrassing or secret.

Basically I am a shit person with a shit attitude and I hate myself but I cannot do anything about this attitude. Or perhaps I can ... but how?

My oldest best friend (known her for 30 years) has done something I don't approve of, nothing illegal, and she has done it for (almost) understandable reasons ... but I can't get over it!!

I don't want to go into the specifics. It involves education (a v v v sensitive area I know) but it has made this subject undiscussable afaic, whereas she just wants to talk about it all the time.

I have been avoiding her for weeks ... feeling guilty ... want to get over myself.

Any ideas on how I can just let it go?

P.S. I know I will be judged on this but can we please take note of the fact that this is not an aibu? and I want to be nice, I really do, so please help me rather than flame me. Tia.

agree.
that would really make me re-think what kind of person my friend was.

am assuming you are in a place with dire state schools, but she can't afford the fees for private maybe? that's why you say what she is doing is understandable?

i have no idea what i would do if i was in a situation where I had to live where I live but the schools would be awful for my children. i really do not know.... but what she is doing is wrong and I wouldn't be afraid of telling her either.

See, that is morally wrong. It is not really about education, it is about stealing, or accessing funds she is not entitled to. Like benefit fraud, or tax evasion. I cant believe she has had the lack of decorum to actually tell you this. No wonder you are sick of hearing it. I would also be questioning the friendship if I were in your situation.

Can I just rewind hijack thread about something earlier?
Springydaffs, I've noticed you around. I've been watching you across the bar. You're a bit out of my league, but my god, you're rather lovely, and if I were bolder...

But for god's sake:
Anyway, enough about me. Is it her going on about it that is the issue for you, or the fact that she's done it? imo this can be quite a deal breaker if politics goes deep, as it seems to for you

I'm pink red right down to my underwear, but honestly: life is hard enough as it is, with illness/death/loss/betrayal/no one understanding us. Infidelity; infidelity with best mate; deliberate injury; yes, these are deal breakers. But a different political standpoint?

Springydaffs, please don't tell me it's all over.

Sorry to have annoyed some of you by not logging on to Mumsnet so far today! I have been out enjoying the sunshine, getting the garden furniture spruced up and being with the kids.

And that's a bit...weeeeelllll....strange (not the being out - the fact that you had to come on here and tell us all about it, then reassure us how little our opinion matters)

I would hate to have a friend like this. Friends who will tell me to my face I'm an idiot are a delight and very necessary. Friends who play games should get down to ToysRUs, where they will find a smashing selection.