In praise of DH/DP

[Fishandjam]

Hello lovely ladies,

I get so sad at seeing threads on MN about sub-optimal partners (sorry, don't know how to put it better than that - baby brain!) - whether they be abusive, unpleasant or just selfish/useless. Makes my blood boil, oftentimes.

And I know that there are so many men out there who are none of those things - I'm married to one.

So, I was wondering if it would be OK to have a thread to celebrate men who are kind, loving and decent? If only to reassure those MNers who are having a bad time with their DP that not all men are like that!

Yes
My DH took me out for lunch today (even though I ended up paying) and did all the clearing up from my supper making prep in the kitchen
He also brings me breakfast in bed 6 days out of 7
Love him

Well mine's a good'un, to start you off

Currently working flat out miles from home with a horrible fluey thing that we gave him last week and still says nice things when he rings up.

Bloody lovely he is.

Mine's a good'un too.

There is not a single bad thing or critisism I could make of him.

Mine has put up with everything I could have thrown at him over the years - issues over my childhood, depression, clinginess, all sorts of needy behaviour - as well as more than his fair share of life's usual vicissitudes (his beloved father dying, and him needing treatment for cancer as well as my being laid up with a crocked back and then suffering a miscarriage). Not only has he put up with them, he's dealt with them with dignity and kindness. He is the reason I am now a much more confident, sociable, likeable person than I ever was when I met him (we've been together 20 years). Yes, he can have his moments, but they're always trivial. He's the most wonderful dad too. (And handsome!)

Mine is fantastic too! Loving, balanced, patient, clever, assertive, organised! God, he puts me to shame Oh, and he's fantastic in the sack too

Mine is fab -

He has supported me brilliantly through fertility problems, AND (I went rather off the rails and did some things I am still ashamed of), PND, awful miscarriages, horrible (regular ) mood swings...

He never argues with me - when I get wound up about things, he manages to calm me down and soothe me.

He is a far better parent than I am. The instant he gets home from work, before changing out of his cycling gear he takes over looking after the DC, playing with them with more enthusiasm than I've been able to muster over the whole day.

He's kind, generous, thoughtful, caring, patient and completely unselfish. I love him to bits and honestly can't fault him :)

My husband is also lovely :)

I can't even describe how lovely tbh, because whenever I start trying to write down all the ways he makes me happy, it doesn't seem like enough to really honestly say how grateful I am to him for being awesome.

He's the love of my life.

sorry.

Am really happy for you, honestly!

But I think this praise thread is placed in the wrong section. I didn't come to "Relationships" to hear how great other husbands are. I am here to see what other Ladies experiences in a difficult situation are, to see what others are doing when faced with my current problems.

I am sure many of you would be offended if I started a glowing thread in "Conception" about just how easy it is for us to conceive..

Maybe I shouldn't open a thread "in praise of DH"... not having a good day.

My oh is so kind and thoughtful but there are times he can be selfish and lazy, as can I. We live each other because of the good times and inspite of the bad. It's all about balance, no1 is perfect all of the time but loving each other anyway is what matters.

I'm sorry mejustbetter, I didn't realise this section was for difficult relationships. (Not been a MNer long!) I'll ask MNHQ to move it somewhere else.

I'm sorry you're having problems - sending you an un-Mumsnetty hug.

i don't think there is a section on here for this ;-)

anyways, have a nice evening, and thanks for the hug, am really not in a good place.

this thread makes me because these are all the things I have never experienced...but I am so glad that these men are out there and are real...hope my DSs end up as lovely despite their poor role model. And I disagree with mejust relationships should be about all relationships....I'm happy for all of you who can post here...and glad there may be hope for us all!!!!

personally i don't think your thread is in the wrong place OP.

this section is called "Relationships". Not "Abusive relationships", or "Shit relationships".

also, i think it's good to talk about good things. about the way things should be. after all we all need to know what to look for in a relationship, what we can reasonably expect, what we should hope for.

not just what we shouldn't stand for or what we should consider unbearable.

Mines pretty awesome too! CAn be annoying on a low level basis, but he's perfect for me. Gets me out of my moods without rising to the bait, looks after me, runs around after me. I love him so much, and he makes me feel like I'm his princess! (okay may need to vomit!!)

Honest, affectionate, generous, kind, fantastic father.. that's my DH.

But mainly, as straight as an arrow. Would never ever lie or be deceitful

Oh he can be a pain, no doubt about it, but I couldn't be without him.

Mine is great! I am 37 weeks pregnant and manage to get pretty much fuck all done most days. He doesn't think I'm lazy and has decided outsourcing the "nesting" to a professional cleaner is a top plan :) He is very thoughtful and does lots of lovely little things to look after me and make me happy.

Thread definitely isn't in the wrong place. As mentioned above, the topic is called "relationships" not "domestic abuse". And plenty of people with no fertility issues whatsoever post in conception all the time. The only thing that tends not to go down too well there is the how to conceive a particular sex threads.

Mejustbetter, I can see what you're saying but I don't think it was the OP's intention to make anyone feel worse.

I'm sorry things are not good with you at the moment.

I think some of us wanted to post out of sheer gratitude really...I know I've had a whole lot of horrible relationships, and finally to be with someone nice makes you want to say 'Is this real? Am I really with someone great after all this time?' so it's more like a way of trying to get my head around it.

Not trying to boast. Just to say an out-loud thankyou to the universe for something wonderful that I have never believed I deserved.

I hope that makes sense. There is always a bit of sadness in people's happiness.

I think it's good to see the balance redressed occasionally.

Some of the husbands in the relationship leave me [shocked] at their awfulness.

Pleased to say mine is exceptionally wonderful.

I think this thread is in the right place. It's in relationships. Not all relationships are bad ones and we don't only have to post bad ones here.

Threads like this should give people in bad relationahips the knowledge and hope that things don't have to be bad, and all of us deserve to be in good relationships or single and happy.

My DP is great. We both work full time and have no DC yet.

DP does his share of the household tasks (at least 50%), not because he is 'helping me out' but because he sees it as his responsibility.

He is kind and considerate, and holds my views to be as valid as his. We have never really 'argued' - we occasionally have well defended debates, usually on political issues- but have never had a raised voice row. Personal things we disagree about we have been able to resolve through discussion.

He is hard working, and is very supportive of my career, which unfortunately frequently means I have to work in the evenings and weekends.

I was disappointed a while ago to discover that he was occasionally watching porn, but he listened to me when I raised the issue with him, and read some reports and watched some clips about the porn industry that I showed him to explain why I am so against it. He acknowledged that what I had shown him changed his mind on how he viewed it and he made a commitment not to watch it again.

He spoils me rotten. I am rubbish in the mornings, so he always brings me tea in bed and breakfast too if I have a early start. And he spends ages rubbing my feet on the sofa most evenings.

He loves children and will make a great dad. We are planning ways so that we can effectively share the care of any future DC so that he gets to spend some time at home with them and I don't have to give up my career, which I love.

He is very affectionate and even after 4 years together kiss and cuddle several times an hour when we are home alone. He is great in bed but loves just cuddling up on the sofa just as much. To top it off, he is good looking, keeps himself in shape, and has the most perfectly formed bum ever!

Most importantly, I think, is that being with him allows me and encourages me to be the best version of me that I can be.

Well...tbh...I really do think it's good to have a thread like this!
I have had bad relationships....but now with a lovely, caring, honest, gentle man....I too didnt believe they were around....but they are and it is bliss!!

Mine's just a nice guy, everyone loves him. Bless.

Mine is just wonderful, its second time round for both of us and I struck gold this time.

He is laid back, easy going and loves me more than anything.

I just love him so much

Im really glad to be reading this. So often I read the threads about mens behaviour and they stick in my head all day, so its good to get the balance and remember there are some good uns out there. I myself seem to have drifted back to my ex who is behaving brilliantly , think he might have needed some training, but we are in a very happy place right now, even talking getting married on a Caribbean island. So thanks for starting this thread.