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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

In praise of DH/DP

43 replies

Fishandjam · 21/03/2012 18:05

Hello lovely ladies,

I get so sad at seeing threads on MN about sub-optimal partners (sorry, don't know how to put it better than that - baby brain!) - whether they be abusive, unpleasant or just selfish/useless. Makes my blood boil, oftentimes.

And I know that there are so many men out there who are none of those things - I'm married to one.

So, I was wondering if it would be OK to have a thread to celebrate men who are kind, loving and decent? If only to reassure those MNers who are having a bad time with their DP that not all men are like that!

OP posts:

MyNameIsntFUCKINGWarren · 22/03/2012 14:38

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

themildmanneredjanitor · 22/03/2012 14:39

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mumsyblouse · 22/03/2012 14:57

I sometimes don't think I recognize either sets of men I read about in Relationships, nor see them amongst the men I know as friends or my female friends' husbands.

My husband, like most of my friend's husbands, isn't abusive or a cheater (that we know of), he doesn't stay out all night, or call me names or hurt our children.

But he's not a perfect husband either. He can get grumpy, he can be a bit of a workaholic, we have had years in which I've thought 'oh god, can I take much more of this'. He's also very romantic, attentive, makes me laugh and we get on well, there's a core of enjoying family life and each other, and other years I think 'I'm so glad we are together'.

He's a human being, not all bad, not all good, not always anything really. Quite similar to me.

henrysmama2012 · 22/03/2012 15:06

This is a really sweet thread my DH is a sweetie, too...very thoughtful, supportive, caring & sexy. We haven't been married that long, and are still in the honeymoon period, to some extent, I guess...which made a recent conversation stick in my head because of how cute it was. I'd sent away for a Tena lady sample as I'd read somewhere they are the best choice straight after birth for bleeding...anyway I opened the package in front of him and recoiled in horror and said I am NOT wearing that!! (I'm also really petite and they looked like giant hideous things to me)...anyway he said no you cannot throw them away, they look great for after the birth. Sounds stupid and small but whilst we are still at that early major physical attraction stage, he always makes me feel like a million dollars even when hearing about hideous pregnancy symptoms and looking at massive incontenence pads - those things just don't seem to phase him...I do have more romantic examples, lol, this one probably sounds a but random, but for some reason I was really touched by that conversation!

MiladyGardenia · 22/03/2012 15:25

It's a lovely thread I think.

I feel extremely lucky to have found DH after a pretty piss-poor first marriage. He is kind, generous, loving, handsome, sexy and reliable. I know reliable may not be seen as exciting for some, but for me, with my family history etc, it is one of the most attractive things about him.

He is also exceptionally tolerant of my insomnia quirks, including sleeping downstairs on the sofa, being turfed out of bed in the wee small hours and generally doing his utmost to make sure I sleep as well as possible. XH just used to get pettish about it. The other morning, for example, I came downstairs looking like a zombie. He sent me straight back upstairs, called into work to tell them he was working from home for the morning and I had several hours uninterrupted sleep.

And then on Wed I thought I had ds2's stomachache and eventually capitulated at around 3 pm and phoned DH to feebly ask if he could get home a bit early to make dinner for the dc. He walked in the door 40 minutes later and again packed me off to bed. (I may have wept a few wimpy tears when he came in )

henrysmama2012 · 22/03/2012 15:34

Oh he sounds really lovely

MiladyGardenia · 22/03/2012 15:41

He is

FaneFeyre · 22/03/2012 15:56

Mine is lovely. Came downstairs half weeping last night when I couldn't settle colic-crazed 8 week old baby. He went straight up to her and cuddled her to sleep. When I came up 30 mins later he asked if I would like to make up bottles of formula and sleep in guest room and let him take over the night feeds (even though he has to get up early for work ). Am breastfeeding and he knows it's important to me so he asked in an I'm Here For You way rather than a pushy way. Made everything better.
Also he is v v hot. Also brings me tea in bed when he has time.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 22/03/2012 16:02

My DH is the best. We have been married for 25 years in September and he has been a wonderful husband and father and business partner in good times and bad. He is a rock I can lean on, has always pulled his weight where teh children were concnerned and has never ever treated me as anyting but an absolute equal. xx

trilottie · 22/03/2012 16:35

Aww this thread is so sweet! My DH is the best too. My family think he's the best thing since sliced bread, he's always (ok mostly) calm and kind, he does our finances while I stick my head in the sand, about as romantic as me (not much) and loves cuddles. I can't wait for him to be a dad in 7 months time, he's already had a bit of a worry about it but I think he'll be great. He also does the same hobbies as me, in fact one sport he started just so he could be with me more! How sweet is that! He's also super fit and utterly gorgeous! Think I need to point him at this thread that some people get tea in bed every day though...

GeekCool · 22/03/2012 16:46

My DH, before his work trip to Liverpool this week (We're in Scotland) went to supermarket to stock up on 'nice' things for ds and I. He made sure he cleaned the rabbit cage out, got up early on the morning he was going to do the dishes. Laid out ds' clothes for next day (which he ironed).

Granted he normally does these things anyway, but it was him making an extra effort to make sure ds and I had as easy a time as possible without him, because he does half of everything that needs doing, he knew more would fall to me whilst he was away. (we both work full time)

It really is the thought that counts, makes me smile.

Jacksmania · 22/03/2012 16:47

He puts up with me. How, I don't know. God knows why but he loves me.

And he is the most utterly brilliant and loving dad in the history of the free world.

Squitten · 22/03/2012 16:50

My husband is a good 'un.

He's looking after the kids this weekend so I can jet off for a girl's trip with my cousin and get some time away from the little monsters (SAHM)

first1 · 22/03/2012 17:11

My dp us just amazing. I set my own thread up about him last week actually. We've only been together two months, but I just know he's incredible. And he is absolutely amazing with my toddler. She loves him. I love him. I'm just too nervous to say it first!

Really though, I've had my fair share of bad eggs over the years. But finally think I've met a man in a million.

AfternoonDelight · 22/03/2012 17:14

I love my DP (DH in September!)

He's been fantastic since my back went, a wonderful father, a caring partner, he's bloody gorgeous and fantastic in bed

Oh, and he makes a wonderful cup of coffee just the way I like it :)

He's my best friend and the one person I can tell everything to. He's also the only person in the world that I can spend 24/7 with without wanting to kill him!

Rowgtfc72 · 22/03/2012 17:47

Dp becomes dh in May. He works opposite shifts to me to fit round dd so we dont see much of each other during the week but he always takes the time to text "morning sexy bum" to me. Im eight yrs older than him and no Kelly Brook but it makes my day !

SilkStalkings · 22/03/2012 18:00

It's all about kindness really isn't it? Not to be confused with occasional grand gestures at certain times (distraction/diversion/guilt/compensation/manipulation) and generosity to his mates.
It's about a man who doesn't hate women. He may not be Mr Sexy at first sight but he doesn't slag off his ex, never gets nasty and doesn't ever make you feel like you're being manipulated. He makes you feel like the seesaw is balanced in general.

NobodyKnowsMe · 23/03/2012 08:38

My DP becomes DH in December after proposing in the most wonderfully romantic way last month and he is absolutely awesome, my best friend and love of my life as I am his. I could go on forever listing the sweet, kind, thoughtful things he does every single day, cares for me when I'm ill, put up with my clinginess when I was preggers, coffee in bed when he can, misses us like crazy and calls us twice a day (if not more) when working away...the list goes on. Plus he's amazing in bed and absolutely stunning (God knows what he sees in me but he often calls me a goddess so I must be doing something right!!!) Can't wait to become his missus :) I feel so lucky to have found an absolute diamond in my lovely man.

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