Found something in Dh's drawer. His explanation doesnt feel right.

[dealbreaker]

Putting ironing away this morning and Dh's drawer got stuck so I pulled it all the way out to push it back again and there in a plain brown box was a rampant rabbit. Still in its box, although box opened, and delivery note dated last August. I confronted him and he started laughing and said it was a present for me and he just hadnt got around to giving it. The opportunity hadnt arisin. In the last 7 months!!! We get on well, although are always tired with the little ones. He works hard, great Dad, more than pulls his weight around house. I'm pretty sure he isnt seeing someone else (he's either at work or home and has been for one night out in last year). Would you believe him and forget all about it or is something seriously wrong? Have been thinking all sorts, closet gay being one of them.

I would forget all about it. He probably bought it on a whim and either forgot all about it, or changed his mind about giving it you. Maybe he was unsure of your reaction. If it was my DH I wouldn't be worrying.

I would be inclined to believe him.

I agree with what Sparkling said, I wouldn't be worried from what you've said.

Sounds like he did buy it for you, and for whatever reason changed his mind.

What is it that you're worried is the real reason?

Maybe he was planning a romantic night to give you it but yous have been so busy he hasn't been able to plan anything? I wouldn't worry too much about it personally if it was me, although I would suggest getting around to planning a romantic night to try out the new present! :)

Closet gay???! Men using a vibrator on themselves doesn't make them gay, although if that was what he wanted he'd be better off with a quality prostate massager. Prostate play is a normal and healthy interest but much stigmatised, sadly. Were there batteries inside it? He might have bought it for you as a sexy thing and then thought you wouldn't approve, or would laugh at him - is he usually interested in giving you an orgasm and have there been problems in this area?

Give it a whirl tonight?

Thanks for your replies. I just thought it was strange because although they are few and far between there have been opportunities to present it to me, I'm not a prude, and he just didnt. I guess thats why I was thinking all sorts including the gay explanation. Surely if he went to the trouble of ordering and paying for it he would have got around to presenting it in the last half year? I will check if there are any batteries in and that might help back up his answer.

But even if there are batteries in it, it doesn't mean anything. He may have switched it on and thought 'Yikes I'm not sure she'll want this'.

Might he have forgotten it was there?

They can be quite alarming when on - I was an Ann Summers rep - I know this things. :)

Or, if you are likely to think anything bum related makes him gay, maybe he is too ashamed to tell you that he likes it? And buying a rampant rabbit that people would assume is for his female partner is less scary than buying a male vibrator?

When is the best time to produce a vibrator as a gift though?

Hes bought it intending to produce it when you are having sex,hes read reviews or heard girls saying their rabbits are their best friend etc and hes ordered one for you thinking it might give a bit extra oomph ....then hes probably had second thoughts and left it in his drawer thinking hmm maybe one day it will be the 'right time'.

In my wardrobe brand new is a sexy french maids outfit all new and never worn - h once said he found them super sexy,I bought it intending to dress up and havent as yet - I do wear sexy undies and stuff and have worn other bedroom outfits but this just hasnt had its moment.

If nothing else is giving you cause for concern, then leave him to his rabbit. If his Big Sexual Secret is that he likes to masturbate with a vibrator, I think you have nothing to worry about! You can either join in or let him have his fun solo. And he may well be telling you the truth - he bought it for you.

lol Sparklingbrook

Perhaps not on Mothers' Day.

".....and something else I have to blardy do myself....!"

Have you said anything in the past 7 months that may have led him to believe that you don't like rampant rabbits? Have you laughed at an Anne Summers advert infront of him?

How have things been between you since August? Has anything changed?

When was your birthday?

If you have ever seen many of my posts, you will know I come down on the harsh side around dodgy male behaviour and what it can mean

But, I believe him

it's entirely possible he bought it, and chickened out to leave it for a "better" time that never came (busy family life etc) and then semi-forgot about it. Of course the box is open as he would have had a peep, and possibly a mess about to see how it works

if you have no other reasons to think he is anything less than trustworthy, I would go with it

If he were 'a closet gay', he'd be sleeping with men, not buying sex toys for women. Unless there's lots of other background you're not sharing, I'd believe him.

Why do you think his explanation does not feel right? This is why I asked how things have been.

Have had a few good friends find out some secret stuff (prostitutes etc) about their 'perfect' Dh's recently and I think I'm just naturally going to be suspicious of anything that seems to have been kept a secret. I know men like their secrets and I guess I thought I might have just found his. We were watching an old Sex and the City a few weeks ago. The one about the rabbits and we were laughing. It would have been a perfect opportunity to say something. I'm not going to mention it to him anymore. He got cross when I brought it up again this afternoon saying we didnt do it often enough for him to have brought it out. But there has been plenty of times in the past 7 months! I'm not going to mention it to him anymore but still just think its a bit odd.

Well, I wouldn't be happy with that dig about you "not doing it often enough for him to produce it" actually, but I do still believe him

Is he genuinely unhappy with how much sex you are having ? Buying you a vibe is not necessarily the best solution to that instead of like simply talking to you about it but it's not a hanging offence.

Is he a bit inept at communiction in other areas of your relationship ?

Well pack the kids off to bed early and ask him if he can help you work out how to use it...

I believe him too tbh, and I am a cynical old witch..

I believe him too....get it used...woohoooo great fun! Happy Mothers Day!

Thank you everyone for giving me some perspective. He does need to communicate better. Maybe when my heavy period is over...(sorry for the tmi)