My husband has just decided to tell me about myself

[Alltheseboys]

Just need to vent really. My husband has jut decided to tell me how lazy I am & how all I do is moan all the time. I'm so upset because I'm so tired & wish I had more energy which upsets me. I'm 4 months pregnant with my fifth boy an I work four days a week as a teacher. Until a month ago he was a retail manager working long hours so I basically did everything. I refused to do things like his washing & ironing as he never put it away. He says now he's not working I expect him to do everything & I don't get out of bed early enough etc. he said I've always been like this. I'm so tired & fed up. I normally stay up until 2am to do my lesson plans, drop them to school, go to work, finish early so i can pick them up from school then come home to do their dinner drop them at their clubs, do their
washing, clean the house do the shopping but
its not good enough. I've always worked & I am now doing my masters. Lazy is not a word anyone else would describe me with, you look knackered is the normal comment. I really don't want to spend mothers day with him tmw.

So you are pregnant, have four boys, a demanding job which you obviously take seriously, studying for a Masters and doing all the housework. With an unemployed husband who likes to 'change jobs' every couple of years?

WHAT THE ARING FK IS HE BRINGING TO THE RELATIONSHIP????? Unless he looks like George Clooney and shgs like Dirk Diggler ( and even then...) he should be kissing your feet in amazement and gratitude! GAH!

Ok, so he's having a bad day. Maybe he'll apologise later. Now doesn't sound a great time for you to be doing your master's though!

I'm staggered that you sat and listened to him spout that crap without telling him to fuck right off, quite frankly.

I'm speechless.

Who the FFing FF, with no job has the bollocks to spout THIS level of entitlement to you a mother of nearly 5, teacher and student?

I'm with clam.... Mardy and frankly anyone else who opens your front door and points his sorry entitled and lazy arse at it.

Posted this before but

I wakes him every morning when the clock strikes eight,
I'm always punctual, never, never late,
With a nice cup of tea and a little round of toast,
The Sporting Life and the Winning Post.
Then I gets him nice and comfy and I toddles off to work,
I do the best I can;
Well, I'm only a-doing what a girl should do
'Cos he's only a working man.

Or in this case, not even that.

Yes Bletchley if she stopped trying to improve herself everything would just be peachy

You lot have really cheered me up today & reassured me that I am not lazy!
I know it sounds like adding a masters on top is mad but I want to make sure I can get a good job when the boys are older & helps with my job. Keeps me sane to be honest & reminds me I have a career.
Thanks everyone

I think it might be time to stand up to him. He's behaving dreadfully here.

He is just jealous, obviously.

I think if you tell him that as you are working all hours, both in paid work and improving yourself and he is between engagements that he will assume the FULL role of House Husband.

Draw up a list of the stuff that needs doing/that you are currently doing and tell him that until he's in FT paid work that he will have to take responsibility for it, and any and every time he finds himself without a job, that will be his contribution to the family.

Betting he'll have a job inside a WEEK

Your husband sounds like an abusive, controlling twat op.

He does sound like an entitled twat.

Why 5 childr4en and a job? Seems too much to me.

Do you like him? He doesn't sound very nice.

What janelikesjam?!' Why 5 children & a job'? I am not entitled to benefits and staying at home drives me mad! I love my children & working. Are you going to pay my bills for me?!

agree with Confluge- total blatant projection on your husbands part

Is he looking for another job?

In my mind he should be doing all the housework and cooking and school runs and just let you go to work.

and he should let you sleep more..........

He sounds like an entitled, berating, projecting, and lazy arse.

You sound very able and very (overly?) giving.

Depending on how you look at it, you are either perfectly balanced (you give, he takes), or incredibly mismatched (he an arse, you lovely).

It's funny you say that life's good. He's currently asleep on the sofa while I'm chilling with my boys

I haven't read the whole thread...just your opening post, about having 4 boys, being 4 months pregnant and working as a teacher....and he has the audacity to say you're lazy? Twunt.

My ex told me a year ago that I was a slob. I have 4 teenagers, work full time as a nurse and was looking after my dying sister at the time.

The decree absolute is due any day.....

You carry on with that Masters girl.

And carry on being the fantastic role model you obviously are for those boys of yours. Because they sure as hell don't have one on the other side of the bed.

I'd be keeping on thinking about my priorities and what I wanted to do with my life as well, because you sound brilliant and you don't want to wake up in 20 yrs time and realise you've wasted half your life washing some prat's pants for him.

Bucharest
I stopped washing his pants along time ago or doing his ironing! I had my first in college and I know he resents the fact that I managed to carry on & pass while he didn't. I know he's projecting his failings on to me. Tbh I don't think we will be together once the kids have grown up but we will see!

Blimey OP, hats off to you. I think if you gave your DH the push all you'd notice is there was a lot less work to do, a lot less spending, and a lot more time to yourself.

You are right olgaga.

So you have four kids and are pregnant with a fifth. You work four days a week in addition to doing a masters degree. Plus you are doing huge amounts of housework and childcare. Lazy? My arse. SUPERWOMEN more like!