He has gone

[Bonkerz]

So what do I do now?

Dh decided this morning that he didn't want to try anymore. It's a bad marriage getting worse and breeding resentment. I suggested a night without the DCs to talk he decides he CBA packs a bag and leaves.

So I'm now alone in a house that I can't afford and is in his name. I have no savings so deposit on flat would be difficult. I have nowhere to go and I don't know what to do for the best.

Sorry Bonkerz, but just thinking he could be back in your bed, without any proper discussion/working on the relationship is just not showing a real commitment to change, at this stage at least.

Message him today to say that you and he have to talk tonight.

Treat it as a learning experience and make some changes rather than going back to the status quo.

Look back to the start of your thread about all the things you were most panicking about when he left. You were in 'a house I can't afford' that was in his name and you had no savings. You said it was a 'bad marriage getting worse'. Even if you decide he's allowed back, make that appointment to see a lawyer or CAB so that you know where you stand legally. Get the house put in joint names... you're married so it is already a shared asset but it is a clear statement to your DH i.e. 'I am as important as you'.

Starting now, open a savings account and put any spare money aside that you get from CB, housekeeping or your earnings. This is also a tangible way of asserting your independence. Having some of your own money behind you & knowledge of your legal position will make you feel 10x more secure - and that will have a direct impact on what you are willing to tolerate in future. Good luck