Attracted to a woman

[Memoo]

I'm 37, married with three dc. I have never been attracted to woman appart from a childish crush I had on an older girl.

Sorry posted to soon.
It's not a sex thing. I just think she is the most wonderful, beautiful person I've ever met and I can't stop thinking about her.

well, if you are married, this is a futile question, isn't it? will have to stay a fantasy.

I'm not even sure what I'm asking. Im just really confused.

Yes of course but it's thrown me completely thrown me because I've never felt like this about a woman before.

is it not at all a sex thing?
if you can love someone platonically, then it's not really confusing imo.

Any chance you are bi?? Serious question x

if OP was bi, she'd HAVE sexual thoughts too.

I don't know. I would always have said no but now I'm not so sure.

Are you worried by the feelings? I don't think you should stress about it.

I definitely don't have sexual thoughts. But I could look at her all day she is so beautiful.

Sexuality is not set in stone - some people are mostly straight or mostly gay but may be attracted to one or two people who are not their usual preference.

hisgentletouch, was only asking ! Touchy !

Did she encourage you in any way, i.e. been especially nice/loving to you as a person/friend?
If your marriage is a bit cold, then warmth from a worthwhile person can really draw you to them (possibly too much). Are you hungry for romantic love, in other words?

top, I didn't mean it in any wrong way, just analysing.

She has been really nice to me. We met a few months ago at a group and were instantly drawn to each other. We have clicked in a way I've never done before. I can't stop thinking about her though. I feel like I want to put my arms around her and hug her.
My relationship with dh is not very physical. We don't have sex and I never really want to cuddle him.

Hi OP, did you see my thread from recent past? very similar situation (though I'm not married), I can't believe how similar your feelings are to what I feel (can look at her all day, want to put my arms arouns her), I found that it starts with very loving thoughts, then it does progress to wanting physical proximity if not actual sex (as I also never thought I was bi before, so it takes a while to think in sexual terms). Nothing happened so far as we are in sporadic contact but will become clear soon as will spend more time together. But I'm not hopeful really. It's very frustrating if these feeling have nowhere to go, in your case also as you are married - it does sound bad that you don't want to be physical with dh, is he ok with that? is she single? I think love for a woman can be more pure and therefore more 'proper' than for a man, it's much more tender or protective in my (limited) experience.

btw are you of similar age and in daily contact? this could help if anything were to develop...you could be indeed hungry for romantic love as been suggested (I know I am) which may have no relation to reality (sigh).

We are of a similar age. We both have the same number of children. She is single.

TonofBricks, I didn't see your thread but I'll have a search and read it.

She understands me like only another woman could. She just totally gets me. I'm not about to leave my husband of embark on an affair but the strength of my feelings for her has blown me away. I feel so confused. Really does it even matter if I was bi because I can't do anything about it now anyway. Could I have really got to 37 without realising I was bi?

And yes I probably do long for romantic love. Romance is certainly lacking in my life.

I wonder how much time have you spent together - it's amazing that she totally understands you after a brief event - or are you in daily contact? it sounds like it's not so much her beauty you admire but the 'soul', if you like? Unfortunately for me I'm 15yrs younger than my 'interest' and therefore the contact wasn't so easy and flowing but I understand her and feel her feelings iykwim, I don't think she particular understands or loves me though (as a person) even though she was a bit flirty at some point as I complimented her, so your situation is better. But yes, it's futile unless you H wouldn't mind as you have no sex or even hugs anyway, he could also see it just as deep friendship - anyway if she's not bi nothing else can happen. But I was knocked out for six myself (never happened before) hence my 'name'! slightly calmer now after three months, but no less love.

on my thread people were saying that often potentially bi women only realise they aer bi when older ,or after having children, because having children takes priority in youth and you need a man, but later it's about what you actually feel and want for yourself emotionally (and you are mature so not as brainwashed by society norms).

Memoo, I can totally relate. Don't want to say too much about it on here but it has turned into the biggest crush of my life and has made me very seriously question my sexuality. To the point that DH and I have discussed separation.

That makes so much sense TonofBricks. I do feel like I'm in a period of my life where I'm just beginning to find the real me.
I do get to spend quite a bit of time around this woman and she is definitely as drawn to me as I am to her. I do find her soul beautiful :) she is beautiful in every way. I have to stop myself looking at her because I do it so much I think she'll end up thinking I'm odd.

Wow, this is so huge and frustrating because I can never do anything about it.

Reclaiming, I've actually thought of leaving dh too.

Yeah, I can't stop looking either. I see her almost every day at work. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever met with a personality to match. If only she was interested in me, I'd drop everything for her.