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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Fuming

45 replies

petesyfronts · 27/01/2006 21:45

Me and my partner are currently saving for a holiday, we're supposed to be booking it next month and he knows how excited me and the kids are about it.

Anyway yesterday he came home from work acting all strange, kept asking me if I was tired and what time was I going to bed. I ended up getting annoyed and going to bed around 11:30 but laid awake wondering what was going on with him. I heard him go outside and come back when he thought I was sleeping and heard him faffing around with something. I left it for 10 minutes and then 'sneaked' downstairs for a 'drink'...he was only sat there with a new xbox360 he'd taken £300 out of the joint account where the holiday money was and bought himself one on the sly after numerous discussions where I told him we couldnt afford one.

Im fuming, he's so selfish, self centred, childish and pig headed. I havnt spoken to him today but he thinks Im over-reacting. We CANT afford xboxs, we can barely afford this holiday. Im so depressed and stressed over it all.

OP posts:
Carmenere · 27/01/2006 21:46

tosser

hercules · 27/01/2006 21:47

Jesus, that's appalling.

fannylover · 27/01/2006 21:47

OMG! if dp did that, AND was so sneaky about it I would seriously kill him.... really, that is TOTALLY out of order!

expatinscotland · 27/01/2006 21:47

That would f*cking PISS ME OFF. I mean, that was for his KIDS ffs! A holiday for his KIDS.

Man, I'd be ragin'. That Xbox would go back to the shop. Sorry, but it would.

Aimsmum · 27/01/2006 21:48

Message withdrawn

hercules · 27/01/2006 21:49

I would make sure it goes back and you then spend some time discussing your relationship.

fannylover · 27/01/2006 21:49

do you know what? i'd fucking leave dp if he did that!

he WAS planning something similar though, which luckily for him fell through...

men are bloody tossers when it comes to these things.
TRASH IT

beansprout · 27/01/2006 21:50

This is a grown man with kids? Sorry, that is p*ss poor.

Kathlean · 27/01/2006 21:50

I'd book a holiday for you and your kids. He has just HAD his holiday.

motherinferior · 27/01/2006 21:51

WTF? It's going back.

VeniVidiVulvaQV · 27/01/2006 21:51

Take it back to the shop or sell it on ebay.

Or book the holiday less him.

What a selfish pig.

galaxy · 27/01/2006 21:52

Tell him to take it back or you will need to have a serious conversation about your future. That is a total abuse of your trust. If he can't be trusted over money, what else can't he be trusted about?

poppiesinaline · 27/01/2006 21:52

Very for you. That is awful. I was def take it back. Whether he likes it or not. Or just book a hol for you and the kids and say he spent his hol money on 'his little toy' so he can't come!

hercules · 27/01/2006 21:53

sadly it's not really about the money though.

hercules · 27/01/2006 21:54

It's as galaxy says. It speaks so much more. What is the rest of your relationship like?

ShaysMummy · 27/01/2006 21:55

oh....my....god!!!!
my hubby wants a 360 but settled for a 2nd hand normal xbox off ebay....even hubby cant believe it!!!
i would probably trash it too!

expatinscotland · 27/01/2006 21:57

I'd trash him instead and sell the f*cking box.

wannaBe1974 · 27/01/2006 22:00

I'll buy it off ya, i wanna get a 360 for my DH for his birthday so if you're selling ...

Meanoldmummy · 27/01/2006 22:00

Oh petesyfronts, I was so for you when I read this. You must be so hurt and disappointed. I know I would be inconsolable. What a child he must be.

I haven't got any advice, I'm sure you'll get plenty of that on here, but I'm really upset for you.

catsmother · 27/01/2006 22:01

Definitely go without him ..... if you can.

Still, that won't stop kids asking where Daddy is will it ? And it'll mean that you'd have to shoulder 100% of their care.

What has he actually asid about this ? .... if he thinks your over-reacting, does he have realistic plans to replace the money prior to the holiday, and/or is he prepared to sell other of his belongings to make up what he stole ?

If he genuinely thought he was doing no wrong, why did he sneak in after you'd gone to bed ? Was he going to hide it again after coming to bed himself ?

What a pathetic, immature, selfish w*anker - I know it'd have been a waste of money but I'd have been very tempted to take a hammer to the blasted thing (him or the pathetic little boy's toy - take your pick)

moondog · 27/01/2006 22:07

What awanker!!
(Don't even know what a 360Xthingo is,but imagine its some useless game thing.)
Leave him-you'd be better off without this millstone around your neck,dragging you down.

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 27/01/2006 22:24

you have to bat this back to him. It's like dealing with a child - he has to understand that actions have consequences and he has to deal with those consequences. He obviously needs it spelling out to him. Give him the options and tell him HE has to decide

  • sell it on ebay
  • sell something else on ebay or find £300
  • keep it and not come on holiday with you and explain to the kids why.

going on a cheaper holiday is NOT one of the options. There is no rational reason why you and the kids should have to compromise cos of his spending.

I honestly think you are dealing with a kid here - think of all those parenting tips - keep calm, don;t be angry, make him take control, he's far more likely to feel crap than if you argue

Aloha · 27/01/2006 22:25

Why do grown men want toys to play with? I genuinely and honestly don't understand this. As for toys at the expense of their children's holiday...words truly fail me.

hercules · 27/01/2006 22:26

Who wants to be with a kid for a partner though? I see what you are saying and I read it a lot on mumsnet but I dont get it. You are right in the way he is behaving but why does that mean she has to lower herself in order to treat her so called partner as another child. It's not good enough.

expatinscotland · 27/01/2006 22:28

You read my mind, hercules. Was just about to start a thread about it, actually, cuz I just don't understand what the attraction would be in the first place, much less to have kids w/such a cretin.

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