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Original poster

What do your DC call step grandparents?

43 replies

googietheegg · 26/02/2012 09:20

Just looking for some suggestions. About to have first DC and fil and step-mil will be visiting. What shall we/dc call step-mil? It's all a pretty new and tricky situation so it's not like we're really close, but I like her and want something other than just her name, but nothing that will upset my mil (she'll be 'gran').

OP posts:
hanaka88 · 26/02/2012 09:23

DS calls my stepdad grandad. Never been an issue. He calls my step mum 'momma' because thats what her kids call her. I'm not bothered.

EdithWeston · 26/02/2012 09:28

Ask your DH to negotiate it with them (and his DM if still living) before they arrive!

TheFallenMadonna · 26/02/2012 09:32

Mine call them by their names. But they live than and make no distinction. I heard DS say he had to phone his grandad on his birthday, meaning my mum's partner. He calls my dad and DH's dad grandad.

TheFallenMadonna · 26/02/2012 09:33

They love them.

CarpeJugulum · 26/02/2012 09:33

DS will call step-gran "granny" or similar as he will never know my mum Sad as she died about 10 years ago, so not overly helpful in your situation.

Have you maybe thought about "granny/nanny/nonna-" but just plain granny for your MIL - that way the relationship is acknowledged but only MIL is the undisputed granny (apart from your side of course!).

vvviola · 26/02/2012 09:37

Step-MIL asked originally to be called a version of her name that other young relatives had used - sounded a little like it could have had a connection to 'grandma'. (Thing Ammie if her name was Amanda). Was fine with us.

Then, just before she came to stay with us, I noticed DH referring to her a lot more by her first name when talking to DD. Then, while staying with us, I noticed her correcting DD and calling herself "Granny X". I stayed out of it, but DH didn't seem comfortable with this (FIL had, by this stage, passed away, and things were a little tense)

My advice - agree on a name - any name! - and then stick with it, or you have the potential for lots of passive-aggressive 'correcting'. Or maybe that's just the chaos that was DH's family after FIL died.

LaCoccinelle · 26/02/2012 09:40

Our DC have 3 step-grandparents, they are all called by their first names (or a diminutive version, eg Joanie for Joan). Me and DH are not close to our step-parents so calling them anything else wasn't really considered.

Fuzzywuzzywozabear · 26/02/2012 09:59

I'm called "nanny first name"

Strangely the biological grandparents are called "nanny surname"

It sort of evolved on its own

Sapphirefling · 26/02/2012 10:04

Ex step Mil is 'Grandma first name'
My dads partner is called by her first name and that probably wouldn't change if they did get married.

ElusiveCamel · 26/02/2012 10:31

My son calls his 4 biological grandparents and my step father 'Grandpa Name' or 'Granny Name'. He sees my mum and step father the most and will also call my step father by his name, but completely considers him to be his grandfather - he is far more of one than my father or exFIL

Original poster
googietheegg · 26/02/2012 13:51

Good suggestions, thank you. I like the idea of something using her name that's special to being a granny but won't step on mil's toes.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 26/02/2012 13:57

I am called Nanny (insert first name), my stepkids bio mother is "Nanny (her first name)...

nizlopi · 26/02/2012 14:51

my son calls his step grandma 'Nanna Sue'

areyoumad · 26/02/2012 14:57

My DSS calls my mum by her first name (her request) and calls his mums husbands parents (granny and grandpa), his other bio grandparents are granny and grandad and nanna and grandad, I get so confused we normally end up with granny at (place where they live), granny at (different place where they live). while he rolls his eyes at me for blatantly not knowing whos who. Grin

MissAnnersley · 26/02/2012 15:02

My DS calls his stepmum's parents Gran (first name) and Grandad (first name).

They are very good to him and treat him like a grandchild. I don't know what my mum and ex-MIL think about it as I have never asked.

It's about the child IMO. DS loves them and wants to do this.

colditz · 26/02/2012 15:05

By first name, although it's not reallyimportant as they barely see her.

StetsonsAreCool · 26/02/2012 15:06

My Grandad remarried when I was 6 or 7. We called his second wife Aunty [name] - she didn't want to be any variation of Gran/Nan etc as she didn't want the grandchildren to think she was replacing our actual Granny, or for the youngest ones to think that Granny had never been there.

Her name was Nancy though, so as we got older we sometimes dropped the Aunty bit, and sometimes shortened her name to Nan, which worked well (or not depending on your viewpoint)

TwllBach · 26/02/2012 15:08

I've often wondered this, as DP has three pairs of adults in his life that would want to be seen as GPs and since my parents split up there is the potential for two pairs on my side. Complicated, but I'm sure for any DC it will just mean five presents instead of two Grin

I realise that this post is next to no help, sorry!

AnitaBlake · 26/02/2012 15:17

There's so much complexity in our family, we've decided to just go with whatever a biological child would call the grandparent. So my mum is called Nana by both SD and DD, my dad is granda to both girls and his wife is Gran. Otherwise it would just be too complicated.

In SDs other family, she has no idea that Grandad isn't genetically related to her. So we took our lead from that.

MiladyGardenia · 26/02/2012 15:32

Ds1 calls my PILs Grandma and Grandpa, as ds2 does but calls his biological GPs Granny and Grandad.

squeakytoy · 26/02/2012 15:43

I should add, I have been in my granddaughters life all of her life, so she has only ever known her grandad to be with me. Her mums mother divorced when GD was 3, so she knew her maternal grandparents as a couple and their new partners are just called by their first names now...

marriednotdead · 26/02/2012 15:54

Our family is hugely blended and I am step grandmother to two little ones. As they both have contact with their 'proper' grandmothers the agreement is that they call me auntie.

This gives me family status without stepping on anyone's toes.

MaybeBBaby · 26/02/2012 15:54

My DS calls my step mum nanny, as she is the only mum ive got and i call her mum. He calls my stepmums partner 'pop' as i call him by his name (not close) and no one will ever replace my dad in any sense. Double standard on my part but its personal choice.

RabidEchidna · 26/02/2012 16:15

My sons age 15 and 11 call DPs parents by their first names

TheSinglePringle · 26/02/2012 16:17

My son calls my mums husband 'gan gan' which is something he came out with his self and calls my dad 'grandad'.

He doesn't call my dads girlfriend anything

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