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Relationships

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How Do You Know When It's Time To Leave?

5 replies

Trafficlight · 20/02/2012 09:41

Basically, as the title says...I am just beginning to realise what a complete control freak my husband is. I've always pretty much just tagged along in our relationship, I was happy to be led, I've got quite a shady past and this is the first time I've ever lets say, lived within the law. Now we've had a baby and it's almost like if I even have an opinion on something then I'm either trying to control the whole baby raising thing or I'm causing an argument. I can argue, but I'm not confrontational, it's usually a build up of things for me, I usually just let shit slide til I explode. Recently though he's been so childish about everything doing things to provoke me; for instance, baby been ill for about 2 weeks and hardly eaten, eventually perks up, husband then says he feels rough but offers to sleep in the spare room - which I thought was quite noble - but then on his way up to bed he said no, he will sleep in the family room and that we cannot wrap the baby in cotton wool forever, we argued because I felt he wasn't considering baby's health and just to prove a point he went upstairs and took the baby out of his cot and put him to sleep with him in the bed. He's never done this, I do this, he never does this. Then when I wanted to take him out on Saturday believing fresh air to be good for him, because my husband decided that he wasn't at his best that I shouldn't go out, and therefore I didn't go out, I actually feel sick typing this all out to be honest because that's how helpless I felt that day.)

OP posts:
Trafficlight · 20/02/2012 09:52

He's also said that if I "want to leave, there's the door, but don't think you're taking our son with you". That scares me.

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HotDAMNlifeisgood · 20/02/2012 10:03

Your husband is a controlling arse.

Your past doesn't mean that you don't have the right to be treated with equality and respect and empathy.

It sounds like you're at the start of your journey, questioning his behaviour, so I would encourage you to read the links and maybe speak to the ladies on this thread.

Also, that comment about your child is a threat. Shows just what kind of a man he is. Don't worry: the law is there to protect you, and he will not be able to keep your child from you.

Regarding your header question, here's a book on that topic.

and an even better book for you by the same author.

Trafficlight · 20/02/2012 10:28

But I was the one who said that if he is working his way to a life living on his own, he's going the right way about it, so I threatened him first no?
He has been a real arse lately yes, this is the worst it's ever been, he is usually such a perfect man that it's all a little too hard to take in. Am I now making excuses? Because when he talks and points out my faults, I can see him points but it's only now that I have to start thinking that it cannot be just me.

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HotDAMNlifeisgood · 20/02/2012 10:30

It's not just you.

Do read the links and books above.

Trafficlight · 20/02/2012 10:32

I'm looking now..

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