Will I ever meet anyone? :-(

[MuckyBedding]

Been single for around 2 years, relationship before that was shit so it's been a LONG time since I've had that "lurve" feeling.

I'm so worried that I'll never meet anyone. I'm 30 years old, have a decent career and enough money to pay everything I need to pay and have some left for luxuries, holidays etc. I'm told I'm attractive, I keep myself fit, I'm motivated and enthusiastic, pretty fun I'd like to think - yet I'm seemingly on the shelf :-(

All my friends are married or at least with someone, I feel so sad about it all. I want to go on holiday with my significant other, I want to jump in the car and go away for the weekend on the spare of the moment - I want all the normal stuff and yes I know it's not all cute and rosy but I still want it!

I don't think I'd meet anyone at work (nursing) and although I do go to the gym, I never seem to meet anyone there either. Not much time for any other hobbies but I do go out now and again with friends and never meet anyone then either.

I'm dreading spending another Christmas alone :( last year was awful.

Is there a chance I could end up alone forever? :-(

No words of comfort here, i feel the same way though. Except, I have 4 children and cant imagine a man wanting to take that on. You have the opportunity to get out there socialise, meet friends of friends and do pretty much what you please so do it! He's out there i'm sure!!

I didn't meet my Mister until I was 32 and I had never had any real relationships at all before then. I was in your situation wondering if it would ever happen when suddenly he turned up. Just hang in there... :D

Oohmeback, I'm sure your children wouldn't put off a decent man! One of mine has behavioural problems so that will be a test for any potential man lol

Dorothy, how did you meet him?

Your life sounds pretty fantastic, actually!

A romantic relationship is not the be-all and end-all. It's just a "nice to have".

Keep living your life for your own self, and then if/when you meet someone, it will be someone who will actually add to your fantastic life, or you wouldn't look at them twice. And as long as you don't meet anyone, you'll still be having a fulfilling time of it.

mucky you didnt mention children, how many do you have?

I think you need to find something you're passionate about and get involved in it.
I wanted to meet a lovely person so I started doing some charity work (figuring it would attact nice, generous people) and lo & behold met my husband.
Worked for a friend too.

But it may be that you love books (join a book group) or surfing or erm well, anything except p'haps something with a higher-than-average pick up rate by eligible men. Polo?

I'm the same as you except 10 years older and no kids and no men are interested in me.

Like you, I'm told I'm attractive, I exercise a lot, have a fab job which makes me financially independent, nice home and social life etc. I frequently clock men looking at me in the street or pub etc, but no one man has made a move on me in 8 years (and believe me, that knocks out any arrogance that last sentence may infer!). Men I fancy aren't interested in me. I think I must be faulty.

Pretty much resigned to being single for the rest of my life.

I have two children, one is a very independent 13 year old, the other is 11 and although he is getting better, he does have a few behavioural problems but nothing major. He's in mainstream school, achieving national average grades (or just under in maths). We're not the Adams family or anything. I just don't understand how I ended up like this. DS1 is going to Berlin for a week in the summer with school, we're going on holiday as a family in August - we're fun people!!

Don't get me wrong, I am kind of content with my life. I'm healthy and that is the most important thing. We have financial stability, I have a lot to be thankful for but when you're sat in a Turkish restaurant surrounded by loved up couples and the topic of conversation at my table is the latest Ghost Rider movie or WWE storylines - I can't help feeling a little fed up

Im in the same situation, just a year and a half further along than you.

I would never had of imagined i would have been single for so long, my life is great, and on the whole i wouldnt swap it, but i get odd times when i get so, so fed up of always being on my own.

I have no advice, just a ' its not just you'

You could be my friend. Except she's 32 and 3 years without so much as a date. Its really strange and when she talks to me about it I just don't know what to say especially as we both know some right idiots who (on the surface) seem to have great relationships with people who adore them. Its really getting her down - why does this happen? She's a great person, sounds like you are too :)

I met him at a festival in the beer tent after lots of decent organic beer. He was 100% not my usual type but I adore him :)

Mucky do you go out without your children at all?

With Muckybedding's permission, could anyone reading this thread who has had a second/third/fourth chance at love please post:

Where you met them.
Were you actively looking?
How old you were.
Whether you had children and, if so, what ages.
How long was it between the end of the relationship and the start of the new proper one (not just when you started dating but when you met THE ONE).
Anything else that might help.

Thank you.
I feel the same a Muckybedding and think that some positive anecdotes would be wonderful.

Hope that's okay with you MB. x

Great idea Separated! Looking forward to the responses x

Thank you.
Me too...ho hum...
Please give us hope people!

I met my DH after signing up to Match.com! Loved it as you can accurately define what you're looking for/what you are all about. People still look a bit awkward when I tell them about how we met but sod it, sometimes you need to expand your circle and this is a good way to do it IMO.

P.S. Dating history: got engaged to first proper boyfriend, horrible traumatic breakup, two years of feeling miserable and alone, brief relationship with a sulky depressive (great choice hey) and then signed up to Match on the basis that there must be some better options out there. Very glad I did...

I met my boyfriend on OKCupid, I was 34 (almost 35) and he was 39 (nearly 40). He's the first guy I've ever felt "long term-ish" about (I've only had 6 month - 2 year relationships before).

Met the love of my life at 42 (nearly a year and a half ago) after a failed marriage each, a failed long-term relationship each, three DDs between us between 3 and 14. We may have got it spectacularly wrong in the past but we are happier now than we have ever been and are blissfully in love.

We met through online dating and although we were 'dabbling' and had low expectations of meeting someone we could really get along with, we could not be more impressed with the actual outcome!

Never give up hope...

Ooh, that's lovely to hear some success stories!
Feeling any better yet MuckyBedding?

Take up mountain biking. There seems to be a ratio of about 10 fit & healthy men to every woman on the trails. There are lots of clubs around with people who will lend you a bike and give you a helping hand. It has worked for friends.

It's good to hear the positive stories about new relationships. I like to think that there will be a future for me at 36. Not that I'm unhappy single, but I'd like to think I will experience love (and sex!) again one day.

Same here Worldwithwings. Except that i have just turned 39 (but I still get asked for ID!)

Where you met them Lecturing on an intro course on our work discipline
Were you actively looking? No, I had utterly given up
How old you were. 34
Whether you had children and, if so, what ages. No, I was single and childless
How long was it between the end of the relationship and the start of the new proper one (not just when you started dating but when you met THE ONE). 13 bloody long years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anything else that might help. Just live your life, be happy. If a man shows an interest, let him! Don't put up barriers (I did).

We married within 18 months, baby 10 months later. 2nd 2 1/2 yrs later again. I love him with all my heart.

Ah. That's lovely after waiting for so long. I'm not trying to take over OP's thread, but I can't read without commenting. So pleased for you.

I met my DH when I was 32, had had 2 serious relationships and left both as I wasn't ready to settle down and was a bit "wild" and enjoying life to the full shall we say, not with guys but with going out getting hammered every weekend! In my 30s I realised I was competely fed up with this, so I bought a place to live, put down some roots, and finally seemed to grow up a little.
I was in a very, very happy place when I met DH. I was financially independent, confident and happily single.
We met in a pub, I never thought I'd meet anyone interesting in this particular pub.
He was 6 yrs younger htan me and had never been in a serious relationship.
We fell for one another pretty quickly.
After maybe 1.5 years we moved in together officially.

Got married when I was 35 and have 3 small kiddies now.
We've been togehter just over 10 years.
I had been single for almost 3 years when I met DH.