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Original poster

Not speaking to me *again*

53 replies

Geordieminx · 18/02/2012 10:15

Went out last night for friends birthday. Had intended getting last train home @ 12, but kinda didn't.

Text Dh at 12,30 to say we had missed train but not to worry. No response.

Got home (after a fab night Blush) about 3.30

He's not speaking to me. At all.

I have apologised but inside I'm screaming "so fucking what I went out"

I feel about 15.

Sorry tis a bit of a meh post. Hungover and feeling sorry for myself.

OP posts:
ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 18/02/2012 11:32

fuckity you're right, lots of people would be outraged if the worrier was the woman, but at the same time many people would be saying "he's on a night out, he's never given you a reason to doubt him, he's an adult and can make his way home, he kept you informed," etc

It's perfectly natural for people to worry, and if that's the reason for his behaviour, I can see where he's coming from. But the silent treatment is vile and manipulative.

Original poster
Geordieminx · 18/02/2012 11:37

I don't think for one minute that he was worried unfortunately. Sad

OP posts:
ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 18/02/2012 11:44

So what is it that's provoked him? Sorry, I know I'm going on a bit but people who sulk REALLY irritate me! Incidentally, why doesn't he go out with his friends?

Original poster
Geordieminx · 18/02/2012 11:48

Just cos I went out. If I was back at 12 he would have been huffy that I was pissed.

Doesnt have many/any

OP posts:
JustHecate · 18/02/2012 11:48

stop begging forgiveness. He is being really horrible.

Just go about your day, totally ignoring the fact that he isn't talking to you. Act like you haven't noticed and wouldn't care if you did.

If you have anything to say to him, say it and act like you don't notice if he doesn't reply.

I bloody hate sulkers. It is so manipulative.

When he has finished sulking, will he have a conversation with you or does any attempt to address the behaviour result in more sulking?

Original poster
Geordieminx · 18/02/2012 11:51

You know I just thought he was at a work overnighter last month got hammered didn't get back to his room til 4. No contact all night, I didn't have a problem.

Can't see the difference.

Bacon is sizzling music loud. I rock Grin

OP posts:
Gumby · 18/02/2012 11:53

I think he sounds awful

My dh doesn't mind me going out

I'd text if I was going to be late, which you did

It's not your fault he has no friends to play with

genevacalling · 18/02/2012 11:54

The difference is that he's taking your going out as a slight.

The silent treatment means the sulker can't articulate why they're pissed off, which usually means they know subconsciously they're unreasonable to be annoyed and are angry at the other person for 'making them' jealous or whatever..

LesserOfTwoWeevils · 18/02/2012 11:58

How does he handle other disagreements?

Original poster
Geordieminx · 18/02/2012 12:04

Handles other arguments the same. If I do something to piss him off rather than telling me and moving on he just stops speaking to me, even of I apologize.

I actually have no idea why he is angry.

To be honest, he has done this, gone out, promised to be OM train and disappeared off radar until 3, so I really fail to see how it's ok for him but not me.

I'm not sorry anymore. Fuck him. He wants me to trail round after him being sorry, and all apologetic, but actually there is piss all to sorry for.

OP posts:
bonzo77 · 18/02/2012 12:06

He's A dick. But what were you doing between 12.30 and 3 when you got in? And why did you leave it til 1230 to text him? You knew you'd missed that train as soon as it left the station, or as soon as it was too late to make it to the station from where you were. If my DH did what you had done I might not have gone silent but I would have been livid. Leaving me to entertain bored son while he chilled out at home. Especially if he were ourmuch more iften than me. Sorry OP, his dealing with it in a childish way, but I have some sympathy for him.

genevacalling · 18/02/2012 12:06

that's the spirit.

Be cheerful, do stuff with DS, act like you haven't noticed the 'silent treatment'. Be serene.

Bossybritches22 · 18/02/2012 12:11

No don't play his games,it's pathetic . Do what you need/want to today if he does stay out with DS & when he comes back just keep up a happy chatter to your DS and still address remarks to DH but ignore any silences or sarky comments.

This what I do to the kids when they're sulking, I give them hugs or just a stroke in passing, and totally refuse to play the "look I'm upset " game.

piratecat · 18/02/2012 12:13

yes, how did you get home in the end, was there another train you got or a cab?

Original poster
Geordieminx · 18/02/2012 12:21

Mate and I got a cab (she lives in same street)

OP posts:
LesserOfTwoWeevils · 18/02/2012 12:24

If you don't apologise, how long does he keep up the sulking?
And I'm sure you've been on MN long enough to know that sulking over an incident like this is a big red flag...

Original poster
Geordieminx · 18/02/2012 12:28

A day? Maybe more?

Sad
OP posts:
Hullygully · 18/02/2012 12:31

People sulk when they are angry, but know it's unreasonable.

MigratingCoconuts · 18/02/2012 12:35

what do you plan to do about it?

cos if you do nothing, this will be the way he respnds every time for the rest of the relationship Sad

Sposh · 18/02/2012 13:24

My dh used to do this. Always after I'd had a night out too Hmm

One time he kept it up for three days (not his record btw, he could keep it up for a week if he tried hard enough). On day three I texted him and told him not to come home and when I invited him back the day after that I told him that I would not tolerate him treating me like a cunt anymore and that he needed to grow up. He's not done it since, that was a shocker I can tell you! Shock

Original poster
Geordieminx · 18/02/2012 15:20

He is back.

Brought me a steak bake and a can of red bull. Think that's as close to an apology as I'm gonna getSmile

OP posts:
MigratingCoconuts · 18/02/2012 16:51

good to see that romance is alive and kicking Grin

Original poster
Geordieminx · 18/02/2012 17:58

The red bull was appreciated. The steak bake was not ((((Boak))))

OP posts:
midwife99 · 18/02/2012 18:06

Still no affection though? Perhaps he was frightened that someone else would chat you up (what with you being so gorgeous and all!!) Wink

Ginga66 · 19/02/2012 01:17

God this sounds so familiar. My dh hates me going out or basically having social life as he just does not really doit himself. He also sulks for days on end audits exhausting. And he insistson equal time even though he technically gets more time to himself as he is not at work most nursery days. I soooo sympathize but agree it is a control issue and u need to just ignore this childish behaviour, or even better be super nice so u can get the moral high ground x