Feeling so irrationally angry at DP because of EVERYTHING he does

[IrritatedMary]

We've just been to the cinema. I asked him to buy "cinema sweets" from asda as we normally do because it's cheaper. So later we get in the cinema and he pulls out two 4 packs of Daim bars and a BOX of maltesers. 2 of the Daim bars had already been eaten and when I pulled out another daim bar for myself and temporarily put it on my knee he took it and ate it. Apart from that, who the fuck sits there eating BARS in the cinema? It was ridiculous, far too much noise and faffing so I ended up saving them until after the film. I'm sat here thinking about it and I feel so, so angry. Everything he does annoys me.

*He told the doctor he had trouble "working" a normal asthma inhaler so the doctor gave him a children's "disk" inhaler. How can anyone NOT work a fucking inhaler?? Apparantly most children don't need these type and they're normally used by children with learning difficulties.

*He eats curry with a spoon.

*In bed he things he looks at me and grins, mouth open and tongue wagging from side to side - is this supposed to be sexy? because it makes me feel ill.

*He nags and nags and nags for sex and when I give in eventually so I can sleep he can't get it up anyway.

*Gaslighting. I start to turn the car left and he says "you're better off going left here." I say "err I am!" and he says "yes because I just pointed it out to you". No, I'd already started turning!! "but you wouldn't have if I hadn't told you the way"

I'm sat here seething. He makes me cross. Without even trying. He's embarrassing. I'm just ranting.

What I'm trying to ask is has anyone else ever suddenly started to get intensly irritated by their partners for no "solid" reason?

You view your husband with contempt. End the relationship - I don't think it can recover.

Sorry - partner, not husband.

Dosen't everyones oh do things to annoy them somtimes? My dh eats pretty much everything with a spoon. Doesn't bother me, why would it? It sounds like you don't love the guy for who he is.

End it.

But TBH you hardly sound like a catch yourself.

You don't enjoy his company so if I were you I'd end it.

You should have waited for the 'right one'.
I'm sure he hasn't changed.
I'm sure he's always been like this.
You need to upgrade.
Meet somebody who brings duck pate to the pictures and some good port to sip on.

Or rather, goose pate.
Yum, had some recently in the middle of the Nevada desert.

I don't think you sound like a bad person at all OP. You sound at the end of your tether with him. That's not necessarily his fault, but it's where you are. Things that were funny or easy to ignore when you were happy are now all you can see.

If it's any consolation, I have a friend who knows his relationships have reached their end when, not only does everything they do irritates him, but he starts to think their breath smells. I've met all his girlfriends, none have had dental hygenie breakdowns that I'm aware of, just it's his mind saying very firmly that the person is absolutely wrong.

Do you see yourself splitting up? Can you think of his good qualities?

The dime bar thing would have fucked me right off as well, thieving git

You aren't an awful person at all, you're just not in love anymore by the sounds of it.

If you don't have children, break up RIGHT NOW.

If you do, book some counselling.

OP, are you surrounded by people who tell you in various ways that you should simply put up with this man because the alternative is being single? Do they suggest that you are getting on a bit and therefore might end up 'on the shelf', and that a woman is nothing without a man?
Do bear in mind that being single is fine, much better than being in an unsatisifactory relationship, and that just because a man doesn't beat you up or take all your money doesn't mean you have to put up with him or that you must feel bad about binning him and rush into finding a replacement. It is not compulsory for a woman to have A Man In Her Life and utter bullshit that any man will do and you have to engage in a relationship with the first man who offers (or demands) one.

I LOVED being single.

SIGH.... AAAGH

Where's Hully? She would suggest that you KILL HIM.

The OP comes across as a petulent,needy,entitled child.

If anything this bloke has had a lucky escape.

Why are you in this relationship? Is it because you love him, or because you are frightened of being single?

Being irritated all day, every day, by your partner, is not good for your health.

*The OP comes across as a petulent,needy,entitled child.

If anything this bloke has had a lucky escape.*

No she doesn't. She just comes across as someone no longer in love with DP and so everything he says and does is annoying to her. She's recognised feeling this way isn't usual and has asked for advice.

Not suprised he can't get it up with u, sorry but you sound a bit of a fussy cow!

I eat curry with a spoon and chocolate bars in the cinema!

Break up by all means, he deserves better!

I used to feel like that about my ex boyfriend. The way he walked a few feet behind me all the time, the way he would drink two pints of water at once (cos he'd read you need to drink two pints of water a day) then complain he felt bloated, not knowing where Italy was on a map, etc etc.

I put up with it for ages because I thought it was my fault for being intolerant, but then got rid because I thought I might actually end up killing him. It turns out I'm not (that) intolerant; he was just an irritating arse.

I suppose I should add that I don't feel the same about my current DP of 8 years, so it isn't just that I'm a bitch, just that ex and I were incompatible and it manifested itself as irritation. I ended up hating myself for being so horrible.

So, OP, for both your sakes, get rid.

Nobody has mentioned the sitting in bed with tongue rolling from side to side as being, well, scary

getting--hahahahahahahahaha

Has there been a string of things that he hasn't followed through on or shown you a lack of respect that has led to this irritation? I'm irritated by my Hs breathing along with everything else. I think that as long as we are around each other every day that I'm not going to get un-irritated and every day it just builds bigger. It sounds like one of you needs to go on a vacation or getaway for a little while so you have a chance to let the irritation fade.

Have you told him that that tongue wagging is a turn off? Tell him what turns you on.

He sounds childish. As an adult, that would irritate me too if I had to deal with it everyday. I want an adult partner who acts like an adult, not like a three year old.

Oh also, you may just need some space. Like going out with friends sometimes or spending the day out shopping while he stays home or whatever. For me, too much togetherness can really make it hard to ignore little annoyances on a day to day basis.

The Daim bars thing would irritate me too. And the tongue wagging thing sounds unpleasant.

It doesn't really matter what the issues are that irritate you because sometimes you reach a stage where whatever someone does irritates you as a sign of your greater disatisfaction.

He sounds really irritating. Why don't you just break up with him and then you don't have to tolerate it anymore. Being this irritated is bad for you and you might even be tempted to do something bad like have an affair or strangle him. I think you are just not with the right guy, maybe one of you has changed.

To put things in perspective, you sound like you would irritate me quite a bit however that does not make you a bad or irritating person - just not someone for me!

When I was falling out of love with my now exH, he'd eat curry with a spoon too - which, like you, drove me nuts. Just the way he stood irritated me. It was because I no longer loved or liked him - we split up. Now, my current DP, if he were to eat curry with a rusty saw I'd still love him!