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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Shagbook?

46 replies

MairyHinge · 13/02/2012 14:28

Oh has given his old iPhone to our son,and we were playing about with it, he wanted to see if his emails could be on there so we opened the inbox and there's a email saying you have a private message from on Shagbook,
I feel sick.
* oh name and woman's name.
Can this be done by accident or has he been actively looking?

OP posts:
lisaro · 13/02/2012 14:29

What's Shagbook? It sounds really iffy.

usualsuspect · 13/02/2012 14:31

I would think it was a spam email tbh

squeakytoy · 13/02/2012 14:33

Well to be fair, she has sent HIM a message, which doesnt mean that he has played any part in it at all.

Have you asked your husband? Are you friends with him on Facebook, and is this woman a friend of his on facebook?

Facebook recently changed it's format, which meant that anyone who sent a chat messages (a bit like MSN) live on the screen while you are logged in, gets sent to the other person as a private message.. which is very confusing, not to mention annoying if you have facebook updates on your phone as I do.

Also, it is quite easy that way not to see those messages too when you log back into Facebook, as if you have tried to see it via your phone, but not bothered to open it and read it on your phone, there may not be a notification on your facebook to remind you to look at it.

squeakytoy · 13/02/2012 14:34

oh hang on.. is shagbook actually a real site.. I wondered if it was a euphemism for facebook?

in which case, it certainly sounds like spam mail to me..

WorraLiberty · 13/02/2012 14:34

Having just Googled it....

Shagbook is an adult dating site that you have to sign up to

You need to provide your details including email address to become a member

GeekCool · 13/02/2012 14:35

www.datingscams.co.uk/2011/01/shagbook-com/

Ok, so potentially he HAS created a profile on this site, however depending on who you believe, the messages may be automated, so he may not be actually using the site.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 13/02/2012 14:36

Shagbook is a real site, used mostly by spammers. I'd say it's spam too, except that the spammer has the Op's dp's name.

GeekCool · 13/02/2012 14:40

Depends though, if his email is "[email protected]" for example then it would be easy to personalise. Many many mail marketing sites can easily add a field for customisation.

From what I read on the link I posted, to read messages, you need to pay for the inbox or something? So chances are it is spam to tempt to buy extra services (scuse wording)

MairyHinge · 13/02/2012 14:41

God. I can't make my mind up...has he signed up or not? Have they got his details from Facebook and he's innocent or what?????!!!! We went though a bad time this time last yr when he thought I was cheating ( I wasn't) and a lot of people said he's acting like he has to make me feel bad cos he's up to something. But when? He works long hours and then is at home!

OP posts:
Voidka · 13/02/2012 14:43

I get them all the time, mainly in my spam folder - X thinks your hot, X thinks your cute etc. If you click on the link it will take you to some advertising site.

BunnyLebowski · 13/02/2012 14:45

Shagbook has nothing whatsoever to do with Facebook.

It's one of numerous connected dating/no strings sex sites which all come under the White Label Dating company.

They send notification emails to whichever email address you used to register.

As far as I know they don't send unsolicited spam. It sounds to me like your H has signed up to it.

Sorry OP Sad

PacificDogwood · 13/02/2012 14:45

I get invitation from 'Fuckbook' all the time, and no, I am not signed up for it.
I also get invitations to purchase cheap Viagra, penis extentions, bigger boobs, receive millions to help out some poor Nigerian millionaire etc etc.
And yes, my email is something like [email protected], so no surprises really.

I think how I'd handle this in your shoes depends entirely how you feel about your OH and how much trust there is in your relationship. 'Oh look what we found when we played around with your phone' might be a better approach than all guns blazing.

Good luck.

GeekCool · 13/02/2012 14:46

Also companies DO buy mailing lists with emails, names etc on them. Shagbook could be an affiliate of another website (entirely 'innocent' website) and he hasn't ticked/unticked the 3rd party box.
I wouldn't jump to conclusions, if you can help it. I totally understand why you would though. I'd be a bit WTF? as well. Try to think about this rationally.

chris123456 · 13/02/2012 14:49

Just activate your radar and ask him face to face

squeakytoy · 13/02/2012 14:50

I would say it would be very easy for any computer with a virus to pick up random email addresses and spam them these days.. I have never been on any dodgy dating sites, yet there is apparently a gorgeous woman in my local area who cant wait to have fun with me, so I was informed today. Confused

GeekCool · 13/02/2012 14:51

I have spam from Christian Singles mingle or something. Their heathen filter must be switched off Grin

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 13/02/2012 14:53

Good point squeakytoy, my work address (public) gets tons of spam like that, my personal one (not advertised anywhere) doesn't. OP, how likely is your OH to have posted his email addy somewhere public?

karmathreefold · 13/02/2012 14:56

No, no, no! Shagbook will not have sent your OH a spam email - he would have had to have signed up for it - sorry.

They don't even send emails to addresses that aren't registered with them if you forget your password, and give them the wrong email address (such as if you are trying to find out if your DP secretly has an account and use the forgotten password form to discover if the email address is registered.

Shagbook is not associated with fuckbook either.

Finally Shagbook do not charge you for sending or receiving emails - this service is free...

So OP yes your OH must have signed up with them (whether to look or more is the real question), but it most certainly would not have been a spam email.

WorraLiberty · 13/02/2012 14:56

yet there is apparently a gorgeous woman in my local area who cant wait to have fun with me, so I was informed today Confused

ONE cup of tea at the soft play area....that's all I asked you!! Angry

usualsuspect · 13/02/2012 14:56

My email account got hacked and spammed all my address books with a 'Rate my picture' email

Geordieminx · 13/02/2012 14:57

Sorry pacific but I'm laughing Grin

squeakytoy · 13/02/2012 14:57

Karma, it is also quite possible that someone else signed the OPs OH up as a "joke".

usualsuspect · 13/02/2012 14:59

A quick google will tell you that they do send spam

MairyHinge · 13/02/2012 15:04

Thank you ladies. I've just been on the site, logged in with his email address and password ( he uses same password for everything), and he does have a profile on there but it's his name age and location, that's it. Almost looks like he signed up to be nosy but didn't go any further. If he wanted to read any private messages he would have to pay, and he hasn't signed up for that.
Thes no info about him in his profile.
Weird.
I'm gonna ask him tonight, just don't fancy opening old wounds up.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 13/02/2012 15:09

Sounds like he just signed up for a nosy , best of luck with your talk tonight