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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Relationships

pros and cons of waiting to have sex?

38 replies

MitchieInge · 08/02/2012 13:15

not the extreme of until you're married, I mean like 3rd date or further - is each situation entirely different and handled accordingly or are there some generally applicable Good Things about delaying? If you are hoping to develop a longer term thing I mean.

posting and running but interested in everyone's thoughts, thanks

OP posts:

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JuliaScurr · 09/02/2012 19:05

Mitchiest @ 16.26 are you also a hairy legged, flat-chested, man-hating, ugly lesbian? No? Not trying hard enough, are you?

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MitchieInge · 09/02/2012 19:13

haha the only bit I'm actually not is a lesbian

no, refuse to be flat chested. Look, they are not flat, am sticking them out.

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molly3478 · 09/02/2012 19:42

exactly mitchieinge dont ever think its you if they call you names unprovoked I think there are just some nutters out there!

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MitchieInge · 09/02/2012 19:51

I do seem to have a special gift for bringing the nutter out of the otherwise respectable, professional higher rate tax payer though and those in other tax brackets come to think of it

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SarahStratton · 09/02/2012 20:00

Join the club.

I'm remembering you, MrPlanes.

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MitchieInge · 09/02/2012 20:04

what happened with mr planes? have not kept up though did lurk on one of your threads and think you met him in lincoln and it was nice?

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noluck · 09/02/2012 20:07

Well after having been on several dates (drinks, lunches, dinners, numerous texts, mails) ... we had the most fantastic sex I've ever had... No news since. I'm a late learner. Well at least I had the fantastic bit..,,

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adamschic · 09/02/2012 20:10

I would do the 3 date rule and only then if I really fancied him. Up to you really, depends if you want a one night stand or a romance. You might get both but lots of men still have double standards and do one after a quick s--g.

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SquishyCinnamonSwirls · 09/02/2012 20:15

I don't think it matters!

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MarieLloyd · 09/02/2012 20:18

I always shagged men as soon as I felt like it - usual second or third date. I agree with the pp who said 'any man who judges you for early shagging is a twat'.

I didnt shag DH for 5 months, though . I really fancied him, and we kissed and 'did stuff' loads, but we both wanted to wait. No idea why. It just felt right.

Eventually we had a weekend away and spent 48 hours shagging

12 years later we are happily married, so perhaps the delayed shag tactic had some sort of effect?

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SarahStratton · 09/02/2012 20:45

Took me to a spa for the next date, then expressly went against my wishes and booked an hotel for the weekend.

In Scotland.

I said no. He called me a pricktease, and slammed the phone down.

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MitchieInge · 09/02/2012 21:54

stupid man

that's a coincidence, there was a hotel booked for lunch. Mr planes you say, not mr art gallery?

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ElusiveCamel · 09/02/2012 22:29

Boyfriend before H had slept with 3 women before and had to be sure he was in love with someone before having sex with them. Took 6 weeks of doing everything but all the time. God, it was frustrating. But hot. Oh my. He had unbelieveable self-control though.

Most recent person, I tried to make him wait for the build-up and anticipation, but we failed miserably (or not very miserably at all ) on second date.