What hope have I got? DH doesn't want to have children

[GaryNuman]

We have been together 2 years and have 2 DC, DD1 24 months and DD2 4 months (he is the father of both). He hates children, never has liked them and never will. It is putting a huge strain on our relationship - to put it mildly. What hope have I got of convincing him that life with kids can be fun? I am so fed up of having to do everything with them alone.

Sometimes relationships drift when one partner works and one stays at home. If you want the relationship to work why not go back to work as this will definitely change the dynamic between you and will be a good idea if you are thinking of separting anyhow.

How would your dh react to this idea?

Thanks for all your responses. I know what they're saying is true, but of course it's not what I wanted to hear. I'm still holding onto the hope that things will improve with time.

Essential DH would be very supportive if I said I wanted to go back to work. The only problem is that I don't have a job to go back to. I had a complicated first pregnancy and had to quit my job early on. I feel nervous about job seeking after 2.5 years out of work, as well as being unsure what type of work I could take on which would still give me the flexibility to spend quality time with my children.

As it seems you don't intend to leave or ask him to leave the marital home, perhaps you could find part-time work in a bar one or two nights a week which will give you the flexibility to spend quality time with your children and will ensure that he spends quality time with them too.

How will you feel if they replicate their relationship with their father by choosing men that are never going to be happy with them/approve of them/cherish them?

Are you not worried that instead of spending quality time with hem when you are out of the house, he will continue to ignore them as he already does and they will be without your support?

"He hates children" why would you stay around someone who hates his own children?
whay would you want to leave your children in his care or force them onto him?
it isnt worth it.

he has to go.