Think it may be over with DH......

[HRHQueenOfQuelNoel]

but he won't talk to me about it.

Had a silly argument with DH last night just before I went to work - nothing major, or unusual just what I thought was one of our silly little 'spats'.

20 minutes later just as my shift had started he sent me a text saying

"If you are fed up of me and want to end this relationship just say so and stop messsing me around. You say you love me but act the complete opposite because words are easy. Maybe we should just stop making each other unhappy and wasting each other's time......"

I tried to call him for the rest of the night (well until about 12.30 when he usually goes to bed). But he ignored all my texts and phone calls - to all 3 of his phones.

He came downstairs a short while ago and I thought he'd asked me to turn the volume down on the TV - as he went straight back up to bed. But after he came down and I tried to ask him what was going on, whether he still loved me, whether he wants to end the relationship and if there's someone else (I don't think so but could be wrong) he just completely flipped and started having a go at me. Telling me to wait until I'd been to church and that he'd "come downstairs to help me" as "apparently" he'd said that I could leave the boys at home.......

Anyhow, he's refusing to talk, and I just keep reading the text as

"I don't want to be in this relationship anymore".

I'm wondering if all those times he's said he's loved me it's just been (in his word) easy words.

I'm supposed to go church in a few minutes (to play the organ), but I'm crying and don't know what the hell is going on here.

What am I going to do if he wants to finish it? The house is in his name, I'd have to give up work (as I work nights which would be impossible to fit in with childcare) so wouldn't be able to afford to live anywhere.

God I don't even know if this makes any sense. At least I guess I've got some of it off my chest.

He's allowed to send me a text like that at 10pm last night and ignore my calls and texts and refuse to talk until after 11.30 this morning, but I'm not allowed to know what's going on. I'm going to be even more tired by lunchtime

I've got to go now. they won't be happy at church if the organist doesn't turn up

well definitely back on track I think - he shut himself in the kitchen and washed the floor for me - yes the last time it was washed was when I last posted on here to say I'd done it (although in my defence it HAD been swept) while I was watching Child of Our Time.

Thanks for all your messages

and yes.......I'm still up - although I am about to go and get changed into my pj's and dressing gown, have a coffee and then go to bed....

Glad its sorted QOQ.

QOFQ I am so glad you have managed to talk. Good luck

Hey, NO coffee! It's got caffeine. You need to rest. NO more stimulants. Have a Horlick's or Ovaltine instead.

Expat it's actually Decaf - and besides I can drink as much caffeine as a I want and still sleep - even when I'm not very tired - and tonight I'm pretty knackered - just don't want to go too early or I'll feel cr*ppy in the morning if I've slept for too long.

Communication, communication, communication................knew you'd work it out - sometimes we just need a hefty kick in the a**e to sort out our differences. So glad you've talked - keep talking, and try to find some time for just you two (church teenagers are the business)

What are you still doing up?! See VVV's thread on 'Somebody Slap Me' .

BED for you. Being well rested will put you in an excellent frame of mind - both of you had better get some damn sleep!

Besides, if your husband's in bed maybe there's a chance for a 'cuddle'.

oh I know the chuch teenagers are FABULOUS. I've got 4 "regulars" - who are willing come and baby sit (2 indentical twins, one of who comes slightly more often than the other) and 2 other fabulous girls who jump at the chance to look after them. They don't even ask about payment, just do it (mind you I'm quite good friends with their mothers and I suspect they've been told "if she doesn't give you anything don't ask" LOL. Actually they often come and ASK if I need a babysitter !

Problem is DH works 1.30-9pm 5 days a week (and sometimes goes out during the day on the weekend, depending on how his week has gone). And I work 9.45pm-7am 3 nights a week. Then I've got Choir practice on a Friday night - making 'nights out' (which we can't afford anyhow - even cinema would cost a fortune as there isn't on here in Wellingborough) quite tricky to organise.

expat - DH is still downstairs watching TV - and almost certainly will be there until at least midnight - I'm going very soon - and this is exceptionally early for me.

Besides - I've already said if I've only got one night off between shifts I'll probably not be in the right frame of mind for 'cuddles'. And I worked Fri/Sat nights, and am Working Monday night...

Glad things are better, now GO TO BED!!!!!

A Sat. night? Would that be possible? Tricky to arrange, but still worth it. You could go for a drive together and stop in at, say, a late night Tesco or ASDA and get a few nibbles to share. Or is there a Starbucks in driving distance? Some of those stay open till 10PM and are a cheap date.

How about a weekend date during the day? Say, to a museum - free admission, or even a walk somewhere, or a cafe.

Let me spin my wheels a bit here . . .

You two are in need of reconnecting here . . .

Make time QoQ - organise it in advance - persuade dh it is necessary for you both. Also, how about a DVD and a bottle of wine........make a plan for some evening in the near future - just relax in each others company.

Can check out DVDs from the library.

i hope space is all thats needed im in the same boat weve fought off n on for the past 2 yrs since he got hime from iraq, then he would take off on his days off n wont come back cause he would be so mad at me that he would hurt me so he would leave, he gave me a hug n a kiss when me n the kids left when he took us to the airport n now im all confused i e mailed him today n he said that he dont know if he still wants to be married, refuses to go to counseling, i need my family back together, n he wont answer my calls eiher, im so hoping space is all he needs plus he is undecided if he wants me n the kids to come back plus his mom is totally brainwashing him right now, he tells me to call him when we got to colorado so i did then he tells my friend that he would possibly work things out n today its the opposite so i dunno anymore, please help me