Just found some possible suspect pics. Wwyd now?

[BoysBoysBoysAndMe]

Just found two photos of a girl on t laptop downloaded from his phone.

More digging?

Confront him?

Are they naughty or just a face? Look professional or just someone's snaps?

More digging... Any other suspicians?

Photos taken in a full length mirror by the girl. In a bedroom. One she's wearing hot pants and a sports top. Second is red lacy underwear and heels!!!!

Just standing posing. Nothing explicit.

Married 12 years never given me any reason to doubt him.

No I feel like a fool

More digging.

Have you made copies of the pictures?

If they are downloaded from his phone do they come attached with the phone number?

No number on them. Not made copies im a complete techno phobe by all accounts.

more digging.

look in properties for a date they were downloaded.

can you get access to his phone?

Just have to say, whenever I download photos from my own phone onto laptop, there are always some really random photos in there that I've never seen before, presumably related to various websites I've been on or something.

Is it a new phone? If so he may have a reconditioned one. My friend had that and the phone had stuff in it's memory from the previous owner (great data protection!)

Like missiscellophane says, could be totally innocent.

I cannot imagine having the sort of relationship where I wouldn't just ask straight away if I found something like that. If you're not going to believe his answers, why are you even with him?

that's true miss
when ive flicked through my photo's a few times, ive seen pics i dont recognise and then ive opened them and they are pics and videos from facebook/websites etc.
are they in amongst other photos or in a separate file/folder?

yellow it's not always as simple as that. she might totally believe his answers, but that doesnt mean he's not lying. many a female as totally trusted their spouse and been wrong.

My view would be to say nothing and dig a little more.

Few confronted cheaters have a conversation that goes

Wife: i found some pics - please explain them

Cheating partner: O yeah I have been wanking over them and chatting to her and her and her on MSN/sex texting etc etc and next week we're meeting up for a shag

The reply a cheater will give you will be similar to what a faithful partner naturally would - DENIAL.

Hopefully its innocent but sadly a cheater wont ever hand over the truth until the evidence against them leaves no room for manoever.

And yep - thats totally shit on all the innocent faithful parties out there but thats the way it is - sadly.

Dig a little and then confront. Once you let the cat out of the bag to a cheater any further evidence of cheating will miraculously dissapear as they cover their tracks.

I think it is as simple as that, but I know many don't. I wouldn't feel comfortable digging around in my partner's stuff for evidence.

I agree with YRC.. it is as simple as that. Ask him. Now.. if there is a reasonable and justifiable explaination, then he will have it.. if not, then is the time to dig deeper.

Yellow I didnt feel comfortable either. Sadly like many on here that was 4 years my H spent fucking women behind my back, all because I found something iffey and confronted him up front. When he got caught 4 years later - he admitted my initial confrontation tipped him off and ensured he covered his tracks better leaving him to enjoy extra marital sex with an obscene number of strange women up for shag in car park in our family car.

Yes I am bitter and fucked up (probably for ever more) but read just a random selection of threads in this section and I am certainly not alone or frankly in the minority.

You are right Titsup - fallen for quite a few of those innocent explanations myself over the years!! You look back incredulously at how hard you worked to devise and believe crazy excuses.

More digging.

It's hugely naive to think that talking to him will elicit the truth. If there is worse to discover, it will alert him and he will start covering his tracks. The other reality is that even if he has some plausible explanation for having pictures of women in lingerie on his laptop, you will always wonder whether he was lying, so your suspicions will not magically vanish.

Yes, hugely naive. To trust the person who's meant to be your best friend.

Bloody hell. Some of you must be so miserable.

Yes it is f'ing miserable when you trust your 'best friend' for years and years only to find that they have betrayed you. Happens all the time and not just to those who don't communicate or who don't work on their relationships or let themselves go or any of that. Could be totally innocent - erm...??? How come I never get any of these saucy pics and messages innocently appear on my laptop? Anyone else get them? Anyone's DH get them...ah yes..!!

If I thought for one second my partner was cheating, he'd be out the door.

None of this sneaking around bollocks, it's so stupid.

Well if he's just looked at some dirty pictures on the internet, what's the problem? I just looked at the 'best vintage underwear' on Yahoo! a minute ago (for inspiration for my non-existant love life LOL). Wouldn't leave a guy over that!! If it's something some OW has sent him personally then more problematic. Difficult to know from few details given.

Has he got an iPhone.

I ask because the way photos end up on that are completely baffling to me at times.. and once they are in the Camera Roll or gallery, it is so easy to not even notice they are there, or even work out how they got there... and I am not a phone novice usually.

I dont update my phone to the pc regularly.. and I finally got around to doing it a month ago... there were all sorts of random photos on there that I didnt remember. Including one of some half naked bloke that had come up when I was using google from what I recall...

What I am trying to say is that there is every possibility that there is a completely innocent explaination for this. If you normally have trust.. then ask him..

yellowraincoat if you read enough threads on here from women who after months or years of denials, find out that their 'best friend' was having an affair all along, you will see the oft-repeated lament "How could I have been so naive?" and this self-flagellation, together with the hurt of a partner repeatedly lying to save his own skin rather than coming clean, actually worsens the pain.

IME it's only people who are

• very naive or
• have never experienced being cheated on or
• have no children or
• believe that only nasty horrible people have affairs

who claim that they would kick a partner 'out the door' based on a hunch.

And even then they behave differently, if and when it happens to them.

When my DH watches films on the laptop, it saves random images...lots of them....

TBH I think it's something that you just go through cos you don't want to believe it. I once saw my friend's husband out with another woman and it was obvious they were having an affair. Glasses of wine, holding hands, eye gazing...all that. I told my friend, after much consideration that I was 100% sure it was her DH (it was and my DH saw him too) and that although I didn't see them kiss or anything was almost certain something was going on. She stopped talking to me. I saw her a year later and asked her how things were. I expected her to say that it was innocent, just a close friend or whatever. What she said though was that it wasn't him. He was never at this place. I still bump into him occasionally as he gets the same train as me sometimes. I always look right at him and he never acknowledges me. Dirty cheating bastard.