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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

i love you guys

40 replies

bejeezus · 31/01/2012 11:38

There is an SINUS thread at the moment which is very disparaging of the relationships board

So, I just wanted to balance that with letting you all know how very very grateful I am for all the advice, support and hand holding I have received here

You have helped me through the most difficult and painful year of my life. From here's I have gained the strength to move me and my children towards a much more healthy and functional life, and I haves gained so much clarity and self awareness

So thank you 'frothers', froth away

Xxx

OP posts:
Original poster
bejeezus · 31/01/2012 11:41

SINUS =AIBU!!

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 31/01/2012 11:42

I love us all too

have a Brew and rest assured that this board is one of the best things on MN

springaroundthecorner · 31/01/2012 12:03

The posters on this board have managed to make me feel better than any professionals have done so far and that is a FACT. They are amazing and anyone who says otherwise is obviously living in a lovely la la land of happy relationships with perfect partners.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 31/01/2012 12:07

Many of the posters on the AIBU thread though have commented on the positive aspects of the relationships board too, just for balance.

LadyBlaBlah · 31/01/2012 12:08

I agree ! What a strange thread that 'other one' is.

I lurk a lot but the information and find the advice here is so spookily correct, it should be on the national curriculum.

LadyBlaBlah · 31/01/2012 12:09

That didn't make sense in the slightest.......but in short, I concur Smile

HotDAMNlifeisgood · 31/01/2012 12:12

It's not just those who have no firsthand experience of abuse who object to the Relationships board.

It upsets the societal status quo to have a space where women are freely told to leave - or re-evaluate the wisdom of staying with - deeply inadequate partners, and I think that that's why some posters react with such vitriol against the advice given in Relationships.

LittleHouseofCamelias · 31/01/2012 12:12

Another fan here. I was unhappy, in denial and behaving abominably when I discovered this board.

After a virtual kick up the backside had been administered on here I got into counselling and sorted myself out. No amount of nicey nicey talk would have achieved the same!

seaofyou · 31/01/2012 12:13

Can we have a group (((HUG)))

This is better than WA, Woman Safety Unit, Police, and Social Services ...can I say on par with Family Rights...but better as 24/7!

I've been here a year...I wanted to buy a gun a year ago for protection but you guys talked me round and help me through really dark times Thanks

kaluki · 31/01/2012 12:14

Agree.
You are never going to agree with everyone on a thread, but in the past I have found a lot of support on the Relationships board.
It is invaluable to be able to sound off and hear from people who have been/are in the same situation and discuss ways of coping with problems which seem unsolveable.
I first came on MN a loooong time ago when I was in a really really bad place, in a shit relationship with no way out in sight. MN was my lifeline back then and I got so much help and support. I don't know what I'd have done without it.
Now my life is good, I'm in a different relationship and am happier and more confident than I've ever been and if I can help people by giving them the advice that I was given back then, I will.

caramelwaffle · 31/01/2012 12:41

It's good to see people talking about the positives of the board

Wine Is it that time yet? Smile

LiarsWife · 31/01/2012 12:47

I think this board is fantastic - it's helped me enormously!! I've just recommended it to a colleague less than a minute ago :)

ThePinkPussycat · 31/01/2012 13:00

I have woken up from an abuse-induced trance and found my inner strength thanks to this board. Friends who know both me and stbx feel they have to take a 'balanced' stance, and for various reasons I have been unable to tell the half of it. Reading others' threads I have been able to see where their experience is similar to mine, experience that only I (and stbx but he has a different pov) know of. I have been able to overcome my shame and tell my family what has been going on with respect to money - I lied by omission. I have re-established old friendships and found them supportive - I wouldn't have done that without the advice (usually to others) found here.

Thanks (and of course Brew)

CarrieInAnotherTWOBabiTWINS · 31/01/2012 13:11

hear hear

i find it infuriating when the media or other slag off mumsnet.

because 99%of the posters on here give each other real support and go out of there way to help each other.
people on here have supported me through v difficult times in my life and even simple things such as coming up with ideas to keep dd entertained.

its opened my eyes to alot of other things too.
and i like the way you can chat to people you would probably never come across in rl.

Heleninahandcart · 31/01/2012 13:22

This board has given me more insight into my life than any of the professionals. I know psychotherapy is meant to be about self discovery but I for one am very grateful for the flashing neon signposts that this board provides.

destinyorfate · 31/01/2012 13:26

I did not even realise my relationship was abusive until I found mumsnet and even though I am not out of it yet, the support on here, (like another poster said - usually to others :)) has been invaluable!

I think this board is just phenomenal and I do not know how I would cope without it.

So all of you really wise and kind posters - thank you :)

Bucharest · 31/01/2012 13:33

I've had virtually no experience of some of the things that get discussed (also by me) on the relationships section.....I've had the odd fuckwit, sure, and there have been times when I've been the one in the wrong in my relationships. I've also loved good good men, and not so good ones.....

...whether any of that gives me any right or not to post my views on some of the heartbreaking threads I see and post on, I care not.....but I agree that many of the regular posters on here have probably saved, if not lives, then at least the sanity and dignity of the women (and yes, sometimes men) that they spend hours of their time trying to help. And at the end of the day, that's not fucking bad. Smile

joblot · 31/01/2012 14:12

It's invaluable and wonderful. I heart relationships board. And it is laugh out loud funny sometimes too. What's not to love?

UnlikelyAmazonian · 31/01/2012 14:32

Another one here who was saved my the wonderful support love affection and wisdom of the many many anonymous MNtters who have helped me on the Relationships board over the last four years. I too have learned so so very much through the sharing of others' stories and yes, because it's 24/7 this board really did rescue me in the darkest nights.

My son will also have benefited no end - simply because I was able to keep mothering him as I was getting support myself on here. I haven't seen the 'other' thread but will pop over and have a look.

I have a 'virtual' weblove for so many of the mntters who dried my tears and gave me concrete advice.

fiventhree · 31/01/2012 15:05

I agree! I have found it really helpful, and it has got me through a very tricky few months.

snowymum · 31/01/2012 16:04

Christ, I agree. This board actually means the world to me. I rarely post, but there are usually current threads which bear similarities to my own situation/s, and I find the advice, balance and kindness uniquely useful, reassuring and motivating.

I recommend it all the time to women, and men, who are not adept at spotting red flags / gaslighting / stately homes-type families.

Thanks to every who posts on it.

singingprincess · 31/01/2012 16:43

Yes ME TOO!

That thread made me so angry, because MN has literally saved my life.

Without the support of the Stately Homers, and especially posters like Garlic, and those who understood about abuse, I can really say that I would not be here now.

If that "aaaaaggh" actually heard MY story, (and many others) I think that it would be mortified with embarrassment of it's ignorance.

Coming from a family like mine, and ending up in two abusive marriages...AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT WAS WEIRD!!!!!! I thought it was me, hence the dark contemplations of suicide.

And it makes "blood boil", to have saved my life and my sanity, and my children's future? Hmmmm.

lazarusb · 31/01/2012 17:25

I am now happily married but the Relationship board has given me clarity about various things that have happened in my past relationships. It has allowed to vent and process anonymously and with the most incredible encouragement and support. Only once did I have a bit of a run in with someone Grin. I avoid any threads she's on now though!

I like to think I can help others too, even in a small way.

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 31/01/2012 17:28

I only dip in from time to time, but when I was going through my separation I got lots of good, accurate and supportive advice. Thanks all of you. Thanks

arthriticfingers · 31/01/2012 17:51

I am another lurker but ... Thank You All. Your advice and the book lists have - and I mean this quite literally - saved my life. So, (thanks) and (thanks) and (thanks)