Would you tell him that you thought he was overweight?

[Ploink]

I put this in WWYD but not a single reply!

If your partner/DH etc was overweight (not huge amounts, just enough to grow a little tummy and a little double chin) would you tell them? I mean if you loved them anyway but perhaps prefered them slim?

Obviously there is the health issue and I suppose you could put it that way.

What if they didn't want to do anything about it or did but didn't actually make much effort?

What if you didn't really fancy them so much when a bit chubbier? Would you tell them?

I think you would have to tell him VERY subtly. I am a couple of stone overweight, as is my DH (although he is not flabby - more rugby prop build!). I worry about DHs weight sometimes as he is totally not bothered what he weighs, whereas I at least TRY to lose weight and try to limit what I eat. However, I would never make a big thing about it, and always try to encourage us BOTH to lose weight. More 'don't you think it would be great if we both tried to eat a bit healthier and lose some weight', rather than 'you need to lose weight.'

I would never push the matter though. My DM is quite controlling re my DFs weight and is constantly advising him not to eat unhealthily and not to have another biscuit. My DSis's DH is exactly the same, gives her a real guilt trip if she pigs out and doesn't go to the gym every night. I find it quite depressing, and wouldn't want to be like that. That said, they are all quite slim and me and DH are not!!!

Well, when I met my husband I was a size 10 and very trim indeed. He was a bit of a hunk. We are, 10 years on, not quite the people we used to be. I still fancy him and he still fancies me. I don't think it's realistic to expect men in their forties and fifties (and older) to be Adonises any more thatn it is for the women to be stick thin. I wish I were thinner and so does he. We would both like to lose weight as we know it is unhealthy to be overweight (he is in the obese category though doesn't look it). I don't think nagging helps in the slightest, I do sometimes get exasperated and shout 'for god's sake, put down the doughnuts' but mainly I understand that to get thin, he'd need a massive dietary change plus lots of exercise and that's hard to fit in when you are both working more than full-time. In short, I think being able to talk about it honestly (talking about your weight to each other and running through solutions) is a good way forward, I would hate it to be a taboo topic, But equally, I know he will only lose weight when he can see a window in which to do so, and don't intend to go on about it in the meantime (which is what I expect from him in relation to my weight).

hidari - your dh and mine are obviously twins separated at birth. My dh doesnt like going out for walks here as he feels v self conscious about being seen, (god forbid anyone suspected him of trying to get fit!). My dh is a local where we live, (i grew up in Dublin which is a good 200 miles from here) I LOVE the fact that we live near the sea which is mainly why I love to walk so much any day the weather allows for it.