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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

You've had how many.....?

46 replies

Pfer · 20/01/2006 14:57

Does your other half know how many sexual partners you've had and does it bother them? And does it bother you how many they've had?

My DH has a serious problem with mine as it's more than he has. I don't think he'd care how many I'd slept with as long as it was less than he had. Many an arguement caused by this I can tell you! Just don't understand why. Why should the past hinder the present and future?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 20/01/2006 15:01

No. We don't know each other's tally. Don't care, either. It's in the past.

Original poster
Pfer · 20/01/2006 15:03

I agree, the past is the past. DH asked me before we got married and I thought honesty was the best policy - wish I'd lied now though.

OP posts:
nailpolish · 20/01/2006 15:05

yes i dont care either expat

Beetroot · 20/01/2006 15:05

Yes he knows and no he doesn't give a toss

Twiglett · 20/01/2006 15:05

no he doesn't want to knwo

and I'm almost certain I have an exponentially larger number than he has

Original poster
Pfer · 20/01/2006 15:06

I think mine has an inferiority complex. Don't know why though.

OP posts:
lemonstartree · 20/01/2006 15:07

Never discussed with my dh. I expect mine is more than his, not sure if he woud mind and not about to try and find out.!

Why exactly is he bothered? are there problems in your sex life together? is he making judgements about you ? or does he feel inadequate sexually in some way ?

Original poster
Pfer · 20/01/2006 15:15

Judging from other threads our sex life is more than average for a couple with 2 little children so I don't think there's a problem there.

When we first got together he had 'problems' for the first 6 weeks or so maintaining an erection due to nervousness (this was before he knew my tally). His ex was a friend of mine and she'd told me about this, so it wasn't just me.

I think he must've had a bad experience way before he met me.

I will say he doesn't have a very high opinion of women in general, in fact he can be quite vicious in his views. What's OK for men to do isn't OK for women to do.

I erally don't know where it all comes from but it does cause a few arguements - my pointing out that I do not want my children to grow up thinking that daddy thinks mummy is a slapper just because she didn't have a ten year relationship with someone before she met daddy (Dh was with someone for over 10yrs).

OP posts:
lazyanna · 20/01/2006 18:08

I'm not sure my DH has had any

Hulababy · 20/01/2006 18:09

Yes he does - we have both had 1 (each other only). Don't think he has a problem with it

Piffle · 20/01/2006 18:09

yes
no
yes
I've had substantially more than my dp but it has never been an issue
After all it makes us the person that they fell in love with so how can it be bad...

cod · 20/01/2006 18:09

Message withdrawn

boobyprize · 20/01/2006 18:11

were they all married cod

cod · 20/01/2006 18:11

Message withdrawn

lazyanna · 20/01/2006 18:12

46!!! how do you keep count after about 5?

expatinscotland · 20/01/2006 18:12

I think I've had more than DH. I'm in the double digits. But honestly, it's just never come up b/c it doesn't have any baring on our lives/relationship.

cod · 20/01/2006 18:12

Message withdrawn

iota · 20/01/2006 18:13

well I met dh when I was in my 30's so guess that he didn't expect me to be a virgin

cod · 20/01/2006 18:14

Message withdrawn

lazyanna · 20/01/2006 18:16

Oh god, we're not getting on to "when did you lose it" are we? Or worse, when did your husband ....

iota · 20/01/2006 18:17

just reread my post -- I wasn't a virgin in case anyone was wondering

Seashells · 20/01/2006 18:23

No, he doesnt know, doesnt want to. Yes I think he'd be bothered if he did know.
He's only had 1 - me

Mosschops30 · 20/01/2006 18:24

Message withdrawn

Lacrimosa · 20/01/2006 18:30

2

TeddyRobinson · 20/01/2006 18:31

Yes we know for each other.
No, there is no problem as both much, much lower than the average. His only marginally more than mine. Irrelevant to me.