advice plse - im out of 'touch' (literally) with men..

[almostspring]

ive just started dating a guy after years without a physical relationship, and feel like a teenager - im not so worried about the actual sex part (though we havent had any yet) but i feel really shy about touching his willy and cant remember 'how to do it', silly as it sounds....i know that everyone is going to prefer slightly different things but, in general, do most men prefer kind of tender touching or something a bit firmer.? and what do you do..just move your hand up and down.? i feel ridiculous for asking but anyway.....

get a teddy bear ?

One of those massive ones!!

I have 2 gorgeous boys I cuddle a lot

I'm very fussy on the man front. My cockwomble alert is very finely tuned these days. I'm not sure I remember what to do if I find the right one. I'm crap at flirting

well, it sounds like FBF has some good tips

Jaysus. I have a 2nd date this week. The bloke has mentioned KISSING. I have not even kissed for 6+ years, let alone anything else!

t-e-r-r-i-f-i-e-d!

copies and pastes flatbellyfellas post for, ahem, reference

oooOOO Hisspops is havin' a snogggggggggg

can you set up a webcam, we wanna keep an eye on you !

Webcam? That's just sick AF!

Jaysus, even the fecking Pandas got more privacy than that!*

I have stated that as I will be taking the train, (The TRAIN FFS!) I will tweet ON the way to the date and on the way back.... I'll need something to keep me busy so I don't bottle it completely and get off. inhales Rescue Remedy

IF there is reception and a loo... perhaps there may be an interim tweet. I can't promise.

DateTweet will commence 6pm ish on Sunday.

*Disclaimer - watched Mrs Brown's Boys earlier. My 1/8th Irish ethnicity may be showing...

Looking forward to it. Not even a ikkle skype ? A blurred mobey pic ? Nothing ? You bloody spoilsport

Remember, the willy is just the delivery mechanism. The balls are where it's at.

Source - being a man!

scribbles notes

I have an inkling the nutz are a much underestimated erogenous zone

Hisso...don't attck the nutz at the train station though will ya ?

That can get you arrested

attack

A blurry mobey pic of WHAT exactly AF? you purve

I have a BB and an HTC, BOTH of which are spectacularly shite at skype

His lovely face of course, HissPops, what did you think I meant

or his kissy, snoggy lips

Aww, it's sweeeet

Jesus, I'll not be attacking the nuts at all tbh.

It's only a 2nd date!

crosses self

Excuse me, yes I realise it may be a little forward, but I have quite a few followers on Twitter, and they're demanding a cockpic...

However you touch it, remember to gasp.
They love that.

I may give you enough info to google him AF, if it all works out and you are really REALLY good....

but not on here...

eww, the dirty bastards

what sort of followers have you got ?

are they all sex starved dating too ?

oh, yes, the slight intake and gasp of breath works wonders

and exclamations of "gosh he's a sizeable piece isn't he ?"

"IF there is reception and a loo"

Are you perchance meeting at an hotel, Hissy?

He'll be a cheapskate if he doesn't fork out for an ensuite.

'

Hisspops do, do, do

< sits up and begs >

Hissy do try not to grab his balls in the station, it does tend to lower ones respectability.

almostspring do try not to snigger when you see his balls, it does tend to lower one's signal.

AF: you wouldn't BELIEVE some of my followers... ;)

Izzy: ha ha, forgot, I'm out here in the sticks, MOBILE reception is patchy. I'm meeting him, however in suburbs, and AFAIK NOT in a hotel! Tweeting ought not to be compromised!

Lord god I'm not going to be shagging him!

Will NOT be grabbing balls of any kind. this week