Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Men and sex.........ffs...

38 replies

Pfer · 18/01/2006 08:29

Ok, I'm knackered, been too many years without a decent sleep, I've got a head cold so feel crap. Last night was the 3rd night in a row since DH and I got jiggy and boy oh boy was he in a foul mood because of it! You'd think it'd been 3 months the way he just turned his back on me in bed, and he's got this ability to just exude bad feeling. This morning he's hardly spoken to me and gone off to work grumpy. All because I'm tired and a bit off colour.
Are all men Sh*theads when it comes to sex?

OP posts:

carlk · 18/01/2006 08:33

Yes

WideWebWitch · 18/01/2006 08:33

No, they're not. well, my dh most certainly isn't. Your h is being unreasonable, three nights is nothing, as I'm sure many people will come along and tell you. He could try giving you a break, some sleep (isn't he doing nights too if it's hard? If not, why not?) and some romance, it's far more likely to work than strops and temper. Don't know about you but I don't find a foul mood a turn on - you should point this out to him.

carlk · 18/01/2006 08:36

Sorry

He probably doesnt know whats happening and doesnt know how to say it.
feeling under the weather doesnt necessarily put us off sex, so as far as he can see you just dont want him

just my opinion, your milage may vary

Original poster

Pfer · 18/01/2006 08:45

carlk, he does feel like I just don't want him even though I've explained about being too tired and suggested that maybe he could see to the kids if they wake in the night and maybe get up at 4am with them. Not all the time. Just once in a while would help.

WWW - a foul mood is a complete turn off isn't it. Sometimes when I feel like it and he gets stroppy over something and has a go at me it spoils the mood yet he still expects sex!!

OP posts:

Piffle · 18/01/2006 09:16

If my dp reacted like that he'd be looking at a lot longer than 3 nights without it...
Behaving like a child!

WideWebWitch · 18/01/2006 09:17

It would be more than just sex my dh would be losing if he didn't pull his weight with nights/childcare/housework/everything.

sparklymieow · 18/01/2006 09:26

3 nights!!!! its been about 3 months for us!! I just feel so tired and it hurts because I don't relax enough, my DH gets arsey about it atm, because its been so long...

stinkweasel · 18/01/2006 09:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Marina · 18/01/2006 09:36

Tell him to have a w*nk in the loo like the teenager he's being. Honestly pfer, what a selfish boy

lunarx · 18/01/2006 09:47

i feel for you, pfer.... and empathise.

mcmum · 18/01/2006 10:02

pfer,

I can sympathise totally my dh is exactly same infact he tells me i look more sexy when im ill !!! any excuse to try on infact i just have to lie down and apparantly that means im up for it ! men are very selfish and should try doing a mums full day every day for a week and then see if he's up to it.

good luck x

Original poster

Pfer · 18/01/2006 11:35

Marina maybe I'll do that.

Must add that DH hasn't seen me naked for about ooooh 4 years. Yet after all his moaning and my explaining he doesn't get it that maybe I just don't feel sexy about myself so that also hinders my libido somewhat.

He does react like a child in many ways. Say if we pass one of my ex's in the street he'll sulk for days! Even though there's no conversation! Yet he's got stacks of slides / photo's from his previous relationship which lasted 10yrs and thinks that's ok. TBH I don't mind in the slightest his past relationships are part of what's made him the man I love, yet sadly he doesn't view it that way about my past 'conquests'. This thread is going off at a tangent isn't it? Sorry.

OP posts:

mcmum · 18/01/2006 13:10

pfer,

if you dont feel very confident why not have a pamper day. go and have a false tan done (or use johnson holiday skin) and do self , get your hair done buy some new makeup and clothes and treat yourself us women have to make ourselves feel special sometimes as it goes over mens heads !

Mum2OneAndBump · 18/01/2006 13:15

Pfer not all men are like that & as someone else has said if my dp was like that he would also be looking at alot lot longer than 3 nights believe me, i believe in punishment

I have been off sex alot for the past few months probably due to being pregnant, since i hit about 6 months pg i was so not interested, dp went from September till December with no sex at all i just could not help it, but dp has been so so understanding & knows i will make up for it when baby is here & sex drive comes back

I would say your Dh is being very selfish & childish & would punish him even more! nothing worse than having to "do it" when your not feeling well or up to it, blimey some men huh!

satine · 18/01/2006 13:18

I hate it when we've been arguing all day and then he makes a really transparent attempt to make up just before bedtime in the hope that we'll have sex.

ggglimpopo · 18/01/2006 13:30

Message withdrawn

Easy · 18/01/2006 13:34

Point out something to your dh.

My dh works away sunday night to Friday. When he comes home on a Friday we are normally both kn*ckered, and on a Sunday we are up early to spend time with ds.

So we may get the opportunity on a Saturday. Sometimes just don't.

So if your dh is getting it at 3 day intervals he wants to think himself lucky.

carlk · 18/01/2006 13:57

ggg has struck a chord I think we men see it more as the deed and women seem to see it more as an extension of their mood.
i.e "I feel like having sex" as opposed to
"I feel sexy because I am loved/made to feel attractive".

Must be loads easier if you are Gay

Rhubarb · 18/01/2006 14:00

Ha! With us it's the other way round, once a week if I'm lucky. Once I went on strike and he never noticed! He has a very low sex drive and it does drive me nuts! He simply isn't interested, and when he is it's all over within 5 minutes. I've tried changing things, I've tried talking to him. I now have to accept that this just the way he is, it's just bloody frustrating at times!

lunavix · 18/01/2006 14:01

My dh is the same with one night without it. I'm nearly 9 weeks pg and have been advised again not to 'do it' till 12 weeks. Dh - now whinges at least 3 times a day for a blowjob! Not a change love! I puke up every meal and am shattered, not wasting precious energy on that!

Mytwopenceworth · 18/01/2006 14:19

no not all men are like that. most men are complex human beings whose existance does not revolve around the expelling of sperm from a tube!

Blackduck · 18/01/2006 14:23

MT - well said! Mine has gone months on occasions - and doesn't give me grief abut it.....just one of those things.....

Original poster

Pfer · 18/01/2006 15:25

lunavix pmsl

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 18/01/2006 15:30

I thank heaven everyday that, this time round, I married a man w/a lower sex drive. I don't have time or patience for pouty adults - no matter what they're pouting about. 3 nights w/o sex? Grow up and have a toss in the shower!

Original poster

Pfer · 18/01/2006 15:32

That's exactly what I think!!! (to expat) but apparently he's feeling neglected, ahhhhhh the poor thing.....

OP posts:

Flip

1 2