Saw a neighbours' DV - feeling very wobbly and upset now.

[msshapelybottom]

This morning as the kids and I were going out to the car for the school run we saw our neighbour being yelled at by her very agressive partner outside their house. She was just sitting on the doorstep taking the verbal onslaught.

I got the kids into the car and called the local police who said they would send a car out. (I think the man could see me on the phone but I couldn't just leave things) I don't know what happened after that, but by the time I got home again the man's car had the rear window smashed and there were bits of broken golf club and other debris on the road.

Later this afternoon the kids and I were out walking, as we returned the man went inside his house, slammed the front door behind him then there was this almight scream from inside. We went into our house and I called the police again.

I'm feeling very shaken and worried, I've been trying to reassure my kids that everything is fine and things have calmed down now but I'm worried that this guy will figure out I called the cops and come and find me.

Deep down I know he's probably too coward to do that but I am feeling so upset that this is going on just a few doors away.

The poor woman. She must be terrified. It reminds me of when I was small and my parents used to fight, I still feel very uneasy around men who are behaving in an agressive manner.

Just needed to write this down I suppose.

Please try not to worry and keep doing what you're doing. A massive well done to you for being brave enough to report this asshat.....many people would just turn a blind eye.

Men like that do tend to be cowards....I once did a similar thing with a neighbour (pulled her out of her house and yelled at the creep). After that the guy was terrified of me...he'd literally scurry away/avoid eye contact whenever he saw me.

If you neighbour does make any of the slightest moves towards you....saying or doing ANYTHING even slightly out of order then report that as well.

Hope everything turns out ok for you and your neighbour x

men who beat their wives are usually very very cowardly, one of my friend's exes can hardly look at me after I called the police about his behavior. Didn't stop him battering my friend, but he avoids me like the plague. Don't panic.

thanks for the support & reassurance. It's awful to think that he would yell at her outside, what must he do out of sight of the neighbours?

The more that these men are called to account for their behaviour, the more that some real difference will be made.

MsShapely...YOU helped to change the world a bit today, which makes you a bit of a hero in my book.

You did the right thing - well done

Thank god you did the right thing and are a very brave lady. Most folk woild get embarassed and turn their backs. I hope the police calling gived them the wake up call they need. Worst case scenario, you have saved a life.

oh how awful :-(

good on you for calling the police. I hope she is ok.

Well done for calling the police. You have done your neighbour a massive favour.
I was a victim of DV for years and I wish someone had called the police on my ex - I didn't have the guts or the self-worth to do it myself.

thanks everyone. I hope she is ok too...fingers crossed the police gave him something to think about.

corlan, I'm so sorry you went through that, hope you're in a much better place now.

What an incredible thing to do - immensely brave. Hard not to worry but you absolutely did the right thing. Now the police are aware and will be quick to respond.

well done you. You're my hero.

After years of DV, my mother's next door neighbour glibly told me she knew all about it, and hoped I didn't mind that she didn't ever call the police.

I don't feel like a hero but hope I did the right thing!

MrsJD (love your name!) how awful that someone knew about your mum and didn't once try to help. I'd have been speechless with rage I think.

Feeling less jumpy now, thanks for the support everyone. (I know it's not all about me, but you know...)

Well done you for calling - I hope you are ok. How very frightening for you. You definitely did the right thing.

I also had neighbours who heard and did nothing - I wish one of them had called the police like you did.

Well done for showing your children the correct way to respond to domestic violence. You did absolutely the right thing calling the Police.

Good on you for calling the police.#
Your neighbor is a lucky woman to have you there.

It's horrible hearing it :(

We got woken up at 5am on New Year's Day, initially it was just raised voices in the car park (block of flats) As we are ground floor it was right by our bedroom window, then they came in the foyer and it was the neighbour that lives across from us getting a bit of pushing and shoving from a boyfriend. I called the police in the end as it was just going on too long and seemed to be a bit more than a mild row. I was surprised they came out as I thought they didn't do 'domestics' but they were here in about 20 mins and just took the bloke away.

I was peering through our spy hole as they called me back to be let in, I went to get my dressing gown on and before I opened the door I looked out. I am glad I didn't have to open my door to go and let them in!

You have most likely saved her life!

Understand you being scared though, I would be too.

Well done. How well do you know the neighbours? If you think it's appropriate then be supportive to her, she will no doubt be shaken ... and may need support to get out of the relationship or a safe place to run to if he kicks off again.
Obviously depends on the circumstance, but what you did today was fantastic.

Well done. You should be proud of yourself.

I wish I'd taken my neighbor up on his offer to call the police. I turned him down, though: at the time I thought it was perfectly normal that stbxh was smashing the place up while calling me a stupid fucking bitch at the top of his lungs.

Abuse victims still deep in the abusive situation are usually too brainwashed/low in self esteem to know what's right and what's wrong and feel capable of reacting. A clear statement from the outside that what is going on is not acceptable is a great way to counterbalance that.

The guy will be a coward who functions on shame (or rather, rabid avoidance of it). You've pointed him out for what he is, so his most likely reaction will be either to "prove" you wrong (but not to your face since he now knows you have his number - more likely to the police and his wife), or he will try and desperately pretend that your intervention never happened.

Well done op you may of just thrown her the rubber ring that she needs to save herself and dc from anymore of that terrible behaviour, be proud of yourself

There seems to be an epidemic of these chicken shit men terrorising their families. And far too many of them killing wives and DCs.
Inadequate wankers.
Well done OP. You changed some lives today I hope.

Good for you, Ms. Hope that she can make the break and get away from that arsewipe.

I can only re-iterate what everyone else has said. I once stopped my car (o a roudabout) coz some a hole was pulling a woman out of a car by the side of the road by her hair and asked what the hell was going on. She said it's OK - it's my boyfriend! I was still glad I had the guts to try to help her. You should be glad that you were brave enough to try to help too. Einstein once said something about people who stand and look on when evil is carried out are worse than the perpertrators. He was right. You did a great thing for us women today. Do not be afraid. Bullies are cowards. Big hugs. x

it's ok it's my boyfriend