New partner just admitted he suffers from schizophrenia

[Biancosmum]

My 6 month partner just said that he suffers from paranoiac schizophrenia and is under strong medication and care for it . It left me me numb and still very unsure of how to react and what implications it would have long term if we did start a family together. Anyone with relevant advice or has been through something similar please?

And garlic, take courage from some of the other posters - perhaps one day you will not be so unwell, and someone lovely will fall in love with you

That's a really good point Sam. Some of us are more vulnerable to others mental conditions, while some people just stay their own stable selves whatever happens. This is as much about the ops personality as her boyfriends.

Thhanks, abird :) I wasn't always like this, and I won't always be. Just wish I weren't now ...!

Sam's 00:51 post makes really, really good points.

I have been very I'll with depression in the past. Now I am better. You will get better too. Hold on to that. Xx

ahh abird your so nice...stay (are you new?)
garlic have you tried alternative stuff too like accupuncture? Getting plenty of Vits ensuring ie vit D isnt low etc....all adds up! It is Not funny but you are very funny on here and you never moan grumble like some here

I just started posting again about 3 months ago, after a 2 year gap!

Gallows humour,sea I think you and abird are both lovely.

sea, what the hell does psychopathy have to do with personality disorder? They are ENTIRELY different.

Well not really, yellowraincoat. People with antisocial or narcissistic personality disorders would score highly on psychopathy checklists (not so people with other pds, though).

Psychopathy has absolutely nothing to do with schizophrenia, though, so not sure why it's come up on this thread.

yellow we have our wires crossed..sorry I was on about psychopathic disorder...which is a 'personality disorder'

Lizza the question from OP was WWYD if your bf just said they had schizophrenia...some people bashing it and :( now nothing wrong with schizophrenia is a illness that can be acute or cronic..I was advising OP that Psychopathic disorder is the only MH problem I would advise not to get involved with going on dx alone...not judging the person as a whole of course.

Ahh garlic you a topcat MN here, but don't yur just hate the econ on netmums where the one pacman smoothers the other and rubs the head...eek to close for me
yes we must stop this fluffy talk before we lower the tone of MN

Psychopathy is a type of personality disorder and maybe some features of psychopathy are present in other personality disorders. The vast vast majority of people with personality disorders are not psychopaths.

I find it upsetting that people would confuse the two. My problem is that I empathise too much with others, rather than having no empathy.

It's also a bit silly to say you'd warn someone off dating a psychopaths. You find very few diagnosed psychopaths. They rarely go to the doctor for treatment (as with NPD) - why would they? They don't see anything wrong with how they are. So the likelihood of your child coming home and saying "oh guess what, my new partner is a diagnosed psychopath" is virtually nil.

yellow for Joeblogs down the road you say 'psychopath' and 'personality disorder' is what springs to mind...thank you for confirming psychopath is a type of personality disorder as I starting to get
and that is why I said you have empathy and how did you know you have it...who dx you etc cause if you had 'psychopathic disorder' you would not be on the thread empathising as you had been.

I still would warn people off dating a psychopath...yes they are usually good looking, good in bed, rich, successful, but will use and drop you in a second and drain all your emotions dry and lie and cheat often beat you if not physically as well as mentally...and not think anything wrong in doing so!

Sea, this is now getting wildly off topic, but seriously, how would you know the person was a psychopath? Like I said, few psychopaths are diagnosed.

Maybe ordinary people do confuse psychopathy and personality disorders, I really don't know. I've never heard of anyone confusing the two before.

Well, most people haven't heard of Personality Disorders at all and are unaware of any difference between sociopathy and psychopathy. Neither are most people aware of the difference between a mental state, a mental illness and a mental disorder. We may not be supposed to say "mad" any more, but it's about as far as general knowledge goes - with the addition of a few qualifiers like "slightly barking" (me) and "barking, but in a good way" (poss yellowraincoat?!)

Likewise, we only hear of schizophrenia when somebody goes off their meds and axes a stranger outside Sainsburys. If there's a schizophrenic in your life, you need to find out more about the illness and its manifestations. The vast majority of people have no reason to find out such things; imo it's pointless to try and force the subject on them when ordinary parlance will do.

I don't mind if people aren't too aware of mental health problems, garlic - if they aren't, it's probably because they've never come across it. If you're going to talk about it, you should probably make sure you know what you're talking about though. Otherwise you're very likely to offend/upset people.

"Barking but in a good way" - I wish. Personality disorders are horrid :(

It's true that schizophrenia gets a bad rap. As with most mental health problems, people with a diagnosis are far more likely to be a danger to themselves than others.

Personality disorders are horrid - Going back to the dreaded psychopath: my dad was one (undiagnosed afaik) and was unhappy in general. It's not 100% true that psychos, narcs et al are unaware of their predicament. They have 'moments of lucidity' and some are quite aware. Remember last year's serial killer, who cheerily announced to a survivor that he was "just your average, common-or-garden psychopath"?

My X2, who I'd say is a sociopath/narc, was most troubled by the fact that he can't understand people. That's what drew me in, really - I thought I could help. This is why I feel it's important for Biancosmum to consider Sam's points about self-evaluation. "I can help" is not a good basis for a relationship, though it can feel like one.

Highly appreciate all your thoughts on the matter. Discussed my fears with his family and the next step is to attend next psychiatrist appointment.
I find the disease manifests itself v mildly at times especially in times of stress otherwise he s a wonderful kind man. My concern is also regarding the implications of the medications long-term.

Biancomum that is a good idea to go to next appointment...write down questions ready...even about having children...the info you have early on the better prepared you are for deciding your future etc.

I agree totally about people posting who don't know about personality disorders don't know what they are on about...but Psychopathic disorder IS a personality Disorder... They may have changed the name to 'Antisocial' but still the same...and in laymen terms people still use the term psychopath

I think it can be genetic, I know a family it appears to run in. Something to bear in mind I guess.

See my first post wellblow. Some evidence suggests you can inherit a vulnerability to it (not inherit the illness itself) but its controversial.

I think it depends on what you are like. I have dated two seriously depressed people and found that I am just not strong enough to cope with depression and also dated one person who seemed to have two completely different sides to him (and I never knew which one I was waking up to).

I could no longer date anyone with any mental health issues. I can not handle it on any level. I can not handle waiting for the next time it gets bad again. I can not handle worrying that any/every odd comment might be the start of things going down hill again. I just couldn't. It is so much hard work. But that's just me.

Hopefully medicated your DP will be fine but if you are a weak person I wouldn't suggest this relationship for you. If you can handle the possibility of some rough times on occasion I would say go ahead. It may not ever happen!

I know a man who was (maybe even still is) schizophrenic and he is a lovely man. No reason why any woman couldn't have a wonderful relationship with him (and one woman is). You would not know by meeting him. He is just a normal guy.