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Original poster

ok ... opinions needed .. does anyone else think this is strange?

48 replies

wannaBe1974 · 17/01/2006 07:03

Next weekend we are going to the inlaws for the weekend. It's MIL's birthday so we said we'd go. FIL and SIL are apparently cooking dinner in the evening. But here's the bit I think is .. not sure whether to describe it as strange, nuts .. mad ...

My DS who is 3 asked if MIL was having a party, and instead of saying that she wasn't really having one, she's decided to have a party especially for DS! so he doesn't feel left out on her birthday! She's even going to the extent of organizing party games ... we've all got to pretend this is MIL's party, eat party food ... play pass the parcel ... and then put DS to bed after and have another meal!

I Just think she's turning it into somewhat of a circus! apart from anything else I don't want my DS to think that whenever someone has a birthday they're going to lay on a party especially for him!

Does anyone else think this is a bit crazed?

OP posts:

NotQuiteCockney · 17/01/2006 07:24

I think your MIL is just enjoying spoiling your DS. Yes, it's a bit mad, but it's a "normal" sort of mad. She'll probably enjoy doing party games etc.

As long as you don't start doing the same for all non-child birthdays, it'll be fine.

ladymuck · 17/01/2006 07:28

No, it's rather sweet, and the sort of thing both my mum and mil would do. It would be strange if your ds was 9 or 10....

Forcing you to eat 2 meals would be rather strange, but I guess the first one will be ds's tea.

Auntymandy · 17/01/2006 07:30

I agree she is just enjoying spoiling her grandchild. I'm afraid its in law syndrome. If your Mum did it you'd think 'ahh how sweet'!!!
I know I would be the same!!!

mummygow · 17/01/2006 07:37

my dd who is 3 loves birthdays and if there is a cake involved that constitutes a party - dh and I even buy a sponge for each other now just so she can bring it in and get excited at singing happy birthday

dejags · 17/01/2006 07:43

I think that's lovely. He'll have a ball.

I wish I had a mum who would go out of the way for my kids like that

FrannytheQuinoaEater · 17/01/2006 08:09

Yes, mad but nice. I agree, if my mum was doing it, I would think "aw bless." If my MIL was doing it I would be phoning her doctor

Meanoldmummy · 17/01/2006 08:35

We have a full-scale children's-type patry in our house every time one of the adults has a birthday - cheese'n' pineapple on sticks, pass the parcel , the lot!! My kids aren't going to be little for ever, and we all like the chance to be silly and have a bit of fun. The spoiling thing doesn't come up, because it's not just for the kids, it's for all of us. And if overdoing the fun, attention, affection, excitement and general hilarity of childhood is spoiling, then my kids are spoilt. I have VERY high standards of behaviour and manners and insist on kind and considerate behaviour. So I can't see it doing any harm.

jenkel · 17/01/2006 08:58

My Step father loves childrens parties, he said the saddest thing about his kids growing up was no more little kids parties, he loves the party games, the jelly and icecream, so I could imagine he would like to do something like this, I think it is quite sweet

Bozza · 17/01/2006 09:08

I see where you are coming from. My MIL is a bit like this and it irritates me but I think that says as much about me as about her! From your post it sounds as though you live away and so perhaps she doesn't see all that much of your DS - so she's trying to make the most of the time she spends with him.

I think at 3 your DS will get the idea that not all adults have parties - or at least that kind of party. My DS is 4 and he knows that, for instance, my Grandad who is 93 insists on taking the entire family out for Sunday lunch when it's his birthday and so as far as DS is concerned "Grandad has his birthday at the pub", as opposed to soft play or whatever.

eidsvold · 17/01/2006 09:38

i think it is fab - a time for everyone to let their hair down a bit - enjoy being a kid again. We have cake and candles for everyone's birthday as dd1 loves helping to blow out candles.

I think she is being considerate and wanting to spoil her grandchild. The best part is - you can have a good time as she is putting in the work!!

Blu · 17/01/2006 10:05

It's sweet and fun!

I doubt this will have dire negative effects on your DS's idea of other people's birthdays, so relax and enjoy it!

Beetrootfultoyourself · 17/01/2006 10:09

what a lovely woman.

Hausfrau · 17/01/2006 10:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BonyM · 17/01/2006 10:14

Aahh - I think it's lovely actually. Not strange, nuts or mad but really sweet.

hellsbellsdownunder · 17/01/2006 10:19

I'd go along with it. It's great that your MIL wants to treat her grandson - and sounds like fun for everyone!

Pinotmum · 17/01/2006 10:22

I suppose she feels the best present for her to get on her birthday is to see her grandson really happy and I think that's lovely. My mil would never think of doing something like that and she IS mad.

LadySherlockofLGJ · 17/01/2006 10:24

What a great GM.

Original poster

wannaBe1974 · 17/01/2006 11:34

ok, the party itself isn't what I have real issue with. I mean if she wants to have a kids type party on her birthday so that DS can be included then I have no issue with that - after all party food is quite nice sometimes. but the fact she's having this tea party around about DS tea time so that "he thinks he's being invited to granny's party", her words not mine, and we're all going along with that and then having the "proper birthday meal" after DS has gone to bed, why couldn't we just all have a teaparty and be done with it so that DS could be properly included. I know it seems petty but it's just how I feel.

For the record, I have no general issues with my MIL per say, in fact I get on with her better than I get on with my mother ..

OP posts:

DissLocated · 17/01/2006 11:41

Sounds exactly like the kind of slightly nutty, slightly ott but very sweet thing my Mum would do. I get parcels arrive addressed to 'Princess (dd's name)' with love hearts drawn all over them. Also cards for me with 'to my wonderful, witty, beautiful daughter' written on the front. The post lady must be bitterly disappointed when i asnwer the door!

I find it grates slightly sometimes but I bite my tongue and try to think of the good intentions it's done with.

Auntymandy · 17/01/2006 12:31

I still think its nice. She must think alot of him to go to so much trouble. And you can have a nice adult meal that you dont have to cook!

cod · 17/01/2006 12:32

Message withdrawn

Dinosaur · 17/01/2006 12:39

I don't really see the problem, wannaBe1974 .

How is your DS "not being properly included"? Do you think that MIL shouldn't be having a meal in the evening, or something?

cod · 17/01/2006 12:40

Message withdrawn

hunkermunker · 17/01/2006 12:42

You're being petty! What do you want to happen?! Enjoy having a MIL who wants to go to the trouble.

cod · 17/01/2006 12:46

Message withdrawn

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