just been on date 4... what you you think of this?

[chocolatepuff]

met a lovely guy, he's kind, funny, good in bed.. So yesterday was date 4. It is his birthday soon so i'd said i'd go over to his and cook him a meal, which i did. Bought round a bottle of cava too. had a lovely afternoon. we went to the pub before going our separate ways for the evening (i was meeting some friends as was he) and i arrived at the bar first and so ended up buying him a drink! Ok that felt a bit cheeky.. its not chivalry im after really, but i think its common decency for him to buy me a drink after i'd bought and cooked his lunch.. anyway as we were finishing our drinks i spotted a table becoming free so i suggested we sit down, to which he replied he would have to scoot. so no chance of reciprocating the drink either. felt very cheeky. god ive just realised from writing it down, he's not that into me is he? or just a bit selfish. what do you think / what would you do??

Yes I'll see how the next date goes and not be so forthcoming with my purse :)
Interesting to hear different responses to dating and expectations, thanks for everyones input.

I think I would be more upset at the fact he left so soon rather than he let you buy him a drink.

I also think it's a massive mistake to sleep with anyone you haven't got to know well first, I'm not frigid but that's a hugely personal thing and if you're willing to share it so soon I think it can cheapen the relationship and some men can lose respect for women who do (not saying they aren't idiots). I would also be worrying about my own health and safety.

Was he thankful for the meal?

Hi strawberry, I disagree. The men I am attracted to wouldn't think less of me for wanting to have sex soon into a relationship - I wouldn't go for a man that I suspected had that mentality! And in terms of safety, condoms are always used.

Yes he was very thankful for the meal.

Condoms don't protect against everything!!!!!!

I don't think any man would turn sex down. Obviously it's a personal choice and lots of my rl friends are of the same opinion as you but I am not.

I don't think the sex is an issue but I wouldn't cook a man a meal too early on in a relationship tbh. Looks too keen, better to play it cool IMVHO

OP you sound lovely and I think are overthinking what he is thinking, better to focus on what you think - perhaps you found his behaviour a little rude (wrt not going to sit down with you or buying you a quick drink for example) or perhaps you feel you're investing too much into the situation too early on?

I'd just take a step back, focus on yourself and let him make the next move and see how you go.

Strawberry- this may sound like a stupid q, but what don't condoms protect against? They are the safest way to have sex aren't they? I know I am healthy (tests in pregnancy 3 years ago and not slept with anyone but Childs father since) and (I'll call him M) M had a full test 3 months ago and hasn't slept with anyone since. I do believe / trust him on this, but I still don't know him, hence the condoms. Anyway I digress..!

Penny - thank you, yes I think you're right I need to concentrate on my feelings. A bit of s challenge for me but I'm gonna work on it! I only did the meal as a bday thing, wouldn't have done it by-the-by. (can see how it would seem a bit keen if it was for no occasion!)