I left my husband and now he is having a breakdown

[thebighouse]

I told my husband two months ago that I wanted to leave him and I left two weeks ago. But he seems to be having a total breakdown. He is crying all the time and vomiting and not sleeping or eating for days. He is having psychological assessments and taking sedatives.

He was emotionally abusive and having left, I feel really happy. But I feel really awful watching him suffering so much. He keeps telling me that I have done this to him and humiliated him and he can't survive without me.

He refused to leave the house and refused to let me have the children any more than 45% of the time (so he can be the resident parent). But still he keeps saying that I have left with him nothing and I had no right to leave.

How long is it going to take him to move on and start recovering? Even after two months, he seems to be getting worse and worse. What can I do?

0808 802 4040

This is the number for Respect. Much easier to get through to than WA, because it is a government funded helpline for abusive men...who all believe it is their partner's fault, and so, never ring it. BUT they are more than happy to talk to victims too! And their insight is amazing. Really, amazing.

There are always posters on these threads that just simply don't understand the dynamics of the abusive pathology....and lucky then eh?

How come abusive men get the government funded helpline, and the victims get a ludicrously oversubscribed charity helpline?

Man's world, sp?

How come we need 'charities' to protect children?

Hmm I wonder if the request for 55% of childcare was just posturing to win a battle and not what he actually wanted? Being an emotional failure is a sure-fire way to have your kids taken off you - maybe that's what he really wants?

A friend of mine left her OH, he fought her for everything, then just as the details were being ironed out he just gave it all back to her. He realised that he no longer had control and became uninterested in his children and his home.

Interesting about Respect, singing princess.

That's what my first abusive h did...Took me to court over and over and over again.

And then, after years of this shit, stood i court and said "I can't be bothered with this anymore" I remember those words so clearly. And we have seen and heard nothing from him since. Ds has had NO contact, no birthday or Christmas cards, nothing.

All he wanted was to tell the world how horrid I was, that is all, It had NOTHING to do with ds. And the most ridiculous thing of all is that even now, he has PR, he always did have, I never tried to stop that, I just wanted him to turn up when he said he was going to, never any need fpr court.

The people at RESPECT are able to explain the controllers mindset. It's hard to take on board that someone cab be so driven to control, and that control is the ONLY thing they want, everything else is just a tool to use to get that control. It's very hard for normal people to get just how powerful that motivation is for these people.

first well done you for getting away,

second, if he spends sop much time vomiting doesnt leave much time for childcare so knock that on the head until his 'breakdown' is over.

He could be making himself vomit? I used to do that with chemicals so I didn't have to go to school (bullied) but you know if he is emotionally abusives its probably a very desperate ploy.

*so much

Yeah, you want to see a miracle? Tell him the DC will stay with you till he's all better.

He's no more having a breakdown than I am!

Call his bluff, this is ALL totally typica$ of abusive men. Get yourself on the Freedom programme

i think you should listen to you heart and see if it is worth it to leave the family
i think that separation or divorce is the worse thing that can happen to a person .it is hard yes but i think we should be forgivin to each other. remember when you first met,when you promise each other to stay together for life for the good and for the bad .the devil wants you to leave the family to break the societe ,dont listen those who encourage the divorce.they are wrong .they should instead encourage you to think about better solutions may be a short break or a holiday .try to get someone from your familly and someone from his familly to listen to both of you especially when you have kids .dont be the one who leave the familly first always be positive .god bless you

This thread is 8 months old - I'm sure the OP is doing what she needs to.

As for your advice...