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Original poster

Internet Dating - Nice guy - But I told a massive lie - don't know how to get out of it!

38 replies

WhiteLace · 12/01/2012 08:01

So I "met" this nice sounding guy online, really like the sound of him and we've been messaging back and forth for a week or so. He's just suggested we meet for coffee. Problem is I have lied about something pretty big - I lied about my name. Might not sound that big a deal but my real name is Tracy and I HATE HATE HATE it. No offense to other Tracy's out there but I just hate my name and thing it automatically gives people the wrong impression of you when you tell them. Therefore, when he asked my name I said it was Stacey. He then started going on about how he loves the name Stacey and it's such a pretty name! argh! So he's probably built up this image of me now based on me being called something I'm not. I know I have to tell him but how embarrassing and what a shit way to start off a relationship, by lying to him! How do you reckon he will react? Sad will be gutted if it puts him off.

OP posts:
QuinnFabray · 12/01/2012 08:05

Just tell him. And tell him why.

lubeybooby · 12/01/2012 08:05

Hahaa... sorry to make light of this, actually no not sorry at all, it isn't remotely a problem! Loads of people use a different name online for security purposes, avoiding online stalking etc.

Secondly internet dates rarely go anyway no matter how good they seem when talking online

Thirdly he would have likely complimented any name you had given out of politeness.

Chill!

QuinnFabray · 12/01/2012 08:05

It's only a week in, it's no big deal. The longer you leave it, the bigger deal it will become.

schobe · 12/01/2012 08:06

I reckon he was lying about liking Stacey and will be relieved!

Just come clean and explain that (a) you don't like Tracey and (b) you always give a false name to protect your anonymity in case any of the people on the site turn into stalkers. I think quite a few people do that.

Sparklingbrook · 12/01/2012 08:06

I don't think it's that bad Whitelace. It's not a massive lie really, you just don't like your name. Grin A name does not make you pretty or otherwise, if he likes you, he likes you.
You could say you use the name Stacey online to protect yourself.

Sparklingbrook · 12/01/2012 08:08

TBH I was quite disappointed with your massive lie. Thought you were going to say you told him you didn't have children and you have six, or that you were ten years younger than you are. Grin

Original poster
WhiteLace · 12/01/2012 08:09

Note to self: seems we still have a problem with over-analysing everything Blush

OP posts:
lubeybooby · 12/01/2012 08:10

Bless you :o

Have your date, enjoy, don't worry!

Sparklingbrook · 12/01/2012 08:12

Nothing wrong with over-analysing either WhiteLace. Wink

RoxyRobin · 12/01/2012 08:14

schobe's second explanation is great - it makes it a perfectly sensible and rational thing to do, and I'm sure he'd accept this without question. Also, I think 'What a lovely name!' is something many men feel they have to say even if you're called Ethelburga.

SittingBull · 12/01/2012 08:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QuintessentiallyShallow · 12/01/2012 08:23

you have simply been protecting your identity. chillax.

ImJustABloke · 12/01/2012 09:18

ImJustaBloke ... but it wouldn't matter to me at all.
Oh, and who's to say that Stacey isn't your nickname?

Relax, it's nothing to worry about

Punkatheart · 12/01/2012 09:23

Send him this:

Pootles2010 · 12/01/2012 09:24

That's not massive lie at all! Honestly don't worry.

You're as bad as me - I was panicking about fact that I wore contacts first date, so he might be put off by my wearing glasses! I ended up getting rather drunk and saying I've got something to tell you in the most melodramatic way possible, of course he was expecting that I was married or something Grin. He still ribs me about it now!

ohdearwhatdoidonow · 12/01/2012 09:25

Don't worry about it. Don't stress. If he's a nice guy he'll understand. Good luck!

FWIW I didn't tell my OH (who I met online) my real name, until our 1st date. It's not unusual TBF.

x

Punkatheart · 12/01/2012 10:14

As I said - and I wasn't being facetious - send him the Ting Tings song and an apology. Humour always helps!

niceguy2 · 12/01/2012 12:20

At the end of the date, just fess up and explain how you once got stalked so you decided to use a different name until you trusted the person wasn't a weirdo. And that in his case you'll take the chance..... Wink

OneHandFlapping · 12/01/2012 12:25

If you prefer Stacey, why don't you just tell everyone to call you that? DSis did this decades ago. All her friends (and family) call her by the new name, but all her businessy things eg bank accounts are in her old name.

I wish I'd had the courage to do the same - my lovely mum and dad had a terrible taste in names.

BayPolar · 12/01/2012 12:29

Stacey is as bad as Tracey. ;)

BayPolar · 12/01/2012 12:29

Oops, minus the 'e'.

BayPolar · 12/01/2012 12:30

Why don't you change your name by deed poll? But not to Stacey. ;)

OneHandFlapping · 12/01/2012 12:41

I've got a feeling you can only change your surname by deed poll.

Wittsend13 · 12/01/2012 12:47

Just say everyone calls you Stacey as a nickname but your real name is Tracy which you hate. Problem solved. I doubt he would even question it.

Panfriedstardust · 12/01/2012 12:54

AND..he can still call you Stacey if he wants to....

(not sure why though. What's wrong with Tracey anyway?)