Ok, I'm a 37 year old with two beautiful children and divirced in 2009.Within this time I met a 35 year old male who was also going through divorce at the time we met! However..his circumstances were very different to mine and it wasn't his choice to leave his marriage it was his wife's choice - all because of his behavior and infidelity. My marriage broke down because of my husbands abusive behavior and infidelity. So as you gather I walked away from my ex knowing it was something necer wanted to go back to and i had fallen out of love with him, my partner wasn't over his ex.I understood this at the time (2 years 9 months ago) and was fully aware he still neeeed the time to get over it. So within the first 18 months she was in and out of his life unsure of wether or not she had made the right decision. He then obviously would call time on us and within a few weeks we'd be back on again!! After she finally tOld him it was over and she needed to mOve on as she knew it was never going to work he then decides that he needed more time on his own to process all of this and think about all what had happened. He came back to me telling me he wanted to be with me and the children. So we spend time together involving the children. He tells me in sept he is committed to me. I sensed over the next few months there was still something not right and that he always had a foot out of the door..just through his behavior. So it's been rocky and then BANG!! on 31 Dec 11 I find an email he had sent his ex wife saying he was finding it hard to get over her and move on and that if it was what she wanted they coukd be together anywhere she chose, abroad or the UK. She replies telling him he had treated her so bad in the relationship etc that she couldn't go back to him and that she had net someone and was moving on. She also said she couldn't give him what he was looking for (he is very very needy, very needy!!) She told him to never contact her again and to move on with his life. He replied saying ok I understand and at least now I can move on with my life one way or another. I was heartbroken and obviously went mad at him. His reason was he felt vulnerable at that moment and because she had sent a birthday message to him a few months before it started a thought in his head of 'I wonder if she wants me back' He's had a bad upbringing but feels he is better than most and as his ex was a glamorous trophy wife I just feel that's the life he'd prefer. I'm a genuine person without an ounce of shallowness in me! Anyway since finding the email it's been hard and I asked him a question about who he was emailing a few days ago and he flipped and decided to walk away from our relationship telling me he needs to reflect on all of this. He's apologized for the way he's treated me and apologized for the email etc etc.
He's been good to the children and they love him dearly. His last contact with me said he felt undervalued and that I never show any credit for how he is with my children. we have shared good times together and I still love him.
Ok - hit me with it!!