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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Aworks website, anyone know what this is?

53 replies

npg1 · 11/01/2012 13:59

Hi everyone.

Well I read up a few things and it looks like its not good.

Me and OH have been together a year. He moved in in about july time. He had a credit card which has reached the limit and I told him to cut the card up as he struggles with payments. I have never seen a statement as he says they go to his parents house where he previously lived. I know this card worries him and I said I would be happy to use my savings money to pay the card off, £2000 in the course of about 5 months!

Anyway, today I am using his car, went into the boot and there is a bag with rubbish in etc and on top was a credit card statement so I decided to have a look. There are about 3 payments of £30- £50 each time to aworks. Now am I over reacting? How do I bring this up with him when he gets home tonight, 'oh by the way I saw a statement in the car'? am I a mugg for paying this all off?

We are getting married in september. Please help

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 11/01/2012 17:16

I am so sorry x

npg1 · 11/01/2012 17:18

I just dont know what to say or do at the moment x

OP posts:
izzywhizzyswinterwarmer · 11/01/2012 17:26

You're quite right - using the services of prostitutes in any way, shape, or form, is an humungous issue that is a dealbreaker for any self-respecting woman and in order to retain your self respect, the only thing you can do is require him to leave your home tonight.

The fact that he was back on his favourite site within hours of returning from your family holiday suggests that he's an addict and you would be ill-advised to believe any promises he may make because he won't be able to go cold turkey, but he will go underground and become more cunning about hiding his sleazy activities.

Do you, or does he, have dc from a former relationship?

npg1 · 11/01/2012 17:43

yes I have 2 DC aged 9 and 5yrs

OP posts:
SardineQueen · 11/01/2012 17:44

I am so so sorry npg I can't imagine how you feel. What an appalling shock.

izzywhizzyswinterwarmer · 11/01/2012 18:19

Unfortunately, as AF has observed, what you have discovered is most probably merely the tip of an iceberg and it's stomach-churning to think that he's been interacting with this and other prostitution sites under your nose and in the home of your dcs.

No doubt you feel that your world has turned upside down, and I can only hope that your shock and disbelief rapidly turns to righteous anger and that you find the courage to do what you know you have to do.

Have faith that there's a good man waiting for you, honey, and he won't abuse your trust or do anything to jeopardise your happiness.

lazarusb · 11/01/2012 20:20

Really feel for you OP. But be thankful - at some point in the future, not now necessarily - that you discovered this before you married him. What a sickening scumbag.

threeleftfeet · 11/01/2012 23:26

At the very least he's using your money to wank with (as you offered to pay the bill).

Not very respectful to say the least.

This man hasn't got your best interests at heart (or your DCs).

Be thankful you saw him for what he is before you got legally stuck to him!

TooMuchInLove · 12/01/2012 13:56

God i am so sorry for you. that website was my partners problem as well!! i wish it didn't exist but it does :(
some people can get over it, i am trying to as we speak but its so hard. just look after yourself, the twat doesn't deserve you x

SpikeInTheBasement · 13/01/2012 17:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

izzywhizzyswinterwarmer · 14/01/2012 17:15

Any else think that the knob threw himself on the OP's mercy, 'I seriously fucked up, it'll never happen again, blah de blah', and she's going to clear his debts before the wedding that she'll be paying for?

tallwivglasses · 14/01/2012 17:24

Sadly yes, izzy. Maybe this has given him the wake-up call he needs...he'll support her at the GUM clinic and be the perfect, faithful husband with a new-found respect for women.

Maybe.

garlicfrother · 14/01/2012 17:33

In case you've any remaining doubts, OP - and for people who'll find your thread after finding what you did - I've looked up who owns the awork.co.uk domain. You can do it here.

Domain name:
awork.co.uk

Registrant:
AW Systems

Registrant type:
Non-UK Corporation

Registrant's address: Suite 254 166 North Street Belize City Belize

And this from Adultwork's website:

Any sexually explicit materials found on the Site were produced and provided by third party advertisers or content providers and are merely being distributed by AW Systems International Ltd via the Site.

The same company owns the adultwork.co.uk domain.

If I were you, I'd convert the wedding parts you've already paid for into a massive party if you can't get a refund! (I'm sure about this, because it's what I should have done ... )

Sorry for you.

garlicfrother · 14/01/2012 17:41

Love that they're based in Belize Hmm Tax cheats as well as pimps.

Izzy - Let's hope she's at her Mum's, getting over him, eh?

anon1981 · 16/12/2012 02:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

carmenelectra · 16/12/2012 10:14

OP I seriously hope that you have booted this loser out after telling him what you have found. There is nothing to discuss in my opinion.

He has been spending all his dosh on a site where prostitutes advertise their business. Lovely. Even if its webcamming, are you oK with that. Interacting with a real life woman. And you were gonna foot the bill! I'd be incandescant with rage. Even if he hasn't shagged a prostitute yet, he will.

The thing is, this is a relatively new relationship where you are planning a wedding so presumably really 'happy'. And he is still off doing this. Maybe he thinks that this isn't cheating? I'd be really worried that someone I was marrying has such massive difference in boundaries to me.

Like I said, he's doing it now at a happy stage in your life. Imagine if you go through a bad patch what he would do?

janelikesjam · 16/12/2012 10:40

I am so sorry OP to hear this, it must be very distressing. On the bright side you found out before you got married, you haven't given him any money, and a possible loss of £1200 on the wedding still represents a lucky escape.

I don't really think you need to confront him as to how you found out, you don't owe him any explanation actually (although you could tell him you know he uses online sexual services if you want and leave it at that, who needs the drama).

Keeping his "post" going to his mother's is a big red flag, but hindsight is a great thing.

stuffitunderthebed · 16/12/2012 10:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VitoCorleone · 16/12/2012 15:29

This thread is from January

jono2014 · 07/01/2014 21:34

I wanted to add something to this just in case someone else finds them self in the same situation.

adultwork is an adult site but it doesn't necessarily mean the guy in question paid for prostitutes/escorts. You can video chat with people, or you can pay for porn. You CAN'T pay for sex (and escorts are not just for that purpose). Maybe he was into some kinky fetish he didn't want to open up about, which says more about the relationship than anything else.

The people in that relationship hadn't been together that long - how old was the credit card statement? Also if he wasn't very good with money maybe it wasn't him making the purchase, maybe his card got cloned and he never paid much attention?

You can also become addicted to that sort of activity and site, just like gambling or drink. Especially if he was out of a relationship for an extended period of time before they got together. Maybe he was finding it hard to change his ways.

I wouldn't have jumped to the conclusions most people did here without the facts.

Angel37 · 12/01/2015 13:28

Hi.. My OH uses this site AW ( I just saw his statement!!!) he says he pays just see pics?? But why would he pay to see pics when you can go on sites for free to see pics??

ErinsDad21 · 28/04/2015 15:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ineedabodytransplant · 28/04/2015 15:59

Zombie thread that's be resurrected more times than the local kebab offerings.

Will report to lock

Abcde16 · 08/01/2016 18:13

On my (soon to be) Ex-husbands credit card bills there are payments to aworks ( generally one or two at about £30 and than a payment of £100 to a number - I can't remember exactly but something like E9027300000. Each time they are a separate entry - but v close in time.

I know the score now (tho' it was a really big shock at the time) so I have just taken it for granted that they are payments for prostitutes - but does anyone know if there is anything more I should know about these?

user1465333936 · 07/06/2016 22:39

I typed in what is Awork.co.uk and found I'm not alone I came across that sight on my partner bank statements last night several times in one month every other day he made payments of ten pounds to that company I was gutted disgusted I confronted him without telling him I found it on his statements I said I won't tell him how I found out .he denied it said he doesn't know the site and has never used prostitutes or webcam ect .he totally wouldn't come clean I told him you did that and even worse in my front room and god knows how many you have met .i confronted him again today and told him when he was getting annoyed and making out I was in the wrong to stop lying I said you have been caught out I know you done it its your bank and you paid that disgusting site for those tramps. What would he get for ten pounds a time I don't know I haven't seen any other statements so I don't know how long it's gone on and how much he's spent .i don't know if I can get past this I don't know if I can let him touch me again I'm heartbroken I haven't a clue what to do I have never trusted him with good reasons he has always been sneaky and private passwords on everything I'm torn what do I do