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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH will be going to a strip club when hes away - help me make it alright in my mind please!!

54 replies

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 16/01/2006 10:54

DH is going on a stag weekend in June which will involve lots of strippers. He has never seen a stripper before and although he says hes not bothered by seeing one but it will be part of the trip I am having trouble dealing with the thought of it in my mind.

When we met 6 years ago I was only 16 and typically immature and jealous. I wouldnt even let him look at pg 3 girls FFS! Fortunatly I grew up and now have no problem with porn etc.

But this stripper thing is totally new to me and as irrational as it sounds, I feel jealous. I dont like the idea of him seeing naked women (Me being the only female hes ever seen naked in rl!) I dont like the idea of other woman turning him on, of them dangling there boobs in his face etc

But rationally, I know there is nothing to worry about, He wont cheat on me and he wont love/fancy me any the less. But the unrational part of me says nooooo its nasty pervvy behaviour to go and drool over naked woman, I dont want you getting off on them etc

A bit pathetic to feel like this i know, so how can I get over it???

(I feel very silly for feeling like this)

OP posts:
Passionflower · 17/01/2006 16:48

Ummm, battles and wars spring to mind cod. TBH you might have been better to ask him how he would feel if it was you out drinking with a load of naked men rather than putting it the other way around.

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 17/01/2006 16:50

Yes, hes not going.

I never asked him not to go, just explained how it made me feel. He had said all along that if i wasnt comofortable with it then he wouldnt go, and I think he appreciates that I took a few days to think about it instead of just saying 'oh no id hate it' straight away iyswim.

He will be going out with his brothers for a drink nearer to home (no strippers!)

OP posts:
TambaTheDragonSlayer · 17/01/2006 16:53

He said as long as i was safe he wouldnt mind if it was the other way round (hmmm me thinks that might be a little untrue!)

Hes ok about it and isnt annoyed at me etc he can understand how I feel as I have always said that i would like him to go to places like that since we were first together.

He says he wasnt overly bothered about seeing the strippers but would have liked the couple of nights away. Which he really deserves as he works so hard the rest of the year. Thing is though, His brothers are the type that do like strippers, and 'call to you hotel room' stripper (yuou can hire then you know!) and I hate the thought of my dh going to see lap dancres and strippers

and yes cod - fishy relationship advice worked!!

OP posts:
Ururupuin · 17/01/2006 16:54

havent read all of this but my attitude is we all look at the menu when on diet andi am the best thing to happent o him and looking at other woman will only confirm how good i am

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